If you've ever wondered what would happen if Edward ate a drunk animal, well wonder no more.  This story answers that question.  What starts out as your average hunting trip for Edward, takes a 360 turn when he meets Melvin the moose. One drunken talking vampire, one drunken talking moose, some reindeer and Santa, just your average evening in Forks.

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What do you do when your biological clock is ticking? Uh? You hit up your best friend's brother for 'donations'.

"Divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you."  -Margaret Atwood

Bella and Edward Cullen; they were the envy of couples everywhere. Until the Denali sisters came into their lives, that is. Did Edward cheat on Bella? Or is there more to the story than what it seems?

Edward was 19.  Bella was 13.  They were next door neighbors.  Charlie was the chief of police.  Carlisle was a doctor at the local hospital. 

Edward’s little sister Alice was also 13 and Bella’s best friend. 

While home from college for the summer, Edward spent time with his little sister and her best friend so their parents could all go out for dinner.

Over the next several years, Edward and Bella became good friends, until the summer she turned 16 when she transformed before his eyes.

AH, ExB, Mostly EPOV, sort of coming-of-age, hopefully a little poignant, with a splash of angst until Bella's at least seventeen.  Mature for language, eventual lemons and a very spunky Bella.

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When Edward takes Bella into the forest to dump her, her reaction completely surprises him. Will this be the end of B&E or will they find a new path to forever? A canon-based yet very different AU approach to New Moon. Some OOC and OC.