Bring Him Home Chapter 43

I stood outside my bedroom door and listened to see what I could hear but there was nothing. I wondered if he had fallen asleep so I quietly pushed open the door and peered into the room. Edward was sitting on the side of my bed with his head in his hands, his clothes were ruffled as he had tried to loosen them and he looked unkempt.

"Edward everyone has gone, do you want to come back out or do you a few more minutes to yourself?" I kept my voice low and steady trying not to startle him, I didn't want to treat him gently but Emmett's comment still nagged at me. Whilst he hadn't run he had hidden away but that could be looked on as positive, he was still here.

He turned and looked at me, I could see his face was red but I wasn't sure whether he had been crying all the time or not. I smiled to show him everything was ok and his face brightened as he patted the bed at the side of him. I walked into the bedroom and climbed onto my bed, sitting with my back to the headboard. He was still sitting on the side of the bed so all I could see was his back. I wanted him to turn but I knew he needed to do this at his own pace. I also hoped that he would talk and that it may be easier if he couldn't see me.

We sat for about five minutes before he finally spoke

"So you know everything then do you?" he asked quietly

"Not everything Edward, no. I'm pretty much up to date on what happened after you disappeared and about your Mom but I don't know why or what happened on campus to make those girls lie about what you did. You may or may not know but we have been having our own problems, I thought someone was targeting my business but it turns out they were after Esme, someone wanted to overturn a prison sentence on her ex-husband."

I thought it would be good for him to realise he wasn't the only person who was having a hard time at the moment.

He was quiet again and I wasn't sure what he was thinking so I just sat and waited for him to speak.

"I loved Tanya with everything I had and looking back it was your classic first love relationship. We met in high school, messed about in a group and after years of just skirting around each other got together in our final year. We were together all the time, she was my first everything and when the time came we went off to college together and she was my world." He took a huge breath and I thought he was finished talking about her, that it was maybe too painful to remember, but then he continued

"We had to live in halls for the first year but luckily we were in the same block just on different floors so we still managed to be together a lot and we came home for breaks and travelled, always just the two of us, in our own little bubble. I suppose we were together too much but it wasn't until the start of our sophomore year that things started to alter. We had talked endlessly about getting a place together but as the time drew nearer she started to change her mind. She announced out of the blue to me that she wanted to pledge to a sorority and experience life living with her sorority sisters and had apparently been planning it for some time, as it was pretty much all organised. She left me high and dry as I hadn't arranged any accommodation thinking we were moving off campus together. I had to rely on my Mom and Dad helping me out to take an apartment on my own."

He moved carefully turning so his back was against the headboard like mine. I reached out and grabbed his hand and squeezed it, I needed him to know that it was ok, he could talk now or later, there wasn't any pressure, but he carried on.

"Things settled down quickly and most of the time I actually didn't mind living on my own. She would come over to the apartment some nights but other times she would say she was too tired or had too much work to do, or was busy with sorority stuff. I got tired of trying to talk to her on the nights she wasn't at the apartment because I could never get past whoever answered her phone at the house. Then one night she came over and I wasn't in, when she finally tracked me down in the library she got really annoyed and asked me why she didn't have a key to our home. I was so overjoyed to hear her call it that I went out the next day and had one cut for her."

He stopped again and got off the bed saying "do you mind if I get a bottle of water?" I smiled and told him to help himself, whilst I made myself comfortable and waited for him to come back.

He walked back in and settled back on the bed, "Where was I? Oh yes, so she had a key, it was about 18 months into my course at this point and the work load was increasing. I was spending a lot of time in the library because I found it easier to study there, but in truth it was because I was so lonely in my little apartment. Tanya was spending all her time ‘studying' with her sisters so I hardly ever saw her. Finally, after the exams at the end of that year I put my foot down saying that I hardly saw her, so she said she would spend more time at the apartment with me."

He took a long drink and settled back again, "That summer was strange, we spent time together sure but if I'm honest it was different. Sometimes she was distant, other times she would disappear off for the day without telling me and our sex life had virtually disappeared. I should have seen the signs; I think looking back I did but just didn't want to acknowledge them." He took a long drink, but I could tell he wasn't done

"By the time we were back for our Senior year she had agreed she would spend more time at the apartment and she seemed to want to be there, but whilst still living officially in the sorority house. I loved coming home and finding her there, she would be curled up on the couch, relaxed and happy. She started cleaning the place for me, even though I never asked her to, she would change the sheets on the bed, clean the bathroom and wash up the dishes. She even cooked sometimes and although she'd always eaten before I got home she saved me some." He looked at me before continuing

"I was so naïve I actually thought she was finally getting ready to move in and live with me. I was so happy I never questioned our lack of sex life, as it totally non-existent and I understood how busy she was trying to be in three places and keep everyone happy. She was spreading herself between the sorority house, our home and her classes, so she was bound to be shattered, just like I was. Somehow we managed to keep going through the year, I loved coming home and finding her in our bed or soaking in the tub, but the one thing I couldn't understand was her light course load. She never seemed to have much homework or studying to do and every time I asked her about it she would just say she was doing ok, that she had done some before I got home or she managed to get done what she needed to do during the day."

His voice was getting quieter and I could hear the emotion and the occasional wobble as he tried to control some bubbling emotion. I gathered we were getting near the conclusion of the story.

"Finally one evening I was sitting in the library, I just couldn't concentrate, something was niggling at me and it wouldn't go away, so instead of staying until 9.00pm like I did every night, I gave up about 6.00pm. I hurried home, thinking how good it would be for us to have some extra time together. I ordered food from our favourite take away and picked it up along with flowers and a bottle of wine."

He took another long drink and then sat bolt upright and turned to face me

"I opened the door and walked in, the small table we had was set for two, candles lit and a bottle of wine open. I was so excited she had had the same idea but it never even occurred to me that she would know I was coming home early. I stood listening for her wondering where she was when I heard some tell-tale noises, ones I hadn't heard for quite a while. I was still so stupid, I presumed she was getting herself off, so fucking stupid I know, but I did it in the shower so why shouldn't she?" 

"Anyway I stripped off thinking I could join her in whatever she was doing, I walked into the bedroom and well there she was, spread eagle naked on the bed with a man's head between her thighs. He was so busy pleasuring her they didn't even see me. So I just backed out of the bedroom and quietly got dressed."

I squeezed his hand and smiled at him, he'd come so far he just needed to get the rest out into the open.

"I couldn't decide what you to do. Go back into the bedroom and cause a scene, sit on the couch and wait for them to finish or just go back to the library. I'm ashamed to admit I let myself out and went for a walk, taking the takeaway, flowers and wine with me. I walked around the campus until I was so cold and tired that I couldn't stay outside any longer. I got back to the apartment and everything was different, the table was put away, the food and candles gone and my sheets in the washer and the bed remade. Tanya was on the couch watching telly, she welcomed me home just like she normally would and offered to warm up some leftovers for me. It was that that actually broke me, because I realised I'd been eating their leftovers for months, I could even pinpoint when things had changed, which was about a week after I had given her a key".

With that he broke down and started to cry again, I pulled him into my arms and held him as he let out big gut wrenching sobs. This went on for about 10 minutes before he started to make those little noises when you can't breathe because your nose is blocked. I passed him the box of tissues and left him to clean himself up while I went and made us a hot drink.

When I made my way back into the bedroom with two cups of herbal tea I wasn't really that surprised that he had dozed off, I covered him with a blanket and quietly backed out of the room. As I settled down on the couch I wondered if I should let Carlisle know where Edward was, he would know we were going out on a date but he would be expecting him home.

"Hi Carlisle how are you?" I asked as he answered the phone.

"Bella dear is everything ok?" I could hear the worry in his voice.

"Well we had a bit of trouble earlier but it's sorted now, Edward took things to heart and he's had a bit of a meltdown, I'm just ringing to let you know he's asleep now so I'll keep an eye on him tonight. He'll be okay here, I'll look after him."

Carlisle was quiet for a few seconds before he asked me another question

"Bella did Edward cry?" It was a strange question but there must be a reason he was asking it.

"Err yes Carlisle he did, he really sobbed" I told him

"Oh Bella that is the first time he's cried since he heard about his mother's death".

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

So he's finally broken down, hopefully Bella can start to put him back together.