[Report This]Date: 28 Feb 2010 11:50 PM Title: Chapter 25
You know I love your story...can't wait for the rest...
Author's Response:
Well you're jus' everywhere huh, Darlin'? LOL...Nice to see you here too and thanks for findin' me. I'll catch up over here eventually and then you can pick where you wanna read the story, until then thanks for findin' me!
xoxoxoxo
M-
Date: 28 Feb 2010 10:41 PM Title: Chapter 25
cant wait for you to catch up here so I can dump this story off the other site.
Author's Response:
Hey BB! Thanks for the review here and I'm gettin' what I can moved over here but I'll try to catch it up in the next couple of weeks. Already got a good start on the next chapter so no two week wait for that one. :D
xooxxoxoxo
M-
Date: 28 Feb 2010 4:09 PM Title: Chapter 25
Hey, I'm really enjoying your story and thought I'd take the moment to share some thoughts. I really enjoy seeing everything through Jasper's POV. I do have a little bit of constructive criticism though. I understand the desire to write Jasper's accent into all his speech, but I think you can be a little more subtle with it. We all know he's southern, and it comes out in little ways. Remeber that he hasn't actually lived in the south in 50 years or so. When you overwrite the dropping of consonants and ends of words, it can get confusing and acually detract from the story and pull the reader out of it, in order to figure out what you're saying. Let the readers minds do more of the work. I know I automatically put in Jasper's drawl, regardless of whether it's explicitly written or not. Hope this is helpful to you. Other than that, just keep writing. I think you have a great story and I'm looking forward to seeing where you'll take it.
BTW, is Edward coming back soon?
Happy Typing,
karina
Balti K
Author's Response:
I'm glad you are enjoyin' the story and I do understand what you are talkin' about with the droppin' letters and such but that's how I talk so it's easy for me to do and not even think about it. Sometimes I do go back and edit but at this point I think it's important to stay consistent. I have another ten chapters written and I will get 'em posted here eventually but I can't say when. As for Edward he will return but not yet. Not for a while. In 10 chapters he has yet to return. So it's a long process.
I hope you'll stick around and not find my writin' too horrid. Thank you and I'll take that into consideration in the future.
xoxoxox
M-
[Report This]Date: 16 Feb 2010 10:36 PM Title: Chapter 20
He should read some Fan fics!!!LOL
[Report This]Date: 16 Feb 2010 10:20 PM Title: Chapter 19
:-( the Chief cried :-(****
[Report This]Date: 16 Feb 2010 10:05 PM Title: Chapter 18
I love Jazz!
[Report This]Date: 16 Feb 2010 8:48 PM Title: Chapter 15
You go Jasper! He loves her so deeply. He is really barttling a war to have her come back ;-)
[Report This]Date: 16 Feb 2010 8:03 PM Title: Chapter 14
Glad he knows the reason behind her self imposed catatonic state.
[Report This]Date: 16 Feb 2010 7:48 PM Title: Chapter 13
OMG Bella said a bunch!
Date: 14 Feb 2010 5:58 PM Title: Chapter 20
So I haven't reviewed in awhile but it's because I love this so much I couldn't stop to review before reading more. I wish Bella would open up more and maybe some explanation of why Charlie can block Jasper too. I can't wait for Peter and Charlotte to show up I like them and I like them with Jasper. I love Major Whitlock he takes charge more of him please!
[Report This]Date: 13 Feb 2010 8:33 PM Title: Chapter 11
He is really fallin in love with her :-P
[Report This]Date: 13 Feb 2010 7:11 PM Title: Chapter 10
NICE ! Hope Mike crapped himself! LOL
[Report This]Date: 13 Feb 2010 5:51 PM Title: Chapter 9
Love how involved they all are. The humanity is lovely to see :-)
[Report This]Date: 12 Feb 2010 5:42 AM Title: Chapter 8
Holy cow! She talked a bunch!
Author's Response:
Thanks for all your review! There's a lot more to come so hang in there. I'll try to get a bunch more chapters up this weekend.
[Report This]Date: 12 Feb 2010 5:25 AM Title: Chapter 7
Now what?!
Author's Response:
Now we move to the next chapter. LOL...Thanks for all the reviews Darlin'!
xoxooxxoxoxo
M
[Report This]Date: 12 Feb 2010 4:44 AM Title: Chapter 5
at least he got her talking...even if its yelling.
[Report This]Date: 12 Feb 2010 4:16 AM Title: Chapter 4
Love what he did to those jerks!
Date: 12 Feb 2010 2:05 AM Title: Chapter 4
Love it so good! But this is just what I needed I hope he pulls her out of her shell fast!
Author's Response:
Thanks for all the reviews and I'm glad you are liking it so far!
xoxoxo
M-
[Report This]Date: 11 Feb 2010 11:38 PM Title: Chapter 3
Jasper so rocks!
Date: 11 Feb 2010 2:25 PM Title: Chapter 3
Angry Bella is good. I hate weak Bella, I love she is showing some emotions. Is it her shield that is blocking Jasper out or something else?
Date: 11 Feb 2010 2:08 PM Title: Chapter 2
Only Jasper would think to challenge Bella to eat. I love it and the accent I've always thought Jasper was more real with a drawl.
Date: 11 Feb 2010 1:46 PM Title: Chapter 1
This is so good can't wait for more. I love bella and jasper. I've always felt like Edward was a stalker and a perv.
Date: 09 Feb 2010 5:01 PM Title: Chapter 5
OMG soooo coollllll!
I hope you´ll make the next one soon!
Can´t wait!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. This story has 32 chapters so far and I'm going to try putting there here in 5's, probably once or twice a day. So we'll get there. Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions along the way. :)