why do you feel so ashamed? its just fiction. If you like writting about stuff like that, its perfectly understandable. Many people think that degrading fantasies are sexy as hell. I would worry about the plot and the writting part. And the part that you are sick in the head...whoa,so much guilt. You know very few people do actually kill or rape but many people think about that, or like writting, reading stories with these themes. I enjoyed reading your story. Perhaps this shows that i have some unresolved issues and needs, but by the way i found it a kinky story that got me off. There is no reason to be ashamed of what you like fantasing about.