Membership status: Member
Bio:
I have created this profile to use for commenting, chatting and discussions for the Making of a MASTERpiece Erotica Contest.
I do intend to use this in future contests as well, so let's have fun and get to know each other.
I will have my red and black flogger for those who get out of line (or get in line), whichever suits our purpose!
I love reading and editing Romantica and Erotica, so hit me with your best shot...please...and let the games begin!
*sits back in red leather chair, crosses black thigh-high, 6' heels, resting flogger across lap*
Olivia Spade thought she'd lost the love of her life at 16, but ten years later Sebastian Grady returns. Everything is different, he is different, and nothing will be the same. Can they accept that the hands of fate have tied them together again? Can Olivia get past her fears that he will leave her like he did then? What happens when other factors enter their lives bent on tearing them apart?
Fate is strong, but is it strong enough?
Categories: Erotica, Original Fiction
Characters: None
Genre: Erotica, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: J's Read and Loved Stories
Chapters: 8 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 25802 Read Count: 9800
Date: 30 Aug 2012 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 - Someone Like Me
Enjoyed their time together, just talking...
this cracked me up...he is such a guy!
"And you walk around half naked in front of him?" he said, disapproval lacing his tone.
"What? He's my best friend. You wouldn't be saying anything if he was a girl."
"I don't want my girl showing her goodies off to other men."
I smirked. "So I'm your girl now?"
Good Luck this week!
Date: 23 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 - A Connection Reborn
Hello Cat,
This is a very interesting and intriguing story. Wasn't sure where you were going, though figured he was going to show up again. The banter and character development is good. Pace and flow is good as well. I thnk the only other thing is that it seems a little new moonish. I would love to see less Edward/Bella/Jake and more Olivia, Sebastian and Sam. Make this their own, and it will be great.
If I had to justify a flogging...it would be due to minor punctuation and proofreading errors.
I wil give you the same lecture as the others. I would highly recommend that before you post chapter 4, should you make it in the top 12, I would find a couple people that could possibly proofread.
Keep in mind, you are writing for a contest, a contest that could potentially get you a contract to publish your story, Please put some time into the editing side as well. If you write FF, find a beta if you don't have one...there are several that would probably be more than happy to help you out.
That being said...I can't wait to see where this goes. Sebastian is taking control over Olivia, and she wants it, but I get a sense that she is afraid he will leave again. Looking forward to chapter 4!
Good luck in the Contest!
Date: 08 Aug 2012 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - A Body's Obsession
Well, that was interesting...fast, hard and chaotic! Not bad! I think the only thing that bugged me a bit, but I understand that we really don't know Sebastian and this was a loooooong time coming..giggles..literally! I didn't like how rough he was with her their first time orally. *prudish much* Not really, however, that is such a think I would not think most would do, especially to that rough extent, the first time. And again...where are the condoms in theses stories...I don't care if she is on birth control, I want disease protection people! LOL! You don't know him anymore...
SpankMe: All joking aside, other than some repetition of "breaths in pants" some body parts doing things they can't normally do..."my lips grazed his skin" would be better if it was I grazed my lips along his skin...but these are minor. Work on it in the next chapter and it's all good!
Good luck in the contest. Congrats on making the top 12.
When two friends realized that they are soulmates but one of them is married. Do you risk it all to be with the true keeper of your heart?
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Genre: Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 21097 Read Count: 316
Date: 23 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Hello BDM,
Ha, nice initials! Just sayin'. Ok, I think that your story has potential. Honestly, the format is a little hard for me, the back and forth can be a bit distractng.
Same advice for you as so many others.
Same issue I am seeing, so repeating my sentiment.Typos, grammar and punctuation can really distract even the best stories.
I would highly recommend that before you post chapter 4, should you make it in the top 12, I would find a couple people that could possibly proofread.
Keep in mind, you are writing for a contest, a contest that could potentially get you a contract to publish your story, Please put some time into the editing side as well. If you write FF, find a beta if you don't have one...there are several that would probably be more than happy to help you out.
Good Luck in the Contest!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the advise, I will take it all into consideration. I appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment.
and the intials, HAHA glad you like, didn't really notice till you said that.
When Levi Daniels comes to speak to Ember Collins' roommate about a case. Sparks fly instantly and they waste no time getting to know each other. Levi is looking for more than a sub and Ember seems to be exactly what he wants. She is new to being submissive and wants to learn as much as she can from the sexy older Dom.
When feelings start to emerge can they hold it together? Will Levi be able to balance his love for Ember with the Dom that she needs? Can Ember understand that love and submission can go hand in hand? What happens when another Dom shows an interest in the couple?
Follow these two through their adventures and see where they will take it. How long will it take for them to learn that Love is the Master?
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Genre: Erotica, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: Dominance and submission
Series: Misstoria's Stories to Read
Chapters: 23 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 101977 Read Count: 24754
Date: 23 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Can I keep you?
Hello there F48,
Well you just jumped right in there and took off running. I think the only real suggestion that I can give you at this point of the game is this:
Slow down! *smacks hand with ruler*
You have the potential of a really good story. You jumped in so fast that it was hard for me to get a feel for the characters, so if you make it into the final 12, I'd love to see ya slow down, really show us that he is a true Dom, has some experience and convince us how he knows she is the "one" so soon. I would really like to read the next chapter and see where you go with them,
Good Luck in the Contest.
Author's Response:
Thank you for reviewing. I took your suggestions and made some changes to chapter 4. I am new to developing a character from scratch. I know what I don't want them to be and spent too much time avoiding that not really developing what I did want them to be.
Thank you for good feedback!