Krazi

xoxo Here´s a little sneak peek at the next chapter:

“Hey there, buddy,” I cooed softly while I swayed Parker back-and-forth in my arms.  “Daddy sure did miss you.  Did you miss me too, P?”  I asked, sitting down in the glider that was in the corner of his hospital room.

I´d stripped, and took a quick shower in the on-call room, donning a pair of dark blue scrubs and a yellow disposable hospital gown before I entered Parker´s room.  You could never be too careful, and I didn´t want to expose my little guy to any unnecessary germs that could possibly prolong his stay. 

I knew that Bella was anxious to our little guy home, but for me, Parker´s release would be bittersweet.  Parker going home meant that I wouldn´t be able to see him everyday.  I hadn´t realized that I was crying until a tear splashed against his little blue cap-covered head separating into what seemed like a thousand individual molecules.

Feeling the need to explain to my son why I wouldn´t continue to see him every day, I slipped my finger in his tiny hand, relishing the way his little fingers wrapped around my large one, and started to speak.  “Well, P,” I paused, fighting with the lump that was clogging my throat.  “You´re getting so big, daddy´s so proud of you, sweet boy, proud that after everything he did to your mommy that you´re healthy, growing big and strong, and soon you´ll get to go home.”  I bit the inside of my cheek, trying in vain to hold back my sob.  Unsuccessful in attempt, “I´m so sorry, son” fell from my lips in a broken cry.  “It´s all my fault that you´re in here; I will never be able make it up to you, but by God, I plan to die trying.”

Parker´s eyes fluttered open, staring up at me as if he was offering me a tiny piece of absolution.  Though some may not agree, and argue that it was gas, I´ll swear to my dying day that he looked up at me and smiled.  Beaming up at me with rose-colored cheeks, and a twinkle in his eye, in me, my son saw no wrong. 

I was his hero! 

Just the mere thought of that made my heart pump wildly in my chest.  Not that it was even remotely possible, but in that moment, my love for this tiny innocent creature in my arms seemed to quadruple in its intensity.  Clutching his delicate little body to mine, I held him as tight to me as could without causing him harm.

All too soon, my phone was vibrating.  Without even looking at the screen, I knew that our time was up for today.  Once Bella returned, she and Mac would be here for the rest of the night.  Bella was such a good mother, making time for both of our children. 

Even though it was against hospital policy, she insisted that Mac be allowed spend the night in her brother´s room; having me for a father and  Carlisle Cullen as your grandfather came with many perks that we had no problem using.

Parker´s suite was state of the art, and if not for the obvious knowledge that this was a hospital, you would think that you were staying in a suite at the Fairmont Olympic Hotel.

Being a children´s hospital, we had several rooms that were setup for long-term care, making families feel like they were at a home-away-from-home when their child was hospitalized long-term for chronic illnesses. 

Bella and Mac were able to sleep in a comfortable queen-sized bed and the room even had a small kitchenette complete with a microwave and nice-sized refrigerator.  That way, Bella had plenty of liquids at her disposal to keep her hydrated for breastfeeding, and Mac could have juice and snacks to tide her over during the day.

Like I said, it was the perfect set-up!

Reluctantly, I stood to my feet, trying not to jostle the sleeping infant in my arms.  Taking care with his wires and IV, I placed a lingering kiss atop Parker´s head and gently laid back in his bassinette. 

The door opened, and I didn´t even have to turn around to know who it was.  I knew that when I didn’t immediately respond to my mother´s text, she would send my father looking for me.  A strong hand gripped my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.  “I´m sorry son, but it´s time,” he whispered solemnly. 

Even though he didn´t agree with my actions, he was still my father. 

And when I hurt, simply put, he hurt too!

Leaning down one last time, I brushed my lips against his cheek.  “I love you son, be a good boy for mommy and sissy tonight.  I´ll see you soon,” I promised, praying that it was one I could keep.  “I hope...”  Unable to stomach the look of pity that was sure to be in my father´s eyes, I turned and walked out of the room without so much as sparing him a backward glance.