You've done a great job here of making their manipulation of Bella obvious to the reader without it being ridiculous that she's unaware of it herself. Can't wait to see inside their heads and how they justify this behavior...

Ugh, Edward, you complete douche bag!

This is about the fourth fic I've read that laments the complicated rules of baseball. I'm starting to think I'm a total freak for finding baseball perfectly simple but finding football brain-numbingly confusing.

I feel badly for Rosalie here. It's hard to watch an ex move on and thrive when you're stagnating.

Yeah, he loved her so much that he bothered to call her or come find her. Oh, wait, no, he didn't. He sat on his dead ass and moped like a loser. You can do better, Bella!

Poor thing. Just because she's smart doesn't mean she can handle life dumping on her all the time. She's still a kid.

Ha! She should have told Carlisle she had enough to BUY NYU!

Is Carlisle the only doctor in the state? Why can't she just go to the campus infirmary?

Grr. I know you need to show their immature and impulsive sides, but it can be so frustrating! Wise up, kids!

Holy hell, I can't believe he had the gall to put his name on the birth certificate. I would have torn it up and demanded a new one on the spot. He is unbelievable!

If anyone from the health department is reading your work, I think you just gave them a stroke. :P

He really needs to apologize for basically accusing her of cheating. That was low, and the fact that he thinks he knew what was going on by staring through a goddamned window proves he's mentally challenged.

I actually think that Bella isn't upset ENOUGH and Rose is letting Emmett off way too easy. The entire foundation of their relationships was a challenge to mistreat them--yes, them. Jasper may not have bet against Alice directly and nor did Emmett against Rose, but their complicity speaks to their opinion of women in general. The fact that they called it off means little. A good man would never dream of doing such a thiing in the first place.

God luck with your ten million pages of homework!

These two are a damned riot. I would love to hang out with people like this.

Excellent! It's great to see a Bella that stands up for herself and says "No more" when it comes to Edward's bullshit. So many stories let him do whatever he wants while she stands around like a good little mannequin.

I'd love to see this in EPOV, just to figure out what the heck the douche is thinking.

These people are fucking insane! All of them!

It's funny to hear that people were reminded of The Matrix, because that never crossed my mind. I was thinking of the White Room in Wolfram & Hart, on the show Angel.

Hmm. Wonder if Edward is tapping Bella's shield in order to hide minds from himself? I know she could help him with that in canon, but since she seems to know nothing of her powers here, it's more like a hijack on his part. Nifty.

Amen to Agatha Christie. Witness for the Prosecution is, IMO, one of the most ingenious crime stories ever written. I've seen the idea copied in everything from shampoo commercials to Boston Legal.

I don't care how many people say it--when I get wet and cold, I get sick. End of story. Anecdotal evidence may not be scientific, but cause and effect doesn't lie.

Edward lecturing her about "railroad personnel" had me roaring in laughter! THis is great.

Your research for this story is immaculate. It is so easy to read through this and forget what lengths you have to go through to make this come across the way it does.

I would have voted for you if I caught the deadline, dang!

Edward, you are a whiny emo douche.

momatu, it is so cool that you researched old weather. I've already been impressed with your research skills in this story, but now you're on a whole new pedestal of awesome.

*jaw drop*

*crickets*

The thought of Bella worrying about a SWAT team makes my head spin...would they show up right after the stuff was stolen during his time, or during her time? They figured out that time moved differently between them, right? So technically they could've shown up before she even sent the space photo in the first place. *brain explodes*

I love her thought process here. I think it's completely realistic--the frantic jumping around from idea to idea, the justifications, everything. And the zombie thing is friggin' priceless!

Hee hee! I was so sure she was going to correctly middle name him, and the gig would be up!

You are ENTIRELY to blame for my sudden desperate craving for French toast. The local diner does a great crispy FT dish with fresh peaches, and now I simply must have it. My diet does not thank you. :p

Stay safe and batten down the hatches! Time for me to do the same.

Happy sigh.

All voted! There's also only three days left to vote for the Season of our Discontent 2 contest, so don't forget that too.

No, reproducing is not what every woman wants. Good lord. Is Bella really that ignorant?

Thinking of my brother-in-law sticking his filthy paws in my business as I give birth is enough to make me projectile vomit. Switching doctors PRONTO is a good idea, Bella. How could her man tolerate his own brother knowing everything about her privates? Gross.

Edward needs therapy. Pummeling a hotel employee for being startled by a nearly-naked woman is insane. Have to admit I judge Bella for finding it attractive. Of course, their dysfunction is all part of the fun.

Oy, naughty Renee! For shame, woman!

Ok, grown-up female going on tour for her profession? Not risky or weird. Back the eff off, creepy older brother.

This was fun! The first-person POV seemed a bit self conscious, but that just be first story jitters. I'd love to see these characters again if you're up for expanding this past a one-shot.

A "carrier" is a case that holds something. A "career" is a profession. Just thought I'd mention it because spell check can't catch homonyms and the like.

Nifty concept!

Alternate ending pretty pretty please!

At this point, Bella would be smart to start her own quiet stock buy-up and get Edward the easily-persuaded douche nozzle the hell OUT of her company!

Tee hee! I speak slurred pass-out, and that was totally "Edward, love you so much". *pumps fist*

So Bella calls her best friend a slang word for semen? Dayum, who needs enemies?

Man fucks girlfriend loudly and repeatedly while charge is in the house. Charge may or may not have had sex, so man calls charge a whore.

Bella deserves better than this hypocritical twatwaffle.

Yeah, Jane's gotta die.

I think your mention of 9/11 was totally appropriate and fit in seamlessly. Having them in NYC on the decade anniversary and being oblivious to it would have been odd.

So sad. :(

Love this concept, and it would totally work as an extended story. I can see him making her nuts over many chapters with that multiple personality display.

Edward was really unfair! He approached her, made the assumption--and he gets to be all righteous and indignant, flipping out on her and blackmailing her, then saying she "owes" him? Why is being a lawyer and a hooker so much worse than being a lawyer and soliciting a hooker? Both get prosecuted. Hmph. Jerk.

Other than his hypocrisy, this is a really sweet and well-paced story. Me likey.

I'm totally picturing her swirling around a library on a rolling ladder and singing, a la Beauty and the Beast.

I'm a halfway decent cook, but I hve no clue what lasagna leaves are. Is that what you call the noodles? Or is it one of the spices you'd use, like oregano or basil?

A seven-year-old crooning like an R&B singer cracks my shit up!

I was so freaking confused when that scene was over. Did she make it up, or did the people writing the movie just totally not give a shit about basic canon principles? ARGH!