Membership status: Member
Bio:
Hi,
My name is Jane and I'm a 44 year old single mum from Manchester in the UK. I'm a stay at home mum at the moment but I'm looking for a job, need to pay the bills. I discovered Twilight when the film came out and everyone was raving about the books. The books weren't well known in the UK at all, in fact, you may have found it difficult to find them at all, the film fuelled their popularity. Anyway, I bought the books for my daughter who wanted to know what all the fuss was about. That was 4 years ago and she's never read the books, not one word...I can hear you all gasping in disbelief...I however, devoured them. I couldn't get enough, completely absorbed was an understatement it was the best diet I've been on. I was so consumed by these characters the bare minimum of housework was done, my daughter reminded me every day that she was hungry and I needed to feed her, laundry was done at the last possible moment and the ironing got done on a need to wear basis...my obsession was born.
I'm Team Edward, always have been and always will be but Jasper owns a place in my heart too. After reading the books countless times I found both FanFiction and Twilighted through Twitter, some ladies on there were rec'ing some fics and my curiosity got the better of me. One of the first fics I read was Master of the Universe and I'm sure you've all read that one too, another one was Clipped Wings and Inked Armour, another amazing story and thus began my second obsession. I can't get enough, I'm on both sites every day unless the 'puter breaks then I go into withdrawal. Twilighted feeds my need for RP Fics mainly Rob and Jackson, some Kellan works it's way in there too but I read all types. I love slash and polyamorous stories and I've found that you find more of those on here. I've started to write a story myself, the characters popped into my head one day and now they won't leave me alone. I'm not sure that I'm a good enough writer that I'd ever put it out there for others to read, at the moment I'm just enjoying writing it for me.
So that's me, feel free to ask my anything you want to know, you can follow me on Twitter @Janeybo send a request and I'll follow you back, I usually drop in there every day at some point, sometimes I just lurk other times I'll spout complete nonsense, I don't think my followers realise that Janeybo and Robsblueeyes are one and the same person. All the Robporn on there keeps me busy and of course there's 100 Monkeys, Kellan and Peter Facinelli. I'm beginning to think this all might be taking over my life slightly...what life I hear you all cry...ah well, you have to have some pleasures don't you? I may even say it's a guilty one, my daughter would die of shame if she knew all this. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Jane x
TWITTER - @Janeybo
It was just a long weekend in Vegas, so how did eighteen year old high school senior Bella Swan end up married to thirty one year old movie exec, Edward Cullen? This is the story of their awkward life.
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama, Erotica, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Can't wait for an update, To Read (Geddy), Lilyellacullens want to read list!, J's Read and Loved Stories, Stories I've read, My favs past present and future , Read & Enjoyed
Chapters: 35 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 118398 Read Count: 324331
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - Our Mess
Wow! I love that ring. I want one, lol. Awww, they're both sad at the thought of not being together, I hope one of them speaks up soon. Will Renee give them a mouthful? Will she be of the opinion, you made your bed now lie in it?
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 - Our Predicament
Yep, you made your bed now lie in it, lol. Renee was so quick to tell Edward Bella would be going home with him and she'd send her things, I couldn't stop laughing even though Bella feels she's been sold for two sheep, hahahaha!! Oh God.......breathe.
They have a steep learning curve in front of them. I'm now imagining Edward introducing his wife and telling everyone she's in high school. Bwahahahaha!
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6 - Our Trip Home
One day at a time, a good place to start. This will be really hard on Bella, starting from scratch when only a few days ago she thought she'd be going back to her 18 year old life in Phoenix.
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 - Our Home
Okay, it's official, my bag's packed and I'm moving in with Edward, lol. Edward and Esme are like big kids, appearing out of nowhere and then fighting over the phone, hahaha!! I get the feeling that even though there'll be ups and downs, getting to know each other is going to be so much fun.
I love this story.
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 - Our First Night
Awww, they're just so hot and lovely together. Everything will work itself out in time. I hope they can keep the paps at bay though.
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 - Our Name
I love Alice and the way she looks after Edward. Lol, Bella was so shocked at seeing all those movie posters of Edwards, now I know why Edward was telling Carlisle that Bella didn't have a clue who he was. Now will Carlisle fall for Bella's charms or is he going to be the fly in the ointment?
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10 - Our Family
Carlisle said some awful things to his brother, I hope that Esme can talk some sense into him. He doesn't have to love Bella straightaway but he does have to be at least civil to her and give her a chance to prove herself and Edward a chance to show him that they are soul mates.
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11 - Our Desire
Contraception Bella!!!!! Oh my God has she forgotten this one thing that she remembered the day before when speaking to her mum? She was worried about being married at 18 and still in high school, well what about being married at 18, still in high school and pregnant? Talk about all or nothing. We've seen that Edward loves kids and Bella does too, but do they really want their own little rugrat 40 weeks and 1 day after their wedding? I would have thought they'd like more time to get to know each other and that Bella might actually want to go to and finish college. So again, CONTRACEPTION BELLA!!!!
I realise this isn't just Bella's responsibility and with Edward's past you'd have thought he might have asked but then he is a guy and he's not the one that will have to carry a baby for nine months and then push it out of that very small opening, lol. *eyes watering at the memory*
I thought Alice's speech was very apt and I like that way that Bella can see what's happened from others points of view. Lol, Edward fell off the running machine at the sight of his wife in a bikini, all dripping wet, hahahahaha!!
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 - Our First Argument
Three weeks eh? Well if she's not pregnant by then I think she should use some contraception and at least finish high school. I like that Edward didn't freak and that he wants a family. He's probably more open and ready for it being older but I think Bella should give it some very careful thought, like she said it's a decision that could alter her life forever.
Eric's so funny, such a drama queen. Will he visit soon?
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13 - Our Full Garage
So is the decision made for Bella? Fate didn't make her pregnant will she see this as a sign that now is not the right time or will she continue with her and Edward's game of Russian Roulette? Hmmm.
What will be her story at school? I take it that she's not going to be telling her new friends she's married right of the bat or who she's married to.
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14 - My First Day
Well oh my God! I never expected Carlisle to be teaching at the school. I know Esme's trying to get them to get to know each other but you really can't force something like this. This could serriously have put Bella on the back foot but luckily she rose to the challenge and shot Carlisle down in flames, but then this could just anger him more, he might feel that she was trying to make a fool out of him. Families....who'd have 'em? Lol.
I'm liking Charlotte, she seems nice and I'm wondering if Bella feels a little bit bad for lying to her and whether she'll come clean? Emily seems stuck up and out for what she can get, not a genuine person at all.
Jane x
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15 - Our Binding Reunion
So Edward's a bit of a Dom. Can you be a bit of a Dom or is it and all or nothing type deal? Lol. Doesn't really matter Bella loved it and so did I, that was effin hot, phew! I thought Edward had seen her uniform, but obviously not.
Will Bella tell Edward that she's going to tell Charlotte about them? Bella's right she does have to off load on someone and she needs friends her own age to do that with and also to have fun with.
Jane x
Date: 01 Aug 2012 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 - My Confidant
Lol, Edward is such a dirty perv, I effin love him.
I'm glad that things went well with Charlotte for Bella everyone needs a good friend. Who is her dad anyway?
Jane x
Date: 01 Aug 2012 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17 - Our Cheesy Quotes
Who knew that cookies could provoke such feelings, lol. It doesn't matter how old men get once they get together they always revert to being little boys, hahahaha! Bella likes Emmett even though he nearly scared her witless.
I get the feeling that Edward and Bella are getting close to their 'I love you's' they're certainly getting to know each other a lot more definitely getting closer.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's so hard to go through a loved ones possessions, bittersweet hearing all the stories and memories attached. I hope, eventually, that you can take comfort in those stories and memories and know that your grandmother loved you and still does, she'll be watching over you.
Jane x
Date: 18 Aug 2012 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18 - His Life
I'm so glad that Edward put Maggie in her place and gave her her marching orders. It does seem like they're always being interrupted, I think Edward needs to put some boundaries in place for when he's at home with Bella and not supposed to be working. Now he's married people shouldn't expect to be able to come and go like they did when he was single.
Loved this chapter and I'm looking forward to the next.
Jane x
Date: 27 Sep 2012 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19 - Our Family Expanded?
Poor Bella getting flu. Maggie has no shame at all, throwing herself at Edward. I think he's going to need to get a bit tougher on her. It looks like Bella's school is going to be gossip central for a while. Imagine what they would have been like if she was pregnant. I'm glad that she isn't, I can understand her feeling both relief and sadness when she found out but I think she should at least finish high school first.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Jane x
Date: 16 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20 - My Confessions
Hmm, I'm thinking that Damian suspects Bella is not Edward's sister, lol. Surely Edward wouldn't be that angry at her being photographed, it was completely out of her control. I'm glad Carlisle's making more of an effort and warned Bella about Maggie although I think she'd worked that out for herself. I'd have effin killed her by now keep walking in the house whenever she feels like it, especially when she walked in on them having sex. Who's helpling her get in? They need to be fired.
I loved Eric's visit they has so much fun and oh my God, his reaction to Edward was classic, hahahaha!! How funny is Charlie 'You two are being safe, right?' Bwahahaha. I can't wait until he meets Edward.
Jane x
Date: 30 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21 - Our Awkward Thanksgiving
Lol, I couldn't write it but I'd have her killed in an 'oh so unfortunate and tragic accident' involving those big heavy iron gates at the driveway to Edward's house, squished like a bug, mwahahahahaha!!!
Trust Charlie to get to the root of a problem, at least he didn't keep going on about it once Edward told him why he didn't speak to his parents. What kind of Dad does that? Did he have absolutely no conscience at all about making his son a drug addict just so he could earn him more money? I don't blame Edward for having nothing to do with him.
Ari's so cute with her Ehwar, awww. Edward will spoil his own little princess rotten whenever they have one.
Jane x
Date: 08 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22 - Our Bear and the Diva
"Season Finale" as in there will be a Season Two or "Season Finale" as in Fin, The End, no more?????
Edward deserved that. He may be busy and bogged down with problems but there's no need to take it out on Bella. A thirty year old would have a problem with the way he's been never mind an eighteen year old. Talk about double standards, just because of his high powered job it's okay for him to cancel plans at the last minute but not for Bella to be little late home for school. He needs to have a word with himself and start treating Bella like his wife and not a child. She did not deserve any of the things he said or the way he's been treating her.
Jane x
Date: 08 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23 - Our Cracks
Oh dear, things are just going from bad to worse. They really need to sit and talk properly. They both have valid concerns but this tit for tat is getting them nowhere. Edward can't keep ordering Bella around and Bella can't keep being in a strop when they have the chance to talk. I hope they can sort this out soon otherwise Maggie will be rubbing her hands together.
Jane x
Date: 09 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 24 - Our Downfall
I hope they do talk. I can't believe he put her to bed and didn't stay, the one time he really needed to. Where did he go? Edward's being such an arsehole and his treatment of Bella is turning into the petulant child he wants her to stop being. God I could slap him!
Jane x
Date: 10 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25 - Our End?
Edward talks about his vision of what he wants and that Bella is it. He asked what she felt for Edward, the man and Bella told him he was wonderful, she'd already told him previously that she loves him The question is what does Edward feel for Bella? He's so wrapped up in his job and keeping Bella away from the paps that he's losing sight of their relationship. He has a wife but really that's in name only, he's too wrapped up in everything else for Bella to be anything else to him.
I don't understand why he's only now going to de-activate all the passes to the house, he should have done that long ago. What did Maggie mean when she said, how can you concentrate without getting it out? Get what out? I'm so glad that Bella punched her one, I wish she'd done more.
As much as I don't think you should run from your problems, I can understand why Bella feels she needs for distance to get everything into perspective. I think she's playing right into Maggie's hands and leaving a very vulnerable Edward behind. I hope he can give Bella a few days to get her breathing space and for him to realise just what Bella means to him and how he feels about her, then I hope he goes after her. They need to talk and to do that properly they need to be together.
Please make them happy again. Edward may be the person in this relationship with a powerful job and wealth but Bella's the stronger of the two of them. Edward really needs her, but does he truly realise how much?
Jane x
Date: 09 Dec 2012 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter 26 - His Lonliness
What a turnaround from Carlisle. I'm so glad he gave it to Edward straight, it seems that he would be the only one to make him see sense. Now it's time for some epic grovelling and, as much as I want them back together, I hope Bella makes it really hard for him, she deserves better than the way he's been treating her.
Jane x
Date: 19 Dec 2012 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27 - Our First Christmas
Well thank God for that, I don't think I could've stood much more of them both acting emo all over the place, lol. I'm so glad they talked and that Bella's not just throwing her marriage away, they do need time to get to know each other and hopefully this time over Christmas will help them with that. Edward needs to keep his promises though. I can't wait to find out what they're going to do about Maggie and what Sam's come up with as well.
Jane x
Date: 15 Apr 2013 Title: Chapter 31: Chapter 31 - His Parents
Edward's Dad is vile and I don't ever think there'll be a reunion with him at all. I'm not that keen on his Mum purely for the fact that Edward stated, she never stopped what was happening to him and sided with her husband. That's a major betrayal to come to terms with and forgive. I think Bella gave him food for thought though. Music class was insane, all those questions, I'm glad Bella stood up and had her say, she's becoming a lot more comfortable with her surroundings.
Jane x
Date: 01 Aug 2013 Title: Chapter 33: Chapter 33 - Our D-Day
Hahahahaha!! I loved Bella's reaction to being pointed out in the audience at the awards, lol, I think I would have been under the seat if it were possible. I think that went perfectly for the both of them but Bella's right to be wary, there are going to be some very unhappy and jealous people out there that will be quick to give their opinions and start rumours and lies. Edward was right that she shouldn't read, watch or listen to anything about the two of them, sometimes though that's easier said than done. I just hope their bubble is burst too quickly.
Jane x
Date: 01 Aug 2013 Title: Chapter 34: Chapter 34 - Our Fallout
I'm glad that Bella was able to make everything right with her friends. All those girls are so jealous, it's going to take a good while for some of them to get over themselves. There's no excuse for how Felix reacted and that note he sent her, he's obviously bitter that he's not going to get his chance with Bella. I hope none of these kids turn psycho on them.
Jane x
Date: 03 Nov 2013 Title: Chapter 35: Chapter 35 - Our Vacation
Oh wow, a holiday, I want to go to, lol. I'm glad Bella fought back when she was trying to buy her snack, what these paps get up to is ridiculous. Now what I really want to know is will Edward make Bella walk the plank? Hahahaha, or even vice versa. With Edward wanting to keep Bella's school uniform maybe he has a pirate fantasy, let's just hope he doesn't have a Titanic fantasy although, that could lead nicely into a shipwrecked fantasy but let's not go down the Lost route. Oh my God, what have you done to me? Lol. I can't wait for more, I've missed this story.
Jane x
Revised April 2012: Bella Swan is a wallflower. Quiet and shy but with a secret lurking within her soul. Will her new professor and his TA be the ones to discover her secret and what will she think when she discovers theirs? Lemons galore. POLY B/E/J
Categories: Non-Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward/Jasper
Genre: Angst, Erotica, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Love to drive's Stories to read set 2, Stories Read by CNYBella, Read & Enjoyed
Chapters: 46 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 69591 Read Count: 158449
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 2: First Day
Well! Angela Weber, I'm shocked at her blatant sexual display and her a Pastor's daughter, shame on her......BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It's always the quiet ones, lol.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 36: Doubling Up
I don't think that Jasper can deny to either Edward or Bella that this is something more for him now. I really don't think he could let her out of his life now, he's really fallen for her.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 46: In Clear Sight
Gah!! I'm all caught up and you've left me on a cliff, teetering on the edge. I know you have no schedule for posting and it's just 'as and when' so all I will say is, this is a brilliant story and I can't wait to find out what happens so I really hope that 'as and when' is soon, lol. In the meantime I'll make myself comfy on the cliff edge.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 45: Life Goes On
Ooooh, this has more twists and turns than a......than a.......wizard's wand, lol.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 44: Another Brick in the Wall
Oh my God!! Penny dropping, do you hear it, lol. Alec as in best friend Alec as in Emmett's Alec?? They have to be one and the same, I'd forgotten about his best friend, how slow am I, lol. Edward's headed to a bar will he meet him again? Who's Claire?
Can Jasper and Bella get past this? I hope so. What will Edward do now?
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Meet Dr. Cullen
Quite the unusual elimination process Dr Cullen's got going on there, lol. I take it that his 'wingman' is on his way. It sounds as though they're all going to be in for a surprise. I can't wait to see what happens.
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 3: What Dreams May Come, Part 1
Jasper's about to lose his 'v' card then and be initiated Cullen style into the world of non vanilla sex I take it, lol. Alice made me laugh with her 'icky, yuck, yuck' lol, maybe she'll learn it's one of the best things ever.
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 4: What Dreams May Come, Part 2
Wow! I wonder if Jasper fully realised what he was getting his horny 14 year old arse into when Edward said he wanted him as his wingman. If that was your first experience, vanilla would definitely be boring, lol. How long had Edward been planning this?
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 5: Jasper's Plans
Hmmm, so what Edward and Jasper get up to is no real big secret. I'm sure if Jasper really didn't want to play this game any longer that he'd finally find the balls to say so. It sounds as though Jasper's looking for a relationship from what he's said and maybe Bella's the girl for him, maybe she'll be the one to make Edward commit and stop playing the game.
Poor Sam, it was so sad about Emily, he's going to be bereft all over again when Jake goes to that great big clover meadow in the sky. Awwww.
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 6: Game...
So maybe not so vanilla anymore then Alice. Is she thinking that if she seduces Jasper he won't go? Jasper's right, we learn by example and I think that both of them have been ignored by their parents on some level. It does seem that Jasper may have had more affection given to him growing up than Edward did but they've definitely both looked to each other to provide what's missing.
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 7: Set...
Lol, Alice is getting what she wished for. Is it better than she ever could have imagined? I think so. Alice is finding her kink, how will she cope with Jasper leaving now?
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 8: Match
I don't think Jasper should add Alice to his 'used and abused' list. Alice was the one that came on to him, childishly thinking that if she had sex the way Jasper wanted it he would stay. As she totally planned this, she should have prepared herself for the probability that it was just going to be a goodbye fuck and if anything else came from it it would be a bonus. I think she was a very silly girl to think anything else.
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 9: Restless Memories
Where's the disaster? Is that yet to come......too soon......maybe? Bwahahaha. That's definitely some experience for your first time and at twelve too, oh my God! I'm not sure that anything would compare after that, unless of course Edward completely embarrassed himself.
I felt sure that Jasper had got some affection from his parents when he was growing up, obviously got that wrong.
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 10: Innocence Lost
Edward's experiences explain why he's shut himself off from his feelings. It's sad that he feels he's a sexual deviant. At what point do we turn from being sexual beings to deviants? Who draws that line? Is it just a personal one? Of course there are those activities that are just unacceptable to all of society, I would call them sick, detestable and perverse. I think the answer to who draws the line is the individuals concerned in the consensual act. One person may think anal sex is a deviant practice whilst another sees it as a complete and utter joy. Edward is being too hard on himself by labelling himself as a sexual deviant.
With a lack of experience and no safeguards in place Jane and Makenna paid the ultimate price for their sexual experimentation. Should they be labelled as deviants? Some will, some won't and although, personally, I would never venture into that realm I wouldn't call them deviants. It's so sad that a town couldn't leave it alone and let the family grieve for their loss.
Okay, I'm off my soap box now, lol.
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 11: Together Again
Jasper's arrived and Edward already feels better. Is Jasper as dependent on Edward as Edward is on him?
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 12: Frustrations
We go from two men whose parents couldn't care less about them to a woman whose parents love her and want to protect her. In that respect they couldn't be more different, but then little Miss Bella is a bit of an exhibitionist just like Edward and Jasper, now is she into voyeurism like they are?
Please tell me that Bella's living in the same place as Jasper, it sounded like it to me, lol. She's not the innocent girl Edward has pegged her for.
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 13: Group Project
Inchworm dick....bwahahahahaha!! I'm glad Bella's made a friend, she needs someone outside of college.
How devious of Dr Cullen adding polygamy on at the end, not being suggestive at all, lol. Is it all part of the game for him to be really curt with Bella?
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 14: The Bone
I knew they'd be neighbours. Bella's definitely and exhibitionist and as Jasper's realised a bit more kinky and less innocent than they thought, lol. I can't wait for him to tell Edward.
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 15: Confessions
Lol, Jasper's such a voyeur. These three are so kinkily suited to each other. I can't wait to see how they put the game into action. Will Edward keep seeing Angela throughout this?
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 16: Miss Innocent
In some ways Bella's quite naive and she seems to have been sheltered from the outside world. I can't believe she's never met a gay man before and this is the first drink she's ever had. I know she said she's never been the bad girl but I would have expected her to at least have had one drink before she was twenty one, lol. Just imagine what Bella could have turned out like it Charlie and Renee had been liberal parents......my mind is boggling with all the possibilities, hahaaha!!
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 17: Rosalie's Story
Lol, that got Bella's attention.
Rosalie and Emmett certainly have had some rough times. What's that saying? Misery loves company. I'm not sure if that's right or if I'm interpreting it right but it really did when Royce found Rose. I'm so glad that she found Emmett again and he helped her get away and get her life back. They've both done so well for themselves, I love it when something bad turns into something good.
Jane x
Date: 11 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 18: Firsts
Lol, Bella's acquiring friends left, right and centre and telling all about her past, private life and fantasies. I'm glued to my seat and screen, lol.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 19: Cherry Poppin'
Oh my God! Bwahahahaha!! Poor Bella. I know we all fear the pain but if you're going to lose your viginity you want to know that fuckers well and truly gone, not just a little bit broken. Bella was very charitable not dumping Mike's arse after that. I'm sorry but I couldn't put up with an inchworm dick, lol.
Ooooh, is Bella going to find her inner lesbian? Rose certainly got her all worked up. Hmmm, what would Edward and Jasper think?
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 20: Naughty Birdie
Oh my God!! Part of her fantasy is coming true but did she get more than she bargained for? Rose, Emmett and Alec are going to die when they hear about this........well, I'm assuming that she'll tell at least Rose. She will, won't she?
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 21: Biding Time
These two are like a pair of kids on Christmas Eve, lol. So Edward doesn't mean to be short with Bella he's just pissed off that Jasper's getting to see all the action and touch her first.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 22: Surprise
Surprise indeed, lol. It looks like Ms Swan is going to make them work for this, lol. I have a picture in my head of a deer caught in the headlights and I'm thinking that's how Bella looked when she realised she had company. I'm kind of feeling sorry for her but not too much, I mean she does get off on the thrill of possibly being caught. What's her next move going to be? What's their next move going to be?
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 23: Research Proposal
Lol, she didn't make them work too hard for that did she. I wonder if Edward is thinking the same thing as Jasper about this possibly being more than a conquest and a casual fuck or whether he's yet to catch up to him.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 24: Making the Grade
I hope Bella won't be getting high marks on her assignment purely for her sexual prowess. I don't think Bella would find that acceptable. I hope they drop the Dr and Ms crap soon, it's a bit distracting, lol. God they're all so hot together and Bella finally gets to experience a real mans cock, bwahahaha!!
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 25: Two's Company, Three's a Fantasy
Bella's wrong, it's more for Jasper and for her. It's just fucking for Edward at the moment, I'm sure he'll catch up eventually. Will she tell them about her lack of experience and Mike's little dick?
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 26: The Fantasy Continues
Interesting has got to be an understatement. Holy shit that was so effin hot, I'm wishing I could be Bella at this moment in time, lol. I'd say she's been ruined for anyone else now so Edward and Jasper have to keep her.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 27: After
Ooooh, that was awkward. Trouble is, of course, Bella doesn't know they're playing a game and this will only confuse her. Jasper's heart really isn't into playing the game any longer and that's what, I think, Edward could sense, that Jasper was different than usual and then we have Edward who's totally all about playing the game. As fuck hot as the sex is, this is one huge recipe for disaster. Who'll be the first one to cave and say what they actually want?
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 28: What Now?
Hmmm, it sounds as though the thought of Edward getting a bit of one on one time with Bella doesn't sit well with Jasper. I wonder what Bella will think about it and whether she'll see Jasper's absence in class as a further rejection of her.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 29: Eyes Wide Shut
Bella's certainly put the cat amongst the pigeons for Jasper and Edward, Jasper more so at the moment, we'll have to see about Edward later, lol. Peter and Charlotte seem like they could become good friends to Jasper.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 30: Decisions
Edward's definitely slipping but he's such an anal control freak. Every part of his life is ordered and planned. I think he uses this to protect himself from committing to a relationship, he's using protecting Jasper as an excuse. Bella's already chipping away at his wall, it's only a matter of time before she makes a hole big enough to get through. I honestly think that with the situation they find themselves in now, it's going to take Bella to lay her cards on the table, once she finally realises that it's both of them that she wants.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 31: Are You Amiable?
Has Bella thought anymore about the submissive side of her nature? It strikes me that both Edward or Jasper could talk her into anything. Will this make her feel more used by them? I know this is strange, after everything they've already done, but this time with Edward would definitely make me feel used, I'd feel as though I was a toy being passed from one person to the next.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 32: Chastity
Oh my God a chastity belt! He really is evil. She'll be ripping their clothes off later when she sees them.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 33: Cracks in the Armor
Things are starting to change more for these three now. I'm glad that Edward has ended his arrangement with Angela, she could still end up being a bitch to Bella though, she may think it's all her fault. Edward will have a fit if Jasper is honest with Bella but then it might just force Bella to reveal that she's been thinking that she'd like both of them. So many ways this could go, lol.
Emmett and Rose would have loved to have had parents like Peter and Charlotte. In my little happy world I can see them all becoming one big family, Alec included. Lol.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 34: Appointments
Lol, is Bella walking like a duck? Everyone seems to be getting really confused with what's going on and what they're feeling. I say they should just all be straight with each other but knowing Edward he'll blow his top and it will ruin the game for him. He'll then have to take a long hard look at himself and decide what he wants from his life and I'm really not sure if he's ready for that yet, although it did cross his mind to push Jasper out of the game and keep Bella from himself, such a loyal man, lol. If they are honest Bella's going to be angry that she's been played right from the beginning even though it did cross her mind.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 35: Freedom
Why is it that Edward is always the one behind Bella? When they start playing Edward is always the one to support Bella whilst Jasper goes down on her. Does this have significance or am I reading too much into this? Is this how Edward maintains some of his distance so that he can still say this is a game?
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 37: Mad World
Light and dark, good and bad, Jasper and Edward. Bella's having a meltdown and I don't think they should ignore it and just pass it off as a bad dream.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 38: To Wrap or Not to Wrap
Lol, looks like Bella may just have made another new friend. Will Rose see what's going on with Bella?
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 39: New Girl In Town
Holy crap! Alice is working for Rose. Well I'm assuming it's Alice. Does she know who Bella is? Oh, the shit could really hit the fan now. What's she doing there? What's she thinking? Will she turn up at the club?
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 40: Sticks and Stones
Where did Edward, the master of control, go to? It seems that he may have had some sort of epiphany though and it just goes to show that you can't avoid your feelings forever.
"Have you lost yer cotton pickin' mind!" Lol, sorry but that line, out of context, is funny.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 41: Wake Up Call
Poor Bella her arse must feel red raw but it's the mental pain that will take longer to come to terms with and get over. I don't think Edward will be able to clean this mess up, he really could do with some help of the professional kind. His grip on his control has slipped and whatever he's kept burried is coming to the surface. There has to be more stuff that he needs to deal with besides what happened with Jane and Makenna.
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 42: Mea Culpa
Oooh, what's happening now? Who are Edward's surprise visitors?
Jane x
Date: 12 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 43: Consequences
Edward's life is well and truly falling to bits. He seriously underestimated Angela, but then so did I. Just goes to show that you can never predict what a jealous woman will do.
Will Bella really leave Jasper when they have their talk having just declared her love for him. She's totally forgotten about meeting Rose at the club, is she going to turn up at Bella's duplex?
Jane x
"The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys" unless you're Toyward...and you decide to share your toy box. When Jasper wanders into Edward's adult toy store...his life will never be the same. TrueEnglishRose/texasbella E/J
Also up for Best Humor in the Non-Canon Awards
Categories: Twilight, Non-Canon Pairings
Characters: Edward/Jasper (slash)
Genre: Erotica, Humor, Romance, Slash
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 26 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 46510 Read Count: 32440
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 25: Outtake #2 Jasper's Second Piercing
Bwahahahaha! No sex for six weeks, I can't believe they never thought about that, but then again Edward wasn't having sex when he had his done, lol. Awwww, boys, it'll be worth it in the end. Hahahaha!
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Lol, I think a squicked out Jasper needs to dump Maggie's arse before they get married, no 'sexual expert' is going to breathe life into that relationship besides it looks as though Jasper may have found someone better, ahem.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Maggie is so thick. She talks like a total moron putting 'like' into her sentences all the time. She obviously can't string enough words together without using that four letter word to form a proper sentence.
Edward already knows in ten minutes what she hasn't worked out in seven months. Why did Jasper propose or if Maggie proposed why did Jasper say yes? God, I can't get over how moronic she is, lol you could take the piss out of her something rotten and she wouldn't have a clue.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Bwahahahahaha! How glad am I that I don't have to wait for the update.
Jasper in Armani? Does he have a fabulous job or is he wealthy? Why does he feel he has no choice about this relationship with Maggie?
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Lol, Maggie's a moronic idiot, duh, does she not realise that she's used clit vibes so much that she's de-sensitised herself so that even the most powerful vibrator isn't going to get her off. She needs to do the worst thing she could ever imagine but Jasper would love...she needs to abstain *gasp* lol, she'd never do it. Anyway we all know that Jasper needs to dump her arse, even Edward said so and if Jasper's been brought up properly, which I suspect he has, he'll do as he's told, bwahahahaha!
I'm loving all these toys...real and imaginary. Think of the sqweeler, you should really go into toy design, you could make a fortune.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5
How rude of that customer to come in and spoil things for them when it was just getting good, lol.
Jasper really needs to get rid of Maggie. It's his life and if he doesn't want to get married then he shouldn't, he's going to be effin miserable with her.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6
Oh. My. God. Maggot (loved that auto corrected review) is a gold digging Barbie whore personified. If only Jasper, and his Mum, knew. Some people will do or put up with anything for money.
Edward really doesn't know how right he is about Maggot (I'm sorry but it's stuck in my head and every time I read the word Maggie it just makes me laugh and gets automatically replaced with Maggot). She must have a negative IQ to think that Edward likes her and not notice he's gay.
I'm glad that Jasper is finally thinking about ending it with Maggot. He could get Edward round to help him redecorate and they could have a celebratory bonfire with the satin sheets, lol.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7
Lol, at least Maggot's new toy is making her happy and keeping her away from Jasper. I think Jasper should just tell her the engagement's off and he's gay, lol, blunt and maybe a bit cruel but at least there's no room for any misunderstandings.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8
That was so effin hot. When the car door opened I thought Jasper was about to be arrested and there was Edward, lol. So things turned out better for Jasper than he thought. Surely now he has to go home and dump gold digging Maggot.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9
Oh my God that was hilarious. I can't believe that Snuffy would be such a slut as to use a sex toy in the shop, that's definitely grounds for dumping. Yeah, yeah, I know Jasper was caught out too if she really thinks about it, but still at least he did his fooling around in private.
On the upside for Maggot, I think she's found her next victim..erm, I mean boyfriend, lol.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10
Wow, Snuffy soon changed her tune when Eric spoke to her didn't she. She is so fickle, thick, fake...oh the list is endless but I really can't wait to see the back of this dim witted bimbo, as funny as she can be.
I've come to the conclusion that Eric's blind.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11
Well Jasper certainly did that in style, lol. I would loved to have seen Snuffy's face, lol, especially when Jasper was going on about her pubes, I imagine he was trying to say it was like an amazonian rainforest, bwahahahahaha!
Awww, I hope these two get back together soon.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12
Lol, Edward's as bad as Jasper. I love Emmett, he's as funny as the rest of them and as for not getting Rosie up the duff, maybe he needs to practice more, I mean that's the fun bit, lol.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13
Lol, Jasper's parents are funny and I'm so glad that slutty Maggie showed her true colours.
What has Emmett said to Jasper? I can't believe Edward threw his phone and smashed it, temper, temper, lol.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14
I do love the rash decisions of the drunk or the hungover, tattoo and eyebrow piercing. Tattoo, I get that and that's really hot, I've never been a fan of face metal though so the eyebrow piercing I'm thinking is more like a teenage rebel, lol. What's Edward going to think when he sees him? He's got a double or rather a triple surprise coming his way.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15
Thank God I don't have to wait for the update or I may be calling you ladies some names at this point, lol.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16
Oh my, that was hot, I'm running to the next chapter.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17
Road head, lol, Edward just couldn't wait could he, hahahahaha!
Will he be able to get Jasper out of trouble or is he just going to lead him into more? *snort*
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18
Oh my God you ladies did it again, you are the cockblocking queens and again I'm thankful not to have to wait for the update.
Awwww, they love each other. *happy sigh*
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19
These boys are moving forward really quickly, but then when you know what you want, why wait. Looks like Jasper's going to get to know Bella a lot more intimately, bwahahahaha!
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20
No romping in the woods then, shame. Lol, they shouldn't need toys yet, I mean they can't keep their hands off each other. Jasper's on his way to Greece then and there I was thinking it was going to be a holiday. What does Jasper do, besides Edward, anyway?
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21
Awwwww, indeed. These two are so hot together. Hadn't Edward been a busy boy setting up his surprise for Jasper. I think Emmett's going to milk all those favours he's going to owe him, lol.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22
Awww, they're getting married...now...wow, quick worker that Edward. Lol, I should have known it would be cock ring, after all they have to remain true to themselves.
I wonder what Snuffy will think of this when she hears about it? Ah, who cares she was just a gold digging trollop anyway, lol.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23
Awww, they're married and Rose turned up. Oh my God, only Emmett would turn up as the Matron of Honour, hahaha! What about Edward and Jasper's parents, aren't they going to be upset that they missed such an important occasion for the boys?
I'm looking froward to Greece.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 24: Outtake #1 The Stool
Stool sex...seemed like a good idea...got a bit ambtious...stool got wobbly...thank God they only broke the stool and not themselves...they had a big finish though, lol.
Jane x
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 26: Outtake #3 Never Squat With Your Spurs On
Oh my God, only Emmett could burst into a scene like that, hahaha! Yeehaw! Ride em cowboy. Lol.
I've really loved this story, it's so funny.
Jane x