Reviews by Hels
Summary: Past Featured Story

Bella gets sent to a school by her boyfriend to help her become the wife he wants. It isn't what Bella expects, at all.

BDSM, Dark story.

 

 

 

 


Categories: Non-Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human, Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Edward, Bella/Alice, Bella/Carlisle, Bella/Emmett, Bella/James, Bella/Jasper, Bella/Jasper/Alice, Bella/Rose, Carlisle/Esme, Carlisle/Other or Original Character, Edward/Bella/OC, Edward/Carlisle (Slash), Edward/Jasper (slash)
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: My To Read List, Ageise02's Read Stories, Finished, I Whitlock's read , My Favorite Stories, To Read
Chapters: 78 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 297603 Read Count: 1514819
[Report This] Published: 22 Jan 2010 Updated: 21 May 2010
Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 05 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 73: Chapter 72: Carlisle Day 23 & 24

Eek! I hope they can get to them soon. I'm glad questions are starting to be answered.

Summary: Past Featured Story

botm

Life in a maternity unit is full of ups and downs!  

Bella Swan, an experienced midwife at Forks Hospital meets the new obstetrician, Edward Cullen and the attraction is instant.

As their hands touched, she gasped softly as she felt the shock of electricity that seemed to pass through their skin.  Dropping his hand abruptly, her brown eyes wide in surprise, Bella stepped back.  Without volition, Bella felt her face flame with another cursed blush.  Damn, she was 26 years old.  When was she going to stop blushing like a schoolgirl?

 

A HUGE thank you to colorguard_girl for my new updated banner

All Human/Alternate Universe

fs


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Ageise02's not read yet, LeslieWhitlock's completed & recommended read stories, Amberina's Completed Favs List, Brooklyn - to read, luv2write finished reads
Chapters: 37 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 222356 Read Count: 85743
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2010 Updated: 10 Sep 2010
Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 10 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter 26

First of all I'm loving this fic. I hoped that Bella would fall pregnant and I'm so glad she did. I loved Renee when they visited her and can't wait to see some more of her.

As for this chapter, oh my god! All that extra security and he still managed to get in?!?! At least Victoria and Robbie don't have to worry about James now. I really hope Bella and the baby are ok.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 23 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27

I'm so glad Bella and the baby are ok. What a lovely present for Bella. I can't wait for the wedding.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 02 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 28: Chapter 28

Awww how cute! I like Jake and Victoria getting close, she needs a guy who will treat her right.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 17 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 29: Chapter 29

I'm so glad both Alice and Alyssa are nice and healthy and happy.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 03 May 2010 Title: Chapter 30: Chapter 30

I hope something starts between Jake and Victoria, she deserves someone who will look after her and Robbie. I hope you don't leave us waiting to long for the next chapter after that ending.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 10 May 2010 Title: Chapter 31: Chapter 31

Very well written and emotional chapter.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 15 May 2010 Title: Chapter 32: Chapter 32

Awww so glad everything went fine for Bella and baby Daniel.

Victim by tima Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 102]
Summary: Past Featured Story

victim

 

She once lived the life of luxury with her husband, James, but then he became abusive. With the help of an unlikely friend, she escapes James' abuse, becomes Bella Swan, and starts fresh in a new town. She meets a handsome young man named Edward who will help her heal, but will she ever fully get over the abuse she suffered? 

When James gets wind that his wife isn't dead, what lengths will he go to take back what he feels is his?

Rated for future sexy times, some scenes of violence, abuse, and cursing.

(loosely based on Sleeping with the Enemy, but with large differences, and a Twilight twist)

 

fs


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 31 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 166331 Read Count: 17131
[Report This] Published: 19 Feb 2010 Updated: 05 Nov 2011
Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 06 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 15: Family Ties

Great story, I'm hooked! I'm so glad Bella and Edward have found each other. I'm guessing it won't be long until James comes back into the story because things seem to be going so well for Bella at the moment that it can't last. Looking forward to the next chapter.



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you're hooked! That was my intent! (insert evil laugh here)

James will come along and spoil their fun, but not before they get even closer and things are even more fantastic for them...

Stay tuned...

And thanks for reading and reviewing!

~Fatima

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 31 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 16: Goodbyes

I wondered if it was a good idea to be taking all those pictures of Bella just in case James managed to get a glimpse of them so I'm glad Carlisle thought to give them the memory card. I can't wait for the next chapter and their weekend away.



Author's Response:

hehe I know, he thought of that just before leaving...their weekend away will be well-worth the wait!!

Stay tuned!!

~Fatima

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 15 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 17: A Weekend to Remember

What a great chapter. I'm so glad Bella and Edward found each other.



Author's Response:

Me too!! I'm happy to write such great characters!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

~Fatima

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 17 May 2010 Title: Chapter 18: Uh-Oh

I wondered if she could be pregnant when she first said that she hadn't been feeling well, looking forward to seeing if she is or not. But why did she go and send Carlisle and Esme a photo?!?! It just seems like such a bad idea considering James is still out there and thinks she's dead.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 08 Jul 2010 Title: Chapter 19: Inevitabilities

Oh yey another chapter! I'm so glad Bella and Edward are both happy about the baby. Oh no I knew Bella shouldn't have sent that photo.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 06 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 20: Christmas with the Cullens

I really panicked when the guy started calling for Marie in the restaurant, I was sure it was James just like Bella. Carlisle and Esme's present for Bella was lovely and seeing everyone so excited about Christmas, expecially Edward with his Santa hat and the antlers for Bolt, is sweet. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Summary: Past Featured Story

 

stories/7549/images/robert-pattinson-piano-2-vanity--2.jpg

Edward Cullen loves two things in this world: his twins Wendy and Car, and his tattoos.

Bella Swan is jaded by her husband, who left her three months pregnant. Now her daughter Lily is her entire world and she wears her love for Lily on her skin...

Can these two broken hearted people overcome their fears and come together?

Or are they both to stubborn?

stories/7549/images/3147353541_5234bc19ca-1-1.jpg 

stories/7549/images/Etched_title.gif

fs

 


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Amberina's Completed Favs List, Lady Luciole's Favorites TwiHu, Stories I've read
Chapters: 19 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 48082 Read Count: 108986
[Report This] Published: 20 Feb 2010 Updated: 29 Jun 2010
Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 24 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14

I'm loving your Inkward/Dadward! I love how close they've all become. Are either Heidi or James going to make an appearance? I can't help thinking everything is going so well that one of them is bound to turn up and start causing trouble. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 30 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17

I'm so happy that they're moving in together. Is marriage next for them?

Summary: Past Featured Story

 

Taking place in 17th century Europe, Princess Isabella, only daughter of King Charles I of Spain, faces her fate as her arranged marriage to Prince Edward, future King of England, approaches.  The Prince is known for his indiscriminate cavorting with the ladies of his land, leading the Princess to fear that she will suffer the same fate as her mother and many other queens before and since, to be trapped in a loveless marriage to an unfaithful husband.  Will Princess Isabella ever find happiness while bound to the fate of her birth? AH/OC/Eventual Lemons

 

 

Warning: This will be an NC17 story for later chapters.



Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Ageise02's not read yet, Finished, I Whitlock's read , Amberina's Completed Favs List, Completed Stories, Edwards Paradox Completed Favourites, Lilyellacullens want to read list!, J's Read and Loved Stories, mamih's favorites, TBR
Chapters: 30 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 92977 Read Count: 373213
[Report This] Published: 20 Feb 2010 Updated: 20 Jun 2010
Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 11 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 8: Bliss

Awww they found each other again! How embarrasing to have people there during your wedding night. Charlie's reaction was really unfair but at least everyone else is happy that Bella and Edward are happy. Looking forward to seeing Bella in the English court.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 15 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 9: Altering Plans

At least King Charles does seem to care about Bella even if he keeps it very very hidden. I'm glad Edward appreciates Bella's intellect and that Emmett gets to go with them. I hope Jessica's staying.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 22 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 11: A Foreign Shore

I'm glad Bella and Edward get a bit more of a honeymoon and I like how Carlisle's come up with a way to protect Spain and Italy. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 30 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 13: Presentation of Future Queen

Great chapter. I hope the women from Edward's past aren't going to cause a problem for Bella but I hope if they do she and Edward will be able to get through it together. I liked the secret code between them.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 04 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 14: The Demands of Duty

Carlisle's respect for Esme is lovely and it's so nice that he's passed that way of thinking on to Edward. I hope Bella and Edward and Alice and Jasper aren't separated for too long and that Edward, Jasper and Emmett come home safely long before Alice has the baby.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 12 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 15: Confidante

Hope your ankle is better soon. I'm glad Carlisle is able to see Bella's worth and wants her to get more involved. I hope Edward will be home soon.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 01 May 2010 Title: Chapter 18: The Brewing Storm

I'm glad Tanya's being sent away. I hope either Bella asks or Edward explains what he was doing all day otherwise she will just worry about it. Could Bella's news that she wanted to share with Edward be that she's pregnant? Her being sick and the comment about the chamber pot getting more use than normal made me wonder. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 03 May 2010 Title: Chapter 19: Aftermath

Yey I thought she was pregnant and I'm glad she spoke to Edward about her fears.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 10 May 2010 Title: Chapter 20: Banished

Great chapter. I'm glad Tanya's gone although will it be for long? Emmett and Rosalie were cute, I'm glad they've met. Can't wait to see the rest of the family's reaction to Edward and Bella's news.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 15 May 2010 Title: Chapter 21: Diplomacy and Alternative Forms of War

Another great chapter!

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 17 May 2010 Title: Chapter 22: A Snake Hiding in the Garden

Can't wait to see what Bella, Alice and Rosalie come up with. And poor Carlisle blaming himself.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 24 May 2010 Title: Chapter 23: Christmas Eve Surprises

Awww what a lovely surprise!

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 01 Jun 2010 Title: Chapter 24: Clandestine Meetings

I'm glad they've got Tanya and that Bella thought to let Edward know what was going on.

Summary: Past Featured Story

whacw

What happens at Charlie's wedding is hot and unforgettable for Bella Swan. Charlie's best man has her moaning and melting everywhere from her father's living room to the coat closet at the rehearsal dinner. But great no-strings-attached sex suddenly becomes complicated. And what will happen when Bella meets someone else who just happens to be the best man's son?

NC-17 All Human/OOC

fs

Sorry, but translantions on this fic are NO longer allowed.

 


Categories: Twilight, Non-Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Carlisle
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 19 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 112113 Read Count: 43565
[Report This] Published: 21 Feb 2010 Updated: 21 Apr 2010
Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 26 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15: Broken Promises

Wow! I wasn't sure about a Carlisle/Bella fic but I decided to give it a go and I'm so glad I did and I've read it all in a day. I loved the sneaking around Bella and Carlisle had to do in the beginning and Charlie's comments about hunting. I can't believe Edward knew all along. I really want everything to work out for Bella and Carlisle although that doesn't seem likely at the moment. Really looking forward to the next chapter.



Author's Response:

Thanks, I'm so glad you gave it a chance! I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, so to speak. The next chapter will be up soon, hopefully in the next few days.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 05 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16: Words of Wisdom

Edward PoV would be great. I'm so glad Carlisle had spoken to Charlie on the day of the wedding about his feelings for Bella. I loved Renee's reaction when Bella was telling her what had happened in Forks. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 12 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17: The Long Road To Healing

Great chapter! I felt so upset for Edward when he was telling Carlisle about his meeting with Kate. At least it's all out in the open now, Edward knows all about his mother and Carlisle knows that Edward was trying to seduce Bella to hurt him. I really hope Carlisle and Edward's relationship can begin to improve now. I really hope Bella and Carlisle can move past what happened and be happy together. Can't wait for the next chapter but on the other hand I don't want it because I don't want the story to end.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 22 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 19: Epilogue: 1095 Days Later

I'm so glad Bella and Carlisle worked things out and had their 'happy ever after'. I'm also glad that things between Carlisle and Edward worked out and that Edward found someone to be happy with as well. It was a great story.

Summary: Past Featured Story

Bella and Edward are happily engaged with their whole lives ahead of them. What happens when a tragedy strikes that will change them forever? AU, all human.


Categories: All Human
Characters: None
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 16 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 86164 Read Count: 6795
[Report This] Published: 03 Mar 2010 Updated: 06 Jul 2010
Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 25 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4--The Sun Doesn't Shine Forever

Such an emotional fic! I'm so glad he's waking up, I hope he's going to be ok. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 26 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5--Grace

Awww that was so sad. I really didn't like all that talk about how he wished he had died but hopefully Jasper's talk at the end really has made him see that he can't just give up. I love what Emmett and Elizabeth did to their hair so Edward wasn't alone.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 01 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6 It's Not My Time

Glad he's going home. Perhaps being in his own home instead of a hospital will help him feel better which will help motivate him with his therapy.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 09 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 Keeping Me Alive

Poor Edward!

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 16 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 Give Me Strength

I just hope that was a turning point for Edward and things can start looking up.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 23 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 Somewhere Only We Know

Oh no! Everything was going so well with Edward opening up more, and his surprise for Bella and setting a date for the wedding and now it looks like another setback. Please don't leave us waiting for the next chapter too long, I want to know if he's alright.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 02 May 2010 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10--Green Eyes

I'm glad he's not too down after this seizure, joking with Bella and Carlisle at least shows he isn't giving up.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 10 May 2010 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11--Falling Into Place

Yey he's walking! I'm really glad the fact that he's been forgetting things lately isn't too serious.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 15 May 2010 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 When It Rains

I loved Edward going to Renee's class to see the kids and it was lovely to see Rosalie and all the guys being there for Edward with the incidents in the parking lot and the baseball game.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 29 May 2010 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14 Dare You to Move

I wondered if Aro was sensing something about Edward's health. I'm glad Edward's fine and can't wait for the wedding.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 06 Jul 2010 Title: Chapter 16: Epilogue Blue Skies

Awww lovely ending to a great story. I'm so glad Edward and Bella got their happy ending.

Summary: Past Featured Story

Photobucket

When the disarmingly handsome Edward Masen turns up as a new patient, the life Dr. Isabella Swan has carefully put together will be shattered forever. What will it take to put the pieces back together again? What does it take to heal?

Many thanks to fuzzyltlwingedthing for the new banner!

 

fs


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Love to drive's Stories to read, Ageise02 To Read 2, Amberina's Completed Favs List, J's Read and Loved Stories, mamih's favorites
Chapters: 38 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 334239 Read Count: 64023
[Report This] Published: 27 May 2010 Updated: 07 Feb 2011
Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 07 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 10, Pt. II

Great story so far. Looking forward to reading more.

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 10 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 11

Looking forward to seeing them at the beach.

Parachute by KitsuShel Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 1971]
Summary: Past Featured Story

parachute

After finding a child abandoned on the streets of Seattle, Bella Swan raises him as her own. What happens to their lives when his biological family is finally found?

 

 

 

 

 


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Ageise02's Read Stories, Finished, My all time favorites, Drive's Stories to read that are Completed and Not completed, Lady Luciole's Favorites TwiHu, Stories I've Already read, My Favorite Stories, Misstoria's Stories to Read, J's Read and Loved Stories, My favs past present and future
Chapters: 38 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 145849 Read Count: 211499
[Report This] Published: 21 Jun 2010 Updated: 04 Feb 2011
Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 04 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 9

Great story so far and I can't wait for the next chapter.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your review! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story! I update every Friday and post teasers on Mondays. In fact, there is delicious little teaser, along with a Pic Tease, up on the Parachute Blog as we speak.

I have taken to calling you, my readers, "Verucas". A good number of you are so demanding and impatient, even though I update every week! It makes me feel so damned loved and I give you this moniker in adoration! You truly give me chills and warm my heart at the same time with every review you leave me! As you can tell from this message, I respond to every single review that is left for me because you guys rock my socks!

Parachute's 1000th reviewer On FFnet was given the option to choose the subject of one of the outtakes and she deferred the choice to my judgement, so I will continue to listen to ideas and then maybe post a poll to see what you guys as a whole would like to see. The 500th reviewers on Twilighted and here will also be extended the same deal, since I want no one to feel left out!

Oh, and one more thing! An awesome Veruca named Phoebe started Parachute a thread on the Twilighted Forum! The link is up on the blog if you need it! In addition, thanks to many of you, Parachute was named as FanFic Addicts Fic of the Month! Super-freaking-yay!

I love you guys something fierce and I hope this next chapter lives up to your expectations of the first Cullen meeting!

XoXo

Shel


O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O

Esme's gaze went back and forth between Bella and Jack. She could clearly see the love that wound between the two of them and a million questions started to swirl around her.

"How?" she asked, as tears started to trickle from her verdant eyes. "What happened? How did you find him? How long have you known we were his family?"  Both she and Carlisle looked at Bella expectantly.

"It's very long story," Bella chuckled, humorlessly. "Let me start at the beginning."

Bella started to tell the Cullen her tale, starting with finding Jack in the alley and taking him to the police station. She didn't get very far. They were interrupted with the sound of the front door opening and a loud voice calling out of the foyer.

"Mom! We're here!"

Bella felt something tighten in her stomach as she prepared to come face to face with Jack's father. Her nerves were at an all-time high and she briefly wondered if Dr. Cullen could prescribe her something to help prevent an ulcer from forming.

O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 07 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 10

Ooh I can't believe you finished the chapter there. I loved the Cullens' reactions to Bella and Jack, especially Esme's.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your review! For those of you who are new to the story, I update every Friday and post teasers on Mondays. The latest teases are up on the Blog (http://kitsushel.blogspot.com/) as we speak. I know everyone's excited about Edward finally showing up! I am too, lol! I love reading your reactions to the chapter and answering your questions!


<3  Shel

O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O


"I could have left him at that police station and let the damn state take care of it, but I didn't. I stood up and chose to do it. I had to make difficult decisions on a daily basis. Things that I shouldn't have had to worry about, but I did. Because I loved him. For the past five goddamned years, I've loved him and I've made sure that he was fed and clothed and taken care of. I made sure that he had to best education that I could afford and that he knew that he was loved. I've bled, sweat and cried over this child. So screw you, Mr. Cullen, and the horse you rode in on," she seethed in fury.    

Reviewer: Hels Signed
Date: 15 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 11

Great chapter. I loved Edward's reactions towards Jack and Bella. Looking forward to the next chapter.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your review! For those of you who are new to the story, I update every Friday and post teasers on Mondays. The latest teases are up on the Blog (http://kitsushel.blogspot.com/) as we speak, along with some new pictures from this upcoming chapter! We're up to 428 reviews here, so I wanted to remind everyone that the 500th reviewer here will get to pick the subject of one of the Outtakes, just like the 1000th on FFnet and the 500th on Twilighted did. Thank you again for all of your love and support!


XoXo

Shel


O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O


"Wait, you're staying in his house instead of the hotel? Bella, is that really safe? I mean, I know you want to make everyone happy, but you've gotta think about your own safely, seriously!" Alice chastised.

"Calm down, woman. It's his parents house, which is enormous and beautiful. I figured it would be fine, since I was calling you and Dad to let you know where I would be. Just in case you needed somewhere to start looking for the body."

"Bella, do not joke about this! I am going on record as saying that I completely disagree with this decision."

"Duly noted, Alice."