Membership status: Member
Bio:
I never know what to say in these summaries. My name is Amy and I am a mother of three beautiful girls. I read Twilgiht after seeing the movie and fell in love with the characters. I have been reading FF for about a year now. Through my newest hobby I have met some of my closest friends.
There isn't any theme to my writing and I have experimented with pretty much everything now. Please read and review as reviews really are little rays of sunshine.
After fifteen year-old Bella Swan and her older brother Emmett lose their parents in a tragic accident, Bella's life takes a horrific turn for the worse. Once Emmett discovers the secret she's been keeping, he moves them from Phoenix to Forks to live with their Godparents Carlisle and Esme Cullen, and their children, Edward and Alice.
Can a move to a new town help heal Bella, who has deemed herself ruined and unfixable? Can the love of a new family break through the scars of her past?
***WARNING: This story contains heartfail, adult themes, violence, abuse, sexual situations, and is not intended for readers under the age of 18.***
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Ageise02's not read yet, Lady Luciole's Favorites TwiMaf
Chapters: 15 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 76124 Read Count: 20345
Date: 16 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 13: I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me/Evil
Evil, sadistic, evil James. I want to kill him more than ever. No more pitch fork, he gets the rat poison.
Poor Bella, but at least she is still holding it together. She is still progressing through her stages, she has not been set back as much as she thinks. I am still proud of her. I am just as proud of Edward, such a trooper.
Others can never fix us, they can only aid in the process. And even then we will never be perfect again, but no one is. Our scars make us unique, and just like the skin that covers those wounds, our past makes us stronger. And from that strength we live, we learn and we take our knowledge and try to help others. To hopefully make their lives better and prevent the pain that we endured.
Thank you again for sharing this wonderful story, as well as your personal strength. That says more about you than any past that may have occurred.
Author's Response: Thanks, sweets. I really appreciate it.
Date: 15 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 1: Secrets and Lies
Okay, so take two. I can see the difference, minute so far. But it is incredible how much difference a minute detail can change things. Still a wonderful story. And I didn't say this before, but Emmett has stolen my heart. Such a good brother.
Onwards and upwards.
Author's Response:
I love Emmett and he seems to take over all of my stories without me even realizing it. He really steals the show in Encore.
I think the little details and the fact that the outtakes have been worked into the story will make it make more sense. The sequel is on here as well, and in much better shape than on FFN.
Neither story was beta'd so that's why they're both not quite up to par.
Date: 15 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 2: What the Hell Happened to Bella?
Wow, okay now THIS explained A LOT. Makes me want to kick Jame's ass even more. He was never my favorite character to begin with. I have seen this happen before. I have seen the bruises, the blood and witnessed the aftermath that is left behind. The damage is not always visible, but the scares are ever lasting.
The tear jerker warning is VERY much deserved. But the way that you describe everything, gives the story and her tale honor. We all know where the fault lies, we all feel her pain, and we are all holding our pitchforks waiting for address confirmation.
Gianna is a sweetheart and Bella has become my sweatpea as well. I want to wrap Em and Bella in a bear hug and fix both of them.
Thank you for sharing this and thank you again for recommending me read over here.
Fantastic chapter.
Author's Response:
When I originally wrote the story, I wasn't ready to write this chapter--it was too hard, to painful, and to be honest, I wasn't sure that anyone would want to read it. There is a lot in this story that touches close to home, and this was a very big, and often painful, labour of love.
You have NO idea how many people wanted to put together a brigade of people with pitchforks to go after EMMETT! So many readers blamed him for what happened and it floored me. How was he to know? How is he to blame? I was FLOORED and saddened. Some people chose not to continue reading the story because they were so disgusted with him. I just don't understand it. It broke my heart.
My intention in writing this was to present the story of a girl's healing with respect and care because I've read SO MANY fanfics where it's not, and it bothered me. Bella would get raped or abused and then everything would be fine--but life isn't like that, and I wanted to show a side of it that was maybe a little more realistic, and more importantly, respectful. I've had a lot of survivors come to me with their stories and the biggest compliment I received (aside from the girls who told me that they found a voice with this story) was that it was handled in a way that wasn't pandering or hurtful to the survivors.
Date: 15 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 3: Hindsight is 20/20 - Our Place
Hello again. I am falling in love with the Cullens all over again. I am so glad that Edward seems... normal. And Alice described as the toddler with a pixie stick, you made me snort! :)
I am glad that you added in this different perspective, it really gives us a broad picture and even more background. It also shows us Esme's heart, which is HUGE.
In response to your last reply review, the fact that people would blame Emmett floored me. The guilt that he already feels is enough. The guilt that a friend/family member feels when they were not able to notice the signs, I have seen it end lives. For someone to take it to that level, it pains me.
I am glad that you stayed strong and true to yourself and decided to dig deep and post your story your way. It takes a lot to put your personal feelings out there, and I commend you. I am really glad that you are taking the plot naturally.
Life doesn't always fix things, and sometimes time doesn't always fix things either.
I cannot wait to read more and see Bella heal. Thank you again for sharing, and I will protect Emmett from any pitchforks. No one gets to him on my watch.
Author's Response: Emmett and I BOTH thank you for the support and protection from the pitchforks. You really have no idea how much shit I took over him. The Cullens needed to be as warm, compassionate, and human as possible to make this story work. Sadly very few girls/women have this kind of support system when trying to recover from something like this. I thought it might be nice to see what would happen if she had this kind of incredible support system. :)
Date: 15 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 4: Branded
wow, just when I didn't think it was possible to deepen the bond between Bella and Edward, you made it possible. I love that Edward was there to comfort Bella, and I love the fact even more that you didn't make it painful. There wasn't any yelling or false confusion in the morning. There weren't any professions of love or divulging of every last detail, it was just nice. There was healing and there was bonding, natural bonding.
One things that I really love about your story is that you use your characters to speak with your readers. You seem to take their concerns and address them within the story. Effectively giving them their answers, while developing your characters. This draws the readers in more and really personalizes the story for us all.
Poor Emmett, and Edward is right. The more he blames himself, the worse it is for Bella. She already has a complex that everything was her fault and everyone that is hurt from this experience makes her feel all that more guilty.
There is more that happened to Bella, James is a sick fucker. Forgive my french.
I want to wrap Bella up in a hug, though I think Edward's arms may be a bit nicer.
A wonderful chapter. Your words are filled with compassion yet convey a very important message. These relationships are out there, and they are not meant to be seen. Sometimes the only think that makes a difference is a watchful eye and a kind word.
Thank you for sharing.
Author's Response: Thank YOU for reading! I'm always curious to hear what people think of this story because it's a hard one to read, and everyone seems to take something different from it. So, thank you!!
Date: 15 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Buried Memories Ain't No Walk in the Park
Wow, I have to say that some of your reviewers really surprise me. Maybe it is bc this particular plot line hits really close to home, but you have been spot on a lot. So close to perfect that I have gotten goose bumps more than once.
The pure fear and brainwashing, people take everything from their victims. They steal their pride, their power and their souls. They take that dirty, evil side of themselves and infest it into their victims, tainting their life source and replacing hope with their own disease.
As painful as it is to hear Bella say that life is hard, I understand her pain. I can also understand her fear of people knowing. she has been told how dirty she is, and how if she didn't like it she would tell. Her mind is so warped that she no longer recognizes her own feelings, for anyone else to know this, she does not want them to look at her like James did. She no longer knows that she is worth loving.
Edward truly is wise beyond his years, and I am so glad that Bella is able to feel comforted by him. A weak soul can see a compassionate one from a mile away.
I wasn't surprised to hear that Edward was adopted and had a similar past. You can tell that Esme has experience with this situation, and that helps. I also hope that Bella would take the time to speak with Rose. If her background is anywhere close to cannon, I can imagine that the two of them would be able to understand each other. And sometimes you can talk to thousands of people, but until you are able to speak with someone your own age, whom you look up to, that has been in the same situation, you mind cannot accept it. But when you see someone that you think is damn near perfect has had the same thing happen to them, something clicks.
Fabulous again!! :)
Author's Response: Edward's backstory is really fleshed out in the sequel if you want to know more. It's really quite tragic. I think it really helps him understand and be more compassionate--well, that and growing up with the Cullens doesn't hurt either. Rose and Bella will talk at some point, and Rose's experience will prove invaluable. Thanks again for reading. :)
Date: 15 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Whispers
I REALLY like Victoria. THAT is how a psychologist should be. I have come across some that need to be fired on the spot.
Bella is getting there, she doesn't realize how much talking about it is helping her. she may hate showing her scars, but she is now not only willing to admit that they exist, she is willing to show them off. She doesn't break out into a panic attack and vomit, she grits her teeth and she goes on.
I am glad that is is okay with speaking with Vic on a regular basis, it will really help her.
I am also proud of her for taking the step and going to the exam, I hope that everything comes back clean.
I am glad that you didn't make Rose a bitch, I have always thought that she was misunderstood in the books. Bella now has a confidant to speak with. This will help her.
I am nervous about what her observation of Edward and Bella's relationship will do to Bella though. I hope that she is able to blow of this slip and move on with her recovery.
One more chapter and then I am going to have to force myself to go to sleep. :)
Author's Response:
I am so relieved to hear that you agree with me on Rose in the books. She and Leah Clearwater were two of THE most misunderstood characters in the series and I always felt like Rose got the short end of the stick, as did Leah. I tend to make my Rosalie's tough, but compassionate, because I think that's how she should have been.
Victoria was a product of her nature and I don't think she would have been quite as evil had James not been in the equation. I also have a girl-crush on Rachelle Lefevre. ;) She's a wonderful actress and I was so upset when Victoria was recast.
Anyway, I'm thrilled that you're still loving this story. Thanks so much!!
Date: 15 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 7: Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News
I don't think that you need grief. As you said we know they will get together, and you can tell that time has progressed. You don't have to explain in detail that the pot of water is boiling, you can just say that you boiled a pot of water. Still happens the same way, and is a lot less mundane.
With that said, I LOVED this chapter. When Bella revealed that Edward was her first kiss I had a shit eating grin on my face. :) I let out an awww and everything. Thank you for giving her that.
Her first day of school went well, I am guessing that there will be trouble there eventually though.
Have I mentioned that I LOVE Victoria? Well I do. And I am SOO glad that she congratulated Bella for her break through, rather than focusing on her fear. I REALLY love the way that you are dealing with her pain and fears, THIS is the way that problems should be dealt with. This is also the way that RL would kick our asses with them.
Another wonderful read.
Author's Response:
Thanks, sweets.
Bella needed to have some sort of significant "first" with Edward, so why not her first real kiss? There's nothing more tender or long-lasting than your first kiss with someone you love.
Victoria is awesome. She surprised me chapter by chapter and I really wish there were more therapists out there like her.
Date: 15 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 11: Adam
I am back, and first I must apologize for skipping some chapters with my reviews. I promise to go back and review, it is just I got so wrapped up in the story. Didn't make it to bed til 2am.
So, I am proud of their progress. Baby steps, and the fact that Edward is so patient is key. Bella is very lucky to find someone that understands and is willing to take it slow. More damage can be done by a person who doesn't get it, and wants to push a victim than they know.
I REALLY love Victoria, just saying.
The support of the whole family is amazing, and Bella is really lucky. They really are fixing her with love and compassion and it shows.
I am proud of Bella for donating her artwork, I bet she will be surprised at how much money they bring in. I also forsee that one of her paintings will be featured at the house.
I am glad that she is convincing Emmett to follow his dreams. She is right when she says if she lets him stay close for her sake, that one day he will resent her. He needs to fix himself in order for her to truly heal.
Bella taking this step with Edward was so brave, and you wrote it so well. It is easier for her to touch him than to have him touch her. She didn't experience touching her abuser, just him touching her. This can make her brave enough to explore.
You are remaining true to form and you have my greatest respect. keep up the fabulous work.
oh and I LOVE the names.
Author's Response:
My first boyfriend after I went through my own trauma was very "Edwardian" and the idea of Adam and Pandora kind of came from him. He wanted to take the fear out of it, so he used to do "puppet shows" to make me laugh and relax around him. Adam and Pandora is an extension of this. If you take the fear out of something, it's a lot easier to deal with.
Baby steps is key.
Date: 15 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 12: Everything's Coming Up Rosie
Oh well hell **grabs pitchfork and diesel fuel** Carlisle called, he said he needed added security. Lucky for him I run a redneck shotgun service, we will take car of James.
I am SOOOO glad that you gave Bella the reaction that you did. She is growing and healing and is stronger than she knows. Everyone wants her to be safe, but in order for her to truly heal, she has to face her fears. She has to stand up to her past and say that is not going to be it's prisoner anymore. And she did, and I am SOOO proud of her. I hope that everyone is able to see that she needs this before she tries to take matters in her own hands.
I have faith in you though.
And I am glad that you had an Edwardian man to help you. I did not, nor did I have the strong support system, so it is wonderful to see what could have been.
Author's Response:
My Edwardian man helped, but he didn't cure me. I don't know if I'll ever completely get over my past, but I try. Trust is something I don't hand over to very many men, and it's probably why I'm still alone at 38. Oh well. :) I can live vicariously through fanfic, right?
I'm glad you have faith in me, and I hope you continue to feel that way. :)
Date: 16 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 14: Death Becomes Her
Thank GOD he is dead. Now maybe Bella can fully heal. I am sad to see that this story is going to end soon, but I am happy to hear that there is a sequel.
I am sorry if my reviews were wordy, but I kind of go off on tangents at times.
I have more than enjoyed this story and absolutely love the way that you handled everything. RL, mixed with compassion and covered with love. For a fic that has dealt with such a deeply painful issue, you have made the journey more meaningful than painful. You have shown the silver lining of a dark and painful path. For that I once again thank you
Author's Response: And I can't thank you enough for reading and sharing. I hope you'll enjoy the sequel. :)
Date: 16 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 15: Outtakes!
Awww darlin, you have a happy ending waiting for you. With a soul like yours, you have a match somewhere.
I LOVED hearing the outtakes and I am excited about reading the sequel. Regretfully work calls so I may not be able to read a chapter an hr.:)
See on the flip side.
Author's Response: You're going to make me cry, bb. Thanks so much, and I'll be here when you get around to reading the sequel. :)
It's now six years later; Bella is graduating from Dartmouth, Edward is in Med School. How have their lives changed over the years and what's to come down the road?
AU-Human, rated NC-17 for mature language, mature subject matter, talk of abuse.SEQUEL TO BRANDED. Please read Branded before reading this story.
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Ageise02's not read yet
Chapters: 36 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 149939 Read Count: 18955
Date: 17 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 1: Time
Poor Bella, and no not gassy. :)
Just when they believe they are stronger than James, his memory still haunts them. Bella is so strong, speaking for and to all of those woman. I am proud of her.
But even underneath all of that strength, her pain still lurks. It always will.
I hope that they are able to overcome this. There are so many options for them to overcome this. I hope they will find them.
Author's Response: Welcome back! ;). I really hope that you enjoy this story as much as you did 'Branded'. It's the same gang, just a little different. ;)
Date: 18 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 2: Reunited
It feels good to be back, and yes I am liking this story just as much.
I am worried about Bella as well though, she is reflecting an awful lot lately, and I know this may be partially because you want to fill in a lot of the gaps. But I just feel like you are trying to lead us to something else as well.
I am glad that everyone is getting together and that they seem to feel more comfortable speaking about issues.
I am glad that they adopted Em and Bella, still, makes it funny that is is dating her "brother."
Oh and by the way, I LOVE Victoria. One more chapt and then bed time. Darn school schedule.
Author's Response: The reflecting is, as you mentioned, sort of a fill-in-the-gaps between stories. Things will mellow out a bit as the story progresses. Victoria is in this story too, even though they don't live on the same side of the country. She's more of a friend now. :) I hear you on the "one more chapter before bed..." I've been up far too late lately reading "This Isn't My Life." The damn story is killing me!
Date: 18 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 3: Endings and Beginnings
Awwwwww, dammit you made me cry!! The last line was my favorite, as that is something that I would say.
I am really proud of Bella, she did it. She is free and moving forward and achieving more than she ever thought possible.
Esme's talk was spot on. It takes a very special person to be able to step into a mother's shoes and fill that gap. Sometimes it is easier to give birth to a child, than to piece back together one that didn't get a proper chance. I think that Bella will be an excellent mother, however she becomes one.
Victoria, she makes me want to go back to my original career path. I am curious about her history, I always have been. I always wonder where her compassion comes from.
Mood swing central for little Mrs Bella, makes me wonder. But you have her drinking, quite a bit. Hmmmm, maybe I have just been thrown too many plot curve balls. :) So I will try NOT to speculate.
I want to read another chapter, but bed is calling. We will have to see who wins out on this one. :)
Have a great night if I do head to bed!! Thank you again for sharing!!!!
Author's Response: If bed wins, I understand. I'm in bed now about to cozy up with some ff on my Crackberry. :)
Date: 18 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 4: Separation Anxiety
Goodbyes are always bittersweet.
I feel Bella's pain, it is not easy stepping away from your security. She has been with him for a long time and they really aren't apart very much. And if they are, it is not over a long distance as it will be now. But, that being said, sometimes distance can be good. It gives you a chance to miss them, and really see how your life is. And she will be with her family so it isn't that bad.
Poor Edward though, will be stuck at work and all alone. He has not been away from her for any length or distance either. I know that he does not have the past that she does, but he still has the emotional trauma to deal with as well. He has taken on her burden, therefore can still show effects of it as well. Hopefully he will stay busy at work and he doesn't have any "trigger" cases while he is home alone.
I am so glad that they were all able to get together like this. This family is a strong unit and it makes me want to be adopted. :)
I chuckled at Carlisle paying off the wait staff to leave them alone for being rowdy, I can see him doing that. I could also see this group making a scene in a stuffy restaurant. they aren't exactly the "quiet" bunch.
I actually read this before bed, but I have time between when my midget has to be at school and when I have to be at work. So I figured I would be productive. Though true productivity would be me writing, but I chose to slack today. :)
Another great job.
Author's Response: I really wish I could write right now! Gah...work is all kinds of crazy and the sequel to Encore isn't writing itself. ;) I think it would be loads of fun to hang out with the Cullen gang. Emmett alone would be a worthy entertainer. Thanks for reading. I've really enjoyed your take on things. :)
Date: 22 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Deja Vu
Poor Bella, I agree. Why does this keep happening to her? Though I think I may know.
She is a beauty, yet she does not think so. She is not able to read flirting for what it is. She may just think that she is being nice, but to a drunk man, she may be lingering too much. She is not on the same social playing field as everyone else.
I am glad that she was able to have fun with the girls though. Everything will work out in the wash. Things may not turn out exactly as one hopes, but one day they realize that they turned out exactly as they should.
I am proud of Bella though, she fought back. She didn't let him take her, she didn't sit on her hands. She took her power and used it against him. That is a HUGE step.
And I would have made him bleed profusely, just saying.
Her and Edward work so well together. I know that he is worried, but he is so good for her. They know each other so well and it is SO lovely to read.
Emmett is my favorite big teddy bear. He really is one of the best brothers that a girl could have.
I am sorry that this took so long, but I should have more for you this weekend. I had a plot bunny chewing on my brain.
You need GChat, just saying.
Author's Response: Hey, no worries...when the plotbunnies call, you MUST answer. I understand. I wonder if GChat works on a Blackberry, since I spend more time on it than my laptop these days. ;)
Date: 22 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 7: Peanut Confirmation
Awwww, congrats to the proud momma and poppa!!! I am SOOO glad that Edward insisted on going to the Dr's as soon as they got back into town, they needed the confirmation.
I remember that sensation of having to pee at one of those ultrasounds. I hated the fact that they would make you have to drink all of that water before going in.
These two are so excited and I am so happy, but I understand Bella's fears. The first trimester is the tricky one, specially for high risk pregnancies. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
I am glad that she finally told Rose, now she will have someone to talk to about it all. There is a special bond between to best friends that are pregnant at the same time.
Now my only fear is that they both carry to term. If one does not that could be devastating.
Another fine chapter. :)
And yes you can do GChat on a blackberry.
Author's Response:
Hmm...look at that! You can do GoogleTalk on Blackberry. I know so little about this thing...I've had it for a year too.
You know that Edward isn't going to take the pregnancy lightly and will be on her ass all the time to make sure everything goes okay.
Rose to the rescue again. I feel kind of bad for Alice being out of the loop like this, but she lives in NY anyway, right?