Reviews by Tish Lian Smith
Summary:

Story Banner

After Edward left Bella never had much luck with life: her mother gets pregnant and dies in childbirth and her step father doesn't want anything to do with them. Charlie dies from a car crash in Seattle and Jacob imprinted and left her at the alter.

Even 10 years latter Edward Cullen still haunts her memory, and what could happen when he comes to her school, and how is it she doesn't appear a day over 23? Good genetics maybe?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Categories: Non-Canon Pairings, Twilight, Alternate Universe
Characters: Bella/Jacob
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 28148 Read Count: 12870
[Report This] Published: 30 Mar 2010 Updated: 31 Mar 2010
Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 01 Apr 2010 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12: Bitter Taste - End of Book I

This is an interesting story, I don't agree with your opinions on Jake, but that's alright. This story has piqued my interest enough to keep me from hating you about your opinion of Jake. As my sister would say, you have a right to your own opinion. It is pretty well wrote and extremely intriguing. I look forward to reading the next part of this story. I would suggest you go series, that's what I would do.

P.S. I noticed that you have multiple grammatical and spelling errors. My sister, profile name, Jadiona (she's on Fanfiction, TWCS, and Twilighted), would probably be more than willing to beta for you, if you contacted her. She writes a lot of New Moon re-writes and would probably greatly enjoy yours.

Summary: Past Featured Story

Banner for TFICF

Bella finds herself in dire financial need and takes drastic action -- she offers her virginity up for auction.  Will this desperate plan to save her college education actually turn out to be a second chance at love? 

 

This story was  made possible by the generous contribution of CandraJade to the Support Stacie Auction and is based on her fabulous prompt.

 

**If you are not old enough to purchase Adult Material, you are not old enough to read this story.  Rated for content and sex in later chapters.**

 

fs

 


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 13 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 39762 Read Count: 45052
[Report This] Published: 11 Apr 2010 Updated: 23 Sep 2012
Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 07 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

I have been sent here by my hormonal sister, Jadiona, to beg you to post the next chapter. I have been a silent reader from chapter one, but now as my sister has (unwillingly) agreed to help me with what I need to do when I seduce my boyfriend of a year. I am litterally pleading with you to post that next chapter before Thursday. Be warned I may actually post fifty reviews, trust me my sister has officially sicked my awesome reviewing capabilities on you. *begging, not on knees (I will not drop to my knees for any story, well unless it's my own)*



Author's Response:

*picks self up off floor to type response*

You two have just officially cracked me up!!!  :D 

I will present your case to TA and see what we can do! (If we do, Jadiona --and her spouse-- have to understand we are not responsible for any dreams which may result from said chapter!)

Thanks for reading (and finally speaking up, even if it was coerced!)!! lol

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

Okay here it is, begging and berating officially begins. I will get you to fifty reviews on this chapter before five PM tommorow. Think I'm lying, watch me. *Grins manically*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

Well... Let's see I loved the chapter because it seems semi-realistic. But I'm sort of like my sister. I hate cliffies, I mean really, really hate them *grits teeth* But I love smut, hmmm... what eighteen year old doesn't? So let's see you now have 30 reviews 20 more to go... Here I come

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

“We’ve wasted too much time already.  I would like you to stay.  I want you, Edward. Here.  Now.  Like this.  I was ready to give my virtue to a stranger tonight.  I find instead I’m ready to give my heart and whole self to the one it already has belonged to and if I’m lucky, I’ll gain the same in return.”

I love that line, it's great. You know, perhaps it's good I'm reviewing over multiple reviews, because I can't possibly write everything in just one review. Well... I could, but it would be the longest review in history... hmmm... that's an idea. Like I said, that's a great line; I love it. Of course the reason is probably because I am seriously considering finally giving away (I'm 18, it's about damn time. Especially since all five of brothers and three sisters lost theirs before now) Oh well... that's enough for now... 19 to go. *still grinning manically*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

“It’s YOU Bella.  Not something as superficial as mere appearance.  I love that about you too, don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful but that only compliments the rest.  I want you, Bella, I want to claim all of you.  You have no idea how much,” his voice caught momentarily, causing a reciprocal twist in my belly, “but not like this…Not for money.


“If I win you, I want your heart and soul, the prize of your companionship, and the gift of your intimacy to be given freely – never under duress from needing money or out of some contractual obligation.  I could never demean either of us that way!”


Okay here's another great little section that I loved in this chapter. There's a lot of passion in it, it's intense. And as a result it sinks a reader (like me) into it. Still don't believe that I'll reach fifty *grins like a madman* I'd even sick my only younger brother (he's also gay and in love with Rob, which is why he'd review like a madman) on you if it weren't for the fact that he's only 16. That means he ain't allowed this story. Well he can read it on FF though...


Okay... enough for now... 18 to go *Eyes twinkle with manic insanity*



Author's Response:

Why thank-you!

 

And NO he's not allowed to read past this chapter, even on ff.  Some things are worth the wait (and the closer you get to physical maturity (~21 for girls) the BETTER it is)!  Same goes for boys.  :D

Kisses for being adorable and totally championing your sis and her pregger hormones (we'll just ignore how I can hear yours chanting in the background as well). *mwaha*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

He was right.  I owed him at least that much after what I did to him back in high school, my current humiliation and embarrassment aside.  My gaze froze on the roses, the spa card, and the chilled champagne on the table – suddenly seeing them in a new light.  Maybe this wasn’t about revenge or even sex; maybe it was another romantic offering, like the ill-received letter. 

This first paragraph show's Bella to be smarter and less dense than the Bella of Stephenie's creation, I like it.

*madman grin still in place* Okay, seventeen more to go.

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

Okay this is what my sister calls a bullsh*t review.

:)

See, bullsh*t. Where's the text, it doesn't take but a second to write 'I liked it'/'I loved it'. A smily face what the f is up with it; that's bullsh*t is what is with it.

Now for my favorite bullsh*t review to use...

(/)_()
(='.'=)
(")_(")

See, at least that takes a little time.

Sixteen more to go... I might get them done tonight.



Author's Response:

LOL   You're so cute! :D   (And, so's the bunny!)

 

Thanks!

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

“But your smile, your laugh, the shining spark of your mind and amazing wit, they were what drew me to you…and what made it sheer torture to sit next to you in class believing you thought I was lame for writing that letter.  All I wanted was to touch you or make you laugh.”


His voice had risen by the end of his declaration but became even more muted than before as he continued.


“It’s what haunts me even more than imagining the sweep of your breasts against my hand, or the feel of your lips against mine.” 


Well there's another section that I love. I can physically feel the passion between them, and it feels right. It's amazing how well wrote this chapter is...


Well, let's see, someone added a review, so I'm down to fourteen to go *grins like a maniac* (Oh, did I mention that I can be annoying)



Author's Response:

You make me smile so big with your reviews!  Bless you!  And thank-you!

 

"Oh, did I mention that I can be annoying."      I'm suddenly having huge empathy for your mother! lol  We'll just call it tenacity, shall we?  :D

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

Huge thanks to all of you who reviewed (and especially to those who were tempted to "review" fifty times by yourselves! lol)!!  We really appreciate it.  We still get all tingly thinking about it! :D 

Looks like you got me doing it now *hehehe*

It was the moment of truth…

Did I mention that I hate cliffies???   I did... Oh well.

I need that chapter...

13 to go

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

“It was you I tried not to imagine as I prepared for tonight.  I kept cursing myself as a fool for wanting the lines from Sonnet 116 and the romantic gestures to add up to you,” I finally confessed.  “It was just such a shock actually seeing you and putting it all together – that you were CXVI – One-hundred- sixteen,” my lips quirked up in an ironic smile.  “My dream come true.


“Then when I saw you…I couldn’t imagine you could possibly return my feelings.  We didn’t exactly finish hight school on good terms.  I thought for sure you were just trying to ruin my only chance to stay in college as retaliation for unknowingly stomping on your heart all those years ago. You don't know how many, many times I've reread that letter, picturing you as the writer, just to imagine how things could have gone.”


I wish I could actually explain just what makes poetry romantic, but I can't. The whole idea of writing a letter and quoting Shakespeare - one of his poems no less - is any girls dream come true (Well actually its not, but it should be)


12 to go *manic grin still there*



Author's Response:

I think TwiliteAddict in particular, is right there with ya!!  *smooches*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

“It’s what I’ve wanted since the first time I saw you and all I’ve been able to think about since.  The idea of being with you -- it still fills my dreams.”

The idea that a man actually dreams about you specifically is more romantic than anything else out there. But it also shows that he covets her, and that is a sin ('Though shalt not covet'). Oh well who gives a f*. That's whats so wonderful about stories, the characters can covet all they want. There's no god in there to strike them down. (Now if you talk to Jade, she'll say there ain't a god at all, but a goddess, [she believes in Wicca]. Jacque is at a turning point  where he believes christianity ain't the right path and is turning toward his sisters views) {Okay enough about my screwed up family}

11 to go



Author's Response:

Ahhh, but there are some that would say his dreaming of her in particular isn't coveting, but the universe trying to point him in the right direction!  ;D

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

I could see the sincerity in his eyes as he turned to leave and as much as it killed me, I almost let him go.  My pride and fear almost won out, but just as he put his hand on the knob to open the door, I knew if I let him leave, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.  I would regret it far more than I had regretted how I handled the situation surrounding the letter. 

Fear, insecurity, lost to oneself. In that paragraph the depth of her emotions should have physically knocked her over. Probably would have if she had been standing. Would he have truly left if she hadn't asked him to stop? OR would he have just got out the door - and maybe to the lobby - before breaking down? (Oh did I tell you that I have taken three analytical classes... and since you want fifty reviews I've gotten to the point where I'm reviewing having to analyze text a little [welll maybe a lot])

10 to go *Grins crazily*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

“I can’t imagine a more perfect setting or a more perfect partner.  The truth is I’ve always wanted to be with you.  You haunt my dreams, too.” 

Begging, pleading, down on knees, asking softly, heartfelt truth. Yes all that and more is revealed in one line. I bet you didn't even know there was that much in a line - a line you wrote at that. And so the truth is revealed that she dreams of him too, covets him too (refer to past reviews). In this moment we see more than just love, but lust as well. Though I will give you, it is hidden

9 more to go *muahahaha*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

“But I do want you to have the money.  Consider it a gift or an interest-free loan if you must, but don’t throw away your future when the means to stay in school are in your hand, no strings attached.”  

I love you, I want you, I need you, BUT I'm willing to let you go if that's what you want. Don't we wish all men were like this  

8 more *manic smile, manic eyes, manic twitch; hehehe... hahaha... muahaha*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

Bullsh*t review alert

╔══╦══╦══╗
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║
╚══╩══╩══╝

I do so love this story

7 more to go

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

Was I too late to fight for him?  Had my rejections hurt him too much?  Now that I had finally let him in would he leave me?

Sadness, fear, shock, horror, depression, light headed, increased heartrate, pale. One must ask why it is that our gender always seems to assume the worst. You ever notice that?

6 more to go *Insanity showing on face*



Author's Response:

"One must ask why it is that our gender always seems to assume the worst. You ever notice that?"

Oh, yeah!  TA and I both most certainly have.

And what's interesting is that women really do have all the power, we just tend to give it away.  Or not realize it.

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

Desperately trying to hang onto my rage in order to keep myself wrapped in its protective cocoon, I stalked across the room to the bottle chilling on the table.  I couldn’t still the trembling of my hands as I pulled the bottle from its icy nest, eased out the cork, and poured the shimmering golden liquid into two flutes, proud I at least knew how to fake high-society manners by repeating what I had seen on television shows. 


Leaving one glass on the table, I snatched up a large red berry from the beautiful tray and retreated to the couch, sitting with my legs curled up under me and crossing my arms.  The very image of reluctant impatience.


Yeah right... *snorts, not delicately* If she really hadn't wanted to talk to him she would have just left. She's desperate to talk with him, to hear his voice, to have him acknowledge her. She wishes she could redo high school but knows it is impossible, and she is unable to change it. So she takes what she is given. She wants him, needs him in her life, but she can't admit it to herself. The only thing she is reluctantly impatient for is when she will finally have to admit to herself and him that she loves him A LOT


Five more to go {YES} *Muahaha*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

If I let him explain, could I be brave enough to confess what I had felt for him in the first place?  Could I undo my mistake from the past?  Could this disastrously awkward moment really be a second chance?

She hopes she can make up for it, but in reality she can't, so she's left trying to decide if giving him an actual second chance is smart, she's not sure, but what other choice does she have? Walk away, with Bella, not likely

4 to go *Manic face*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

New bullsh*t review alert

(/)_(/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

Hmmm... I need to find out how to draw other IM animals. Oh well, great story.

3 to go *Insanity has struck*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

I had texted Alice when I was in the elevator.  I told her the auction winner was a prank so she need not expect any more texts from me tonight and I’d call her in the morning.  I even used the code word so she’d know the message was for real.  Still, I kept my phone nearby in case I needed it.

Nervous, afraid... She wants something - Edward. But she's afraid if she allows herself to have it, she will be hurt again. Hard to tell what to do in a dituation like that.

2 to go

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

The official bullsh*t review

:)

Only one more

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12 May 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Second Chances

*Manic smile leaves face, spark leaves eye, body stops shaking, madman laughter ends*

Lucidity has returned you now have fifty reviews *whew*



Author's Response:

Bahahhahaa!!  Seriously ROTF LMAO!!  If I had access to the internet from my  laptop you'd have the chapter right now, but it's 3 am where TA lives and my d**n laptop won't recognise the wireless in the hotel for some fracked reason.  I'll put it up as soon as I get home tomarrow!  (This'll teach me to travel without a memory stick too, or else I could put it up from the hubs' laptop.)

The hubs is pacing and starting to twitch from comp withdrawls, so I'll review more once I'm home tomarrow eve! 

 

HUGE SMOOCHES FOR TENACITY!!! LOL

Ahhh, you rock! :D

 

(Intersting premises on your fics as well!)

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 13 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Soooo.... As my sister mentioned - How bout two? My sister and I could each review twenty times and that will get you well over fifty reviews

Want it to be thirty each we can do that too... Trust me I've got a lot of areas that I can analyze in this chapter... so what do you say? Be warned MY SISTER AND I WILL START THE BERATING MONDAY (unless I decide to do mine sooner (hehe)

For now however I hate the damn cliffy... And not enough happened to require a cold shower of me. Damn even I've gone that far, and at the rate you guys update I'm going to beat the story to the punch line.

Please, please, please post the next chapter soon *Puppy dog eyes now showing*

(*Manic eyes not far behind* - thirty reviews... here I come)



Author's Response:

LOL at you guys!  :D  As they say, two is most definitely better than one! *chuckles*

Yeah, I know, we've beaten the cliffie horse to death.  But in our defense it's not something we do basically at all in any of our other fics and we wanted to try it on for size.  I have to agree with other authors, it's very empowering.  As a reader, yeah it sucks patootie!  lol   But like good sex, longing makes the finish MORE...  *chesire cat grin*

Yes, but BELLA hadn't gone that far. It was quite the milestone for both of them.  And sets up who E is sexually here.  If a guy can't get you off first, and then warm you back up for round two (as needed) then I don't think he's worth the full deal. In hind sight no sex is way better than sex that leaves you wondering where the f the main event went.  lol

And yes, I can see the manic eyes approaching, even from here!

Thanks, bb!

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 14 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Okay... so I'm starting my 29 remaining reviews now...

And to start out I'm posting a Bullsh*t review (refer to last chapter reviews if you forget what that means) This is Mr. and Mrs. Owl (don't ask me which is which)

(O.O)    (-.-)
()__()    ()-()



Author's Response:

Cute.  Oh, I think I can tell! LOL

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 14 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Edward lifted his hand and lightly ran the back of his index finger down the slope of my cheek.  

“As Shakespeare wrote, ‘Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.’  This is so much better than a dream,” he murmured after a moment, the wonder in his eyes igniting joyous hope in my own. 

My pulse quickened as his hand cupped its warmth against my cheek.  Tipping my face up, his lips approached agonizingly slowly, before finally making featherlike contact with mine.  

We both let out a gasp at the resulting bolt of desire that ripped through our bodies -- it actually made my toes curl.  Unwilling to release the contact, my arms wrapped around Edward’s waist and fisted into his tux jacket.  Our lips clung more firming, our breath mingling as we began gloriously exploring and tasting each others’ succulent lips. 

The beginning is always the best part to a chapter; it is what draws the reader in, what creates the allure. And it is clear in this chapter that Bella is falling straight into Edward; she loves him with her whole heart. And as general, humans (females especially) enjoy romance (almost as much as good smut)

27 to go *Madman grin in place*



Author's Response:

LOL  Yeah, almost as much.  teehee

Thanks!

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 14 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Having divined the depth of his chivalrous character, I suspected I would need to make the next step.  


I took his hand, “Come.”


From romantic to needy, desirous to lustful. The heart knows what it wants, and it will take it. Very few humans or otherwise won't go to the extreme of becoming dominant in a moment of passion to take it to the next extreme. (At least that's what Jade has told me. Of course she's one to talk with her having a past in BDSM and all)


26 more *Laughs manicly*



Author's Response:

We all have an inner dom and an inner sub, the trick is giving ourselves permission to be comfortable letting them out!  ;D

*giggles at maniacle laughter*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 14 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Bullsh*t review alert

Meet Mouse

_ _
(_)(_)
(o o)
==(o)==

I've found a bunch of cute animals so you might get quite a few bullsh*t reviews.

25 more

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 14 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

I had never seen one, live and in person before, and found myself fascinated by the textures and veins, the almost shiny quality to the skin of the shaft as it strained up toward us and the more velvety texture of the tip.  I had never expected the leaking fluid pooling at the slightly gaping opening to call to me, begging to be treasured.  I stared fascinated as my hand slid over the coarseness of his thigh before lightly exploring the pouch at his base and stroking up to the tip.  He shuddered and groaned as I touched the tip, dipping my finger into the gentle stream of flowing moisture.  One day I wanted to taste it with the tip of my tongue, a desire I would have found shocking before today.

Curiosity, desire, want, intrigue, interest, need. The male body; a fascination of females. Yet in this case her reaction is most likely caused because she loves him specifically. If it was just any guy, she might consider it ugly or un-noteworthy or not regard it whatsoever; it's hard to tell.

24 to go.



Author's Response:

I would think her reaction would be tempered if she were less than ready, and with a partner she was less than wholly attracted to.  She'd likely be more analytical if it was just some guy who was "close enough".  If a person not mature enough to not be grossed out by genetalia, I'd say they're not ready to be up close and personal with said genetalia!!  :D

Enjoying the ananlysis!

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 14 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

This done his lips sought mine again as his free hand descended over the curls between my legs, gently cupping my heat.  My hips bucked at the jolt of intense sensation, my mind aswirl with desire and stimulation, the tension in my belly wound so tight it throbbed in a demanding pulse of its own.  I found my hands grasping at his back and shoulders, all but devouring him with my unrelenting kisses.

Emotion strikes; passion, desire, want, lust, need. A woman's body is fine tuned instrument (Well a man's too, but I'm not even touching that topic). We need and want specific things, and desire being touched very specifically; while not every female is the same it is something all females share.

23 more... but I'm ending for the night.



Author's Response:

So true! Thanks!

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 15 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

I'm back; not for long though, I have a long day tommorow. Well actually so does Jade. We're both graduating tommorow.  Her from law school and me from high school (Thank Heaven; I am so glad to be gone, though at this point I would let Jacque take my graduation just so he could get away. The kids won't leave him alone now that they know he's gay. They've beat him up, twice - this last time landed him in a hospital. And our parents aren't any better.) {Life must go on}


I love your story though



Author's Response:

Congrats to you both on your graduations!!  Gah that feels like forever ago for me.  (Both of them.)  Sadly motherhood siderailed my plans for my Bio degree. :S

I'd just LOVE for life to teach the little cretins getting their jollies off of beating up your brother a really HARD lesson on tolerance.  Was anything done to the ones who landed him in the hospital?!  I have so little patience for intolerance.  It just makes me sick.  Huge hugs to your bro. 

Thanks for your praise!

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 15 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

RosaBella75:  Hey TA.

 

TwiliteAddict:  Yeah RB?

 

RosaBella75:  Did you notice the sudden spike in the review count yesterday?

 

TwiliteAddict:   Yeah I did.  That most certainly was impressive!

 

RosaBella75:  No doubt!  That Tish is one motivated wildcat, eh?!  *laughs*

 

TwiliteAddict:  I’ll say.  She posted FOURTY-SIX reviews all on her own! *giggles and shakes head*

 

RosaBella75:  I KNOW!  And even the “throw away” ones were good for at least a grin, if not a giggle!  She even made me get a bit misty a time or two with her insight and praise! 

 

TwiliteAddict:  She sure is dedicated to her sister!  *whispers*  We’ll just overlook that she was just as excited to read the next chapter for her own enjoyment, too!   :D

 

RosaBella75:  I think the good readers here at The Writer’s Coffee Shop should get down and kiss her feet for bringing this chapter a whole TWO days early with her over the top impressive diligence! 

 

TwiliteAddict:  No doubt!

 

RosaBella75:  Shall we shut up and let them get to the citrus now?

 

TwiliteAddict:  *laughs*  Definitely!

Thanks, I love being acknowledged.

21 to go



Author's Response:

You are most welcome!  Least we could do since your efforts were so inspirational to us! :D

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 15 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Feeling myself all but panting with anticipation, I allowed my thumbs one last swipe at his… happy trail

cute, that's the first time I've heard it called that.



Author's Response:

Really.  Well, I'm glad I used it then. ;D It's one of my favorite names for the cascade fuzz from the belly button to ... my happy place. *chesire cat grin*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 15 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

“I want to be yours, Edward.  You have won my heart,” I admitted in a soft voice, knowing desire and anticipation were written large in my eyes, for once grateful that my every thought always showed on my face.

I want this, I desire this, I need this, I am yours. This is romantic, intense, sweet, and passionate. I can taste it and imagine it. Her hands are probably touching him in an unconcious gesture at this moment, and her eyes; more than desirous - they're pleading. They want him to know. Her soft voice probably has the start of lust in it.

19 more



Author's Response:

Yup.  :D   It's so fun seeing my words through your eyes.  Thanks!!!

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 15 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

I led him into the bedroom. It was full of candles of all types: pillars, candelabras, and tea lights floating in crystal bowls of water dotted with fragrant rose petals.

The bed had been turned down all the way to the foot in our absence. I released his hand as we arrived at the bed. He watched me with rapt attention as I took up the long slender lighter and lit each candle before switching off the harsh lighting of the lamp. Crossing the room, I came to stand before him again. The flickering warm light of the candles was reflected in his beautiful eyes, and I was overcome with want and need.

Romantic, subtle, beautiful, amazing, lustrous. This describtion gives way to great though; not just to you, the writer. But to the character as well - Edward. This was his idea, he said he hadn't expected them to make love, hadn't planned it. Yet he must have hoped and prepared for it anyways. (Maybe subconciously he had wanted and expected it)

18 more, I'm done for the night. More tommorow night, maybe. If not sunday night or Monday.

 



Author's Response:

The setting was TA, and the description mine with her amping it up in spots.  The bed being turned down was from her, the romanticism is from him (and a bit of Alice).  He'd had the candles put in the living area, she moved them to the bedroom, but yes, he's male.  Part of him hoped!!  LOL  My husband would have thrown a fit if we hadn't kept that realism in our fairytale.  It is the "nice guys" you have to watch after all!  They are the ones who respect your boundaries while wearing them down after all (even if the guy isn't aware its what he's doing). :D

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

I'm back for a few more tonight. No the 'little creatins' as you so put it haven't had any official punishment. Trust me, official punishment is the least of their worries. Jade and my four older brothers (Joseph, Carn, Royce, and Valkron) are preparing hell for them. But they needn't be worried about my brothers, all my brothers want to do is beat the living shit out of them. Jade's hormonal from her pregnancy, a natural Dom, and I know her. She will have them of their knees begging for forgiveness without once touching them.

17 more



Author's Response:

Oh, that's better than making them bleed!! *mwahahaha!!!*

I wanna see that written up as a fic!!!  ;D

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Bullsh*t review alert.

since mouse didn't work out so well last time, I'm trying again.

l      _      _
l     (_)   (_)
l       (0 0)
l    ==(O)==

I hope that worked better

another 16

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Now for more analysis

Lifting his hands from my shoulders at last, he gently caressed  my face and neck, touching the lobe of my ear, the curve of my jaw, brushing against the errant curls cascading from atop my head, his eyes taking me in before moving in for another sweet, searing kiss.  My hands were cradled in the small of his back, running a short course up and down his skin before pulling him firmly against me and sliding my hands down along the outside of his thighs, stopping to grip the fabric just above his knees.

desire, lust, need, want, sweet romance.  A blush has spread across her cheeks; she tingles from the mere sensation of his touch. She feels and wants it, she needs it, desires it. Her body is vibrating from the want of more. She won't ask with her mouth, no it comes from her pleading eyes, which promise her surrender to him, as well as her desire to have more.

15 more.

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

His hands slowly descended from my shoulders along the outsides of my arms and around to my back while his lips descended along my jaw, past my ear and down to my collarbone.  I felt him take a deep breath in before his nimble fingers grasped the zipper on the back of my dress to oh so slowly pull it down.  When it was all the way down he paused, I assumed to give me a moment to protest if I had changed my mind. I hadn’t.

Romance, love, lust, need, desire, want. He responds to her eyes, her physical body pleading. Yet he pauses knowing what he wants, and knowing what he sees that she wants. Yet he can't stop his instincts; being the proper gentleman that he is, he's been taught that a woman has the right to refuse. He must give her a good chance to refuse. He can't take before he knows beyond all shadows of a doubt. Yet part of her wants him to stop being nothing but a gentleman, all female like at least partly a bad boy.

14 more *Manic grin in place*



Author's Response:

Yes, we want them to be controlled (like us) until the passion mounts and then to be attentively in charge - verging on abandon (like us). lol  No one wants a pussy cat in the bedroom unless it can also be a Lion as occasion demands!  :D

The image for this was inspired by the garden kiss scene in "Becoming Jane".

Thanks!

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

I took a half step back, and looked him in the eye as I shrugged the slight sleeves off my shoulders allowing the dress to pool around me on the floor.  His breath caught briefly before he quit breathing all together as his eyes widened slightly, yet remained glued to my own.  It was as if he were to look at my half-naked form, it would be his undoing.

She needs to see more of him, feel more of him. She takes the step back and releases herself from the dress. She seeks his approval about how she looks naked yet at the same time she is nervous. He too, is nervous. He wants to look at her, see her, even stare at her, yet he can't/won't. He is still a gentleman and he know that if he looks then he will forget to be a gentleman at all. He desires her, but he doesn't want to scare her, he can't imagine frightening her. And he knows he will want to do everything imaginable to her if he looks (Because he already does want to do that) and that he won't be able to stop.

13 more

P.S. I think that in your paragraph it was supposed to be altogether not all together.



Author's Response:

Ooops.  You are most definitely right!  I'll have to go fix that asap!  Thanks!

Yeah, and it's so embarassing being caught full on gape mouthed staring. ;D  lol  Ya know, Warner Bro. style tongue on the floor-esque. 

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

My chest felt like it was a heaving bellows, as I reached out to unfasten his belt, and free the clasp and zipper of his tux pants. They instantly fell into a matching pool of black around his ankles.

She is an extreme amount of lust and passion (This is one those things you really hope you won't wake up and regret in the morning). She recognizes some minor details yet at the same time she seems to fail to notice other things; like an erection. Boxers/briefs don't hide it very well. There is no way that isn't already hard, he has to be in as much passionate lust as her.

12 to go.

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Bullsh*t review alert

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║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║
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11 more

 

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Certain my heart was about to pound out of my chest, I sank slowly down onto the edge of the bed and scooted back toward the center.  As though he was tied to me with a chain, Edward followed to settle on his side next to me kicking off his shoes and socks as he went.  His eyes followed his hands as they roamed the smooth expanse of my abdomen neatly framed by black satin panties and matching bra.  His breathing matched my own as he leaned in to place a long lingering kiss just above my navel.

In many he is connected to a chain, a chain of desire. He's beginning to forget his instincts to be a proper gentleman, and instead following his heart, his desire, his need. He can't help it, lust consumes him, demanding more of him, he has to follow.

10 more

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

My flesh burned under his lips, and I swear a time-lapse camera would have shown the ripple of goose bumps across my skin moving out from the epicenter of his kiss.  Unbidden, my body spasmed, reacting in a way I never knew was possible.  He moaned, and I twitched again.

Her desire is tangible in the air, she likes what she feels, and she wants more.

9 to go, I'm done for tonight though; hopefully I will finish tomorrow night. If not it will be sometime monday.

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Oh, that's better than making them bleed!! *mwahahaha!!!*

To your comment, it's far from better, it's worse. My sister is a Dom in a literal manner. And I've seen the way she can make someone beg. I'd honestly rather be beaten to a pulp; if Jacque was here right now he would be in complete agreement with me.

Hmm... seems like I'm not done for the night after all.

8 to go



Author's Response:

Yeah, but that's what makes it better in my book...and way more fitting too!!  But then, I'm vindictive that way. I'll take psych over physical anyday (and I practice martial arts!).  >D

Oh, and "cretins" was the final word choice over the string of prophanities inappropriate to the venue that were running through my head.  lol

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

I needed more.  I had waited years to feel this, and I wanted more -- now.

lust fills the air and emotions spike, she must have more of him, right then. He is probably feeling the same.

7 more *eyes take on look of insanity*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

"Undress me, Edward, please.  I want you to touch me everywhere.”

It's an order, yet at the same time it's a request, a plea. The desire would be clear from both her mouth and her eyes; her physicial tension.

6 more... okay now I'm done for the night.

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 17 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

The fire in his eyes made my chest constrict and my panties dampen.  Such delicious torture.

Lust, desire, a silent plea... She needs more yet at the same time the pleasure is great. She feels desire like no other. She needs what she knows will come, but she loves what is happening at the time.

5 more *muahaha*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 17 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Arching up, I let his hands reach under me to unclasp my bra, which after some fumbling he managed to do.  He grasped the shoulder straps and gently pulled them down my arms before dropping the bra blindly behind him. 

 I felt suddenly exposed under his intense gaze, and my first instinct was to cover my nakedness with my arms.  But his eyes were so full of reverence that I laid my shaking arms at my side allowing him to take in his fill.  

Moments of passion, desire, lust, need; may they not be regretted in the morning. There's a point in our life where we must have something. She needs what is coming in the near future, yet anxiety strikes. Her subconcious mind asks her what she is unwilling to ask openly. Is she really ready? Is this what she really wants? Can she ask for more? Is this the best she can do? Hee heart says no, but part of her wonders. Yet when she sees his look, his eyes; the desire in them. She knows, she can't get better than that.

4 left

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 17 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Yeah, but that's what makes it better in my book...and way more fitting too!!  But then, I'm vindictive that way. I'll take psych over physical anyday (and I practice martial arts!).  >D

You'd be in agreement with them when she asks them to choose; she will give them a choice of physical or psych (of course that's really the start of the psych) trust me, no one chooses physical. And by the end they will wish that they had chosen physical. (My sister doesn't have a second major in psycology for nothing)

3 more

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 17 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Bullsh*t review alert

Sorry, but I have to do Mr. Bunny again; I love him too much not to.

(/)_(/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

2 more

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 17 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

*Hands shaking slightly*

Official Bullsh*t review alert

:)

just one left *Muahaha*

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 17 May 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Moment of Truth

Pleasure ricocheted through me, my hips bucking and spasming wildly.  My hands moved to clutch at his back and shoulder as my body strained toward a new and unfamiliar goal. 

“Oh, God, Bella!  You’re so close, aren’t you?”

His hoarse, tense voice pushed me over the edge, and I exploded.  My legs clamped together on his hand as my bottom arched off the bed, my chest constricted with pulsating steel bands of pleasure, locking my cries in my throat.  My mouth stretched in a rictus of pleasure, every muscle tensed to the fullest, twitching rhythmically.  As I returned to myself and drew a deep shuddering breath I grabbed Edward’s wrist to still him.

My eyes opened, and I looked at him stunned and panting, aftershocks occasionally shooting through me.

“That was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen, Bella."

Her heart gives into passion, her body folds under desire. She needs this; she has to have this. He gives her wan; release. The sweet blissful feeling. He watches her intensely while she experiences the sensations that course through the mindset of her body. He his even more lustrous from the mere sight of what he sees. Yet some part of him has reeled in and he is once again a gentlemen. He wants her to have the choice to say no; to end it there. Even though he not only wants, but needs more.

*Manic smile leaves face, spark leaves eye, body stops shaking, madman laughter ends*

Lucidity has returned, I have contributed my thirty. *Whew*

P.S. I must yell at my sister, she is very far behind.

Reviewer: Tish Lian Smith Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 15 Jul 2010 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8: The Morning After

Well I'm a little late in the reviewing, but great chapter, love the smut



Author's Response:

LOL! Don't we all!  Thanks Love!