This is an interesting story, I don't agree with your opinions on Jake, but that's alright. This story has piqued my interest enough to keep me from hating you about your opinion of Jake. As my sister would say, you have a right to your own opinion. It is pretty well wrote and extremely intriguing. I look forward to reading the next part of this story. I would suggest you go series, that's what I would do.

P.S. I noticed that you have multiple grammatical and spelling errors. My sister, profile name, Jadiona (she's on Fanfiction, TWCS, and Twilighted), would probably be more than willing to beta for you, if you contacted her. She writes a lot of New Moon re-writes and would probably greatly enjoy yours.

Okay here it is, begging and berating officially begins. I will get you to fifty reviews on this chapter before five PM tommorow. Think I'm lying, watch me. *Grins manically*

“We’ve wasted too much time already.  I would like you to stay.  I want you, Edward. Here.  Now.  Like this.  I was ready to give my virtue to a stranger tonight.  I find instead I’m ready to give my heart and whole self to the one it already has belonged to and if I’m lucky, I’ll gain the same in return.”

I love that line, it's great. You know, perhaps it's good I'm reviewing over multiple reviews, because I can't possibly write everything in just one review. Well... I could, but it would be the longest review in history... hmmm... that's an idea. Like I said, that's a great line; I love it. Of course the reason is probably because I am seriously considering finally giving away (I'm 18, it's about damn time. Especially since all five of brothers and three sisters lost theirs before now) Oh well... that's enough for now... 19 to go. *still grinning manically*

He was right.  I owed him at least that much after what I did to him back in high school, my current humiliation and embarrassment aside.  My gaze froze on the roses, the spa card, and the chilled champagne on the table – suddenly seeing them in a new light.  Maybe this wasn’t about revenge or even sex; maybe it was another romantic offering, like the ill-received letter. 

This first paragraph show's Bella to be smarter and less dense than the Bella of Stephenie's creation, I like it.

*madman grin still in place* Okay, seventeen more to go.

“But your smile, your laugh, the shining spark of your mind and amazing wit, they were what drew me to you…and what made it sheer torture to sit next to you in class believing you thought I was lame for writing that letter.  All I wanted was to touch you or make you laugh.”

His voice had risen by the end of his declaration but became even more muted than before as he continued.

“It’s what haunts me even more than imagining the sweep of your breasts against my hand, or the feel of your lips against mine.” 

Well there's another section that I love. I can physically feel the passion between them, and it feels right. It's amazing how well wrote this chapter is...

Well, let's see, someone added a review, so I'm down to fourteen to go *grins like a maniac* (Oh, did I mention that I can be annoying)

“It was you I tried not to imagine as I prepared for tonight.  I kept cursing myself as a fool for wanting the lines from Sonnet 116 and the romantic gestures to add up to you,” I finally confessed.  “It was just such a shock actually seeing you and putting it all together – that you were CXVI – One-hundred- sixteen,” my lips quirked up in an ironic smile.  “My dream come true.

“Then when I saw you…I couldn’t imagine you could possibly return my feelings.  We didn’t exactly finish hight school on good terms.  I thought for sure you were just trying to ruin my only chance to stay in college as retaliation for unknowingly stomping on your heart all those years ago. You don't know how many, many times I've reread that letter, picturing you as the writer, just to imagine how things could have gone.”

I wish I could actually explain just what makes poetry romantic, but I can't. The whole idea of writing a letter and quoting Shakespeare - one of his poems no less - is any girls dream come true (Well actually its not, but it should be)

12 to go *manic grin still there*

I could see the sincerity in his eyes as he turned to leave and as much as it killed me, I almost let him go.  My pride and fear almost won out, but just as he put his hand on the knob to open the door, I knew if I let him leave, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.  I would regret it far more than I had regretted how I handled the situation surrounding the letter. 

Fear, insecurity, lost to oneself. In that paragraph the depth of her emotions should have physically knocked her over. Probably would have if she had been standing. Would he have truly left if she hadn't asked him to stop? OR would he have just got out the door - and maybe to the lobby - before breaking down? (Oh did I tell you that I have taken three analytical classes... and since you want fifty reviews I've gotten to the point where I'm reviewing having to analyze text a little [welll maybe a lot])

10 to go *Grins crazily*

“But I do want you to have the money.  Consider it a gift or an interest-free loan if you must, but don’t throw away your future when the means to stay in school are in your hand, no strings attached.”  

I love you, I want you, I need you, BUT I'm willing to let you go if that's what you want. Don't we wish all men were like this  

8 more *manic smile, manic eyes, manic twitch; hehehe... hahaha... muahaha*

Was I too late to fight for him?  Had my rejections hurt him too much?  Now that I had finally let him in would he leave me?

Sadness, fear, shock, horror, depression, light headed, increased heartrate, pale. One must ask why it is that our gender always seems to assume the worst. You ever notice that?

6 more to go *Insanity showing on face*

If I let him explain, could I be brave enough to confess what I had felt for him in the first place?  Could I undo my mistake from the past?  Could this disastrously awkward moment really be a second chance?

She hopes she can make up for it, but in reality she can't, so she's left trying to decide if giving him an actual second chance is smart, she's not sure, but what other choice does she have? Walk away, with Bella, not likely

4 to go *Manic face*

I had texted Alice when I was in the elevator.  I told her the auction winner was a prank so she need not expect any more texts from me tonight and I’d call her in the morning.  I even used the code word so she’d know the message was for real.  Still, I kept my phone nearby in case I needed it.

Nervous, afraid... She wants something - Edward. But she's afraid if she allows herself to have it, she will be hurt again. Hard to tell what to do in a dituation like that.

2 to go

*Manic smile leaves face, spark leaves eye, body stops shaking, madman laughter ends*

Lucidity has returned you now have fifty reviews *whew*

Okay... so I'm starting my 29 remaining reviews now...

And to start out I'm posting a Bullsh*t review (refer to last chapter reviews if you forget what that means) This is Mr. and Mrs. Owl (don't ask me which is which)

(O.O)    (-.-)
()__()    ()-()

Having divined the depth of his chivalrous character, I suspected I would need to make the next step.  

I took his hand, “Come.”

From romantic to needy, desirous to lustful. The heart knows what it wants, and it will take it. Very few humans or otherwise won't go to the extreme of becoming dominant in a moment of passion to take it to the next extreme. (At least that's what Jade has told me. Of course she's one to talk with her having a past in BDSM and all)

26 more *Laughs manicly*

I had never seen one, live and in person before, and found myself fascinated by the textures and veins, the almost shiny quality to the skin of the shaft as it strained up toward us and the more velvety texture of the tip.  I had never expected the leaking fluid pooling at the slightly gaping opening to call to me, begging to be treasured.  I stared fascinated as my hand slid over the coarseness of his thigh before lightly exploring the pouch at his base and stroking up to the tip.  He shuddered and groaned as I touched the tip, dipping my finger into the gentle stream of flowing moisture.  One day I wanted to taste it with the tip of my tongue, a desire I would have found shocking before today.

Curiosity, desire, want, intrigue, interest, need. The male body; a fascination of females. Yet in this case her reaction is most likely caused because she loves him specifically. If it was just any guy, she might consider it ugly or un-noteworthy or not regard it whatsoever; it's hard to tell.

24 to go.

I'm back; not for long though, I have a long day tommorow. Well actually so does Jade. We're both graduating tommorow.  Her from law school and me from high school (Thank Heaven; I am so glad to be gone, though at this point I would let Jacque take my graduation just so he could get away. The kids won't leave him alone now that they know he's gay. They've beat him up, twice - this last time landed him in a hospital. And our parents aren't any better.) {Life must go on}

I love your story though

Feeling myself all but panting with anticipation, I allowed my thumbs one last swipe at his… happy trail

cute, that's the first time I've heard it called that.

I led him into the bedroom. It was full of candles of all types: pillars, candelabras, and tea lights floating in crystal bowls of water dotted with fragrant rose petals.

The bed had been turned down all the way to the foot in our absence. I released his hand as we arrived at the bed. He watched me with rapt attention as I took up the long slender lighter and lit each candle before switching off the harsh lighting of the lamp. Crossing the room, I came to stand before him again. The flickering warm light of the candles was reflected in his beautiful eyes, and I was overcome with want and need.

Romantic, subtle, beautiful, amazing, lustrous. This describtion gives way to great though; not just to you, the writer. But to the character as well - Edward. This was his idea, he said he hadn't expected them to make love, hadn't planned it. Yet he must have hoped and prepared for it anyways. (Maybe subconciously he had wanted and expected it)

18 more, I'm done for the night. More tommorow night, maybe. If not sunday night or Monday.

Bullsh*t review alert.

since mouse didn't work out so well last time, I'm trying again.

l      _      _
l     (_)   (_)
l       (0 0)
l    ==(O)==

I hope that worked better

another 16

His hands slowly descended from my shoulders along the outsides of my arms and around to my back while his lips descended along my jaw, past my ear and down to my collarbone.  I felt him take a deep breath in before his nimble fingers grasped the zipper on the back of my dress to oh so slowly pull it down.  When it was all the way down he paused, I assumed to give me a moment to protest if I had changed my mind. I hadn’t.

Romance, love, lust, need, desire, want. He responds to her eyes, her physical body pleading. Yet he pauses knowing what he wants, and knowing what he sees that she wants. Yet he can't stop his instincts; being the proper gentleman that he is, he's been taught that a woman has the right to refuse. He must give her a good chance to refuse. He can't take before he knows beyond all shadows of a doubt. Yet part of her wants him to stop being nothing but a gentleman, all female like at least partly a bad boy.

14 more *Manic grin in place*

My chest felt like it was a heaving bellows, as I reached out to unfasten his belt, and free the clasp and zipper of his tux pants. They instantly fell into a matching pool of black around his ankles.

She is an extreme amount of lust and passion (This is one those things you really hope you won't wake up and regret in the morning). She recognizes some minor details yet at the same time she seems to fail to notice other things; like an erection. Boxers/briefs don't hide it very well. There is no way that isn't already hard, he has to be in as much passionate lust as her.

12 to go.

Certain my heart was about to pound out of my chest, I sank slowly down onto the edge of the bed and scooted back toward the center.  As though he was tied to me with a chain, Edward followed to settle on his side next to me kicking off his shoes and socks as he went.  His eyes followed his hands as they roamed the smooth expanse of my abdomen neatly framed by black satin panties and matching bra.  His breathing matched my own as he leaned in to place a long lingering kiss just above my navel.

In many he is connected to a chain, a chain of desire. He's beginning to forget his instincts to be a proper gentleman, and instead following his heart, his desire, his need. He can't help it, lust consumes him, demanding more of him, he has to follow.

10 more

Oh, that's better than making them bleed!! *mwahahaha!!!*

To your comment, it's far from better, it's worse. My sister is a Dom in a literal manner. And I've seen the way she can make someone beg. I'd honestly rather be beaten to a pulp; if Jacque was here right now he would be in complete agreement with me.

Hmm... seems like I'm not done for the night after all.

8 to go

"Undress me, Edward, please.  I want you to touch me everywhere.”

It's an order, yet at the same time it's a request, a plea. The desire would be clear from both her mouth and her eyes; her physicial tension.

6 more... okay now I'm done for the night.

Arching up, I let his hands reach under me to unclasp my bra, which after some fumbling he managed to do.  He grasped the shoulder straps and gently pulled them down my arms before dropping the bra blindly behind him. 

 I felt suddenly exposed under his intense gaze, and my first instinct was to cover my nakedness with my arms.  But his eyes were so full of reverence that I laid my shaking arms at my side allowing him to take in his fill.  

Moments of passion, desire, lust, need; may they not be regretted in the morning. There's a point in our life where we must have something. She needs what is coming in the near future, yet anxiety strikes. Her subconcious mind asks her what she is unwilling to ask openly. Is she really ready? Is this what she really wants? Can she ask for more? Is this the best she can do? Hee heart says no, but part of her wonders. Yet when she sees his look, his eyes; the desire in them. She knows, she can't get better than that.

4 left

Bullsh*t review alert

Sorry, but I have to do Mr. Bunny again; I love him too much not to.

(/)_(/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

2 more

Pleasure ricocheted through me, my hips bucking and spasming wildly.  My hands moved to clutch at his back and shoulder as my body strained toward a new and unfamiliar goal. 

Her heart gives into passion, her body folds under desire. She needs this; she has to have this. He gives her wan; release. The sweet blissful feeling. He watches her intensely while she experiences the sensations that course through the mindset of her body. He his even more lustrous from the mere sight of what he sees. Yet some part of him has reeled in and he is once again a gentlemen. He wants her to have the choice to say no; to end it there. Even though he not only wants, but needs more.

*Manic smile leaves face, spark leaves eye, body stops shaking, madman laughter ends*

Lucidity has returned, I have contributed my thirty. *Whew*

P.S. I must yell at my sister, she is very far behind.