Membership status: Member
Bio:
Isabella Swan, 21, a student at NYU, spends a passion filled night with billionaire Edward Cullen, 31. The next morning, he tells her that he wants her to be his submissive. She finds herself thrust into the world of BDSM, where pain is pleasure, and less is more. Follow Bella on this kinky journey, as she tries to be Edward's perfect little pet. But, is there more to the story?
Thank you BE1965 for the wonderful banner.
I'm ever grateful to RAH07890 who is painstakingly beta'ing every chapter. She is an essential to the story, and I'm so thankful to her.
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Angst, Erotica, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 26137 Read Count: 26179
Date: 29 Oct 2017 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3
I really like this story. I’ll be honest, I was hesitant to read it after trying “Trafficked Love” where I found a ton of implausibility that turned me off.
But I gave this a try and so far, except for some minor grammatical errors and misused words, this story is pitch perfect.
The characters are well developed and their motivations are very believable. And their actions are in-line with their personalities that you are fleshing out nicely. The pacing is good, and the tension is real. The descriptors are executed beautifully. The details are interesting and realistic. As are the characters. They are engaging and I find myself intrigued by them. I genuinely want to know what happens to them. I’m only on chapter 3, but was impressed already with the strong opening and subsequent development. I hope it stays strong throughout. If it ever gets finished.
**SPOILER ALERT**
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I was especially happy with Roselie and her response. I had a feeling she would be the one to knock sense into Bella. But I was very impressed with how she does it. When she says, “Last night you enjoyed all of Edward’s kinkiness, but now you’re judging him because he gave it a name that is taboo in our society. You were fine with him dominating you until he called himself a Dom; now, you’re acting like he’s a freak.”, I thought that was incredibly smart insight.
Hope you continue this.
Bella is a powerful woman, being wife of Edward Cullen,the head of mafia family of USA. Having lost her parents to human trafficking at the age of twelve, she never expected her adoptive family, the Cullens, to be involved. Secrets unveil and plots unravel, as she finds herself on the run from everyone she ever knew. But where do you hide, when your husband owns the entire country?
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 4359 Read Count: 1967
Date: 29 Oct 2017 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
**SPLOILERS AHEAD **
In the United States, spouses are legally protected from testifying and incriminating each other. It is illegal to arrest them and interrogate them about the alleged activities of their spouse. And you can’t force them on the stand as witnesses. This is not an obscure law, it’s pretty common knowlege. So your initial premise, that Bella was picked up and interrogated about her husband’s illegal activity is a profound fallacy.
A more plausible scenario would have been to have Jacob come to her on the lowdown, after orchestrating a situation that creates an unguarded moment when he could take the opportunity to corner her, using their childhood familiarity to keep her from calling out to her bodyguards and begging her to listen to him for a brief minute claiming he is only trying to protect her, then share his information and his suspicions and begging her to turn states evidence, appealing to her sense of being betrayed and lied to and instilling doubt in her mind about her current family. Then maybe shoving a burn phone in her pocket as a secret way she could reach out to him without raising suspicion.
Even without the issue of legality regarding spouse witnesses, the opening scene makes little sense in character development. The motivations are all wrong and implausible. Like, not likely. Bella is wife to America’s greatest mob boss, but she decides to just leave her detail behind to go for coffee? That would not happen. Jacob Black swoops down and arrests her, insuring he creates a hostile, irate witness that guarantees an unwillingness to listen? That’s just stupid police work. And the biggest affront to character development is ignoring the ready made connection Bella and Jacob have, having grown up together. It’s stated that they’ve known each other since childhood but the opportunity to capitalize on it as a story element is squandered. He doesn’t act like a familiar friend/acquaintance, but like a hostile enemy and worse, like a stranger. The fact that they know each other just kind of sits there as a throwaway fact. The unlikelyhood of the characters motivations is a turn off for the audience.