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Reviewer: jlou10dun Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Mar 2014 3:14 PM Title: Chapter 2

much easier to follow than ch1, like like like

only would ask for a break between jumps please

 

Reviewer: jlou10dun Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Mar 2014 3:02 PM Title: Chapter 1

I'm a fan of some of your other stories. this was a bit rough to read, as there wasn't a break or inditator to note jumps between people/scenes. So far, I like it, and hope for a little less bumps in words (missing/incorrect) and jumps as it progresses

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