Date: 13 Apr 2014 12:49 PM Title: Chapter 53
looking forward to more
Date: 13 Apr 2014 12:45 PM Title: Chapter 53
OH Tanya is going to through a fit when she comes out and Edward is gone, cut the string Edward before you lose Bella over this and where did Carlisle go I hope it was not to bother Bella
Date: 12 Apr 2014 10:23 PM Title: Chapter 11
Edwards just too nice
Date: 12 Apr 2014 4:12 PM Title: Chapter 52
Looking forward to the next chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you posting either today or tomorrow.
Date: 12 Apr 2014 1:16 AM Title: Chapter 51
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 11 Apr 2014 11:46 PM Title: Chapter 51
I still have a feeling she is going to trick him into sleeping with her nd getting pregnant, and if that happens and I was Bella there would be no going back I would raise these children on my own and refuse to see him again. I might let him get visitian rights
Date: 11 Apr 2014 1:44 PM Title: Chapter 50
I am glad that they had a come to Jesus talk. Edward needs to take control of the situation. He needs to see Tanya with someone else there for his own protection. Tanya will try to make a pass or minipulate him. I think Rose is a good choice for the meeting. She would not let it happen.
Date: 10 Apr 2014 11:57 PM Title: Chapter 50
Looking forward to the next chapter
[Report This]Date: 10 Apr 2014 10:56 PM Title: Chapter 50
bella is going to leave soon i feel it
Date: 10 Apr 2014 5:59 PM Title: Chapter 49
He is so stupid. The only way they will ever have any peace is that Tanya have to be six feet under.
Date: 09 Apr 2014 3:32 PM Title: Chapter 49
Edward better set Tanya straight and right now or he is going to loose everything that matters to him.
Date: 08 Apr 2014 10:46 PM Title: Chapter 49
looking forward to more
Date: 08 Apr 2014 8:29 PM Title: Chapter 49
really????????????????????
Date: 08 Apr 2014 7:33 PM Title: Chapter 49
Is he that stupid he really does not deserve Bella at all hope she leaves his selfish arse and she doesn't take him back he deserves the skanky Tanya not sure how you can possibly redeem this Edward he is hopeless although I wish u do!!!
Date: 08 Apr 2014 6:34 PM Title: Chapter 49
ooops edward really. Tanya is she now on drugs.
Date: 08 Apr 2014 6:02 PM Title: Chapter 48
you are doing a good job writing this. However one suggestion, it is very confusing when every sentence is a different POV. I get confused on who is "thinking". Less POV's would be better as well.
Date: 08 Apr 2014 5:57 PM Title: Chapter 49
Now I would lay down the ultamanim Her or me..
[Report This]Date: 08 Apr 2014 1:37 AM Title: Chapter 48
o no... Bad feeling she is going to run back to charlie again.
Date: 07 Apr 2014 3:49 PM Title: Chapter 48
Edward better be alert and clear thinking when dealing with Tanya. I don't trust her and neither should he. Rose needs to have a little talk with Edward to help remind him of this fact.
Date: 05 Apr 2014 3:21 PM Title: Chapter 48
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 04 Apr 2014 4:08 PM Title: Chapter 47
Edward better talk to Bella asap and let her know about Tanya. Edward needs to be straight with her. He should not have hugged her. What if Bella saw? She would get the wrong impression. She might have trouble with the friends thing as it is. Edward can't be wishy washy. He has to think of Bella and the babies first.
[Report This]Date: 03 Apr 2014 5:37 AM Title: Chapter 47
oh my tanya you are a whack job and need some serious help
scary tanya. bella is going to freak. edward needs to stay away from tanya he should no better, shame on him. bella needs to get away while she can
Date: 03 Apr 2014 1:09 AM Title: Chapter 47
uuuuughhh no
Date: 02 Apr 2014 7:02 PM Title: Chapter 47
WTF is he doing....He needs to let her go be with her father, and Bella should kick him to the curb if he wants to be friends with Tanya
[Report This]Date: 02 Apr 2014 2:39 PM Title: Chapter 46
how sad. she had lost control of her life
Date: 02 Apr 2014 3:26 AM Title: Chapter 46
Carlisle. I sorry but.your forgetting the s in his name it bothered me.
Author's Response:
Your right, sorry make sure I don't in future.
Date: 01 Apr 2014 8:55 PM Title: Chapter 46
Looking forward to the next chapter
[Report This]Date: 01 Apr 2014 6:19 PM Title: Chapter 46
wow. I didn't see that coming.
[Report This]Date: 01 Apr 2014 2:40 PM Title: Chapter 44
oh goodness i am thinking more stress for her to make this decision but then again she has stress working and looking after herself as well
Date: 31 Mar 2014 8:33 PM Title: Chapter 45
Victoria and Tanya are both pathetic
[Report This]Date: 31 Mar 2014 4:16 AM Title: Chapter 44
hmmm interesting.. what will she say. twins i knew it. lol.
Date: 31 Mar 2014 1:20 AM Title: Chapter 44
looking forward to more
Date: 30 Mar 2014 2:22 PM Title: Chapter 43
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 30 Mar 2014 2:03 PM Title: Chapter 43
Well it takes two to tango, and she knew he was married, she really didn't give him a chance to speak once the Tanya situation happen and she left town.
Date: 27 Mar 2014 11:14 PM Title: Chapter 41
Looking forward to the next chapter
[Report This]Date: 26 Mar 2014 3:12 PM Title: Chapter 40
good luck edward
again don't screw up. seems it comes easily for you
[Report This]Date: 26 Mar 2014 3:08 PM Title: Chapter 39
oh edward think before you react
[Report This]Date: 26 Mar 2014 3:07 PM Title: Chapter 38
oh tanya is losing it
i feel sorry for whoever is around when she finally tips and losses it
[Report This]Date: 26 Mar 2014 3:06 PM Title: Chapter 37
love the funds are frozen
[Report This]Date: 26 Mar 2014 3:05 PM Title: Chapter 36
man carlisle you are a loser
you lost your values along time ago
poor esme but she is strong and has her family she will be fine
Date: 26 Mar 2014 12:13 AM Title: Chapter 40
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 25 Mar 2014 11:43 PM Title: Chapter 40
excellent chapter, put the pov changes were difficult to follow, but I managed can not wait for more
[Report This]Date: 24 Mar 2014 6:02 PM Title: Chapter 39
Edward and Bella need to talk. They both still love each other. The whole incident was based on a lie from a crazy women. Edward just reacted because he wanted a child so bad and he would not want it raised by Tanya. If Bella would have told him about his baby, he would have divorced Tanya in a heartbeat. Bella would have respected him for being there for his child. I think Bella overreacted. Edward was being manipulated and Bella knows this. I think Edward needs to call and talk to Charlie before the visit. They can work on any issue before the visit. They can both state their cases and get to know each other a little bit.
Author's Response:
Thanks for your review. I really needed something positive about this story. I have been editing from chapter 1, up to 14. But had enough, will add new chapter tomorrow. Thank you
Date: 24 Mar 2014 1:44 AM Title: Chapter 1
The story started out kind of strong, but now it's just a mess.
multiple POV's usually only work when you use structured paragraphs, not just what the characters are saying. It reads like a movie script, but the dialogue makes them sound like teenagers, not mature adults like they're being portrayed.
I'd recommend reading some of the better fanfictions on this site to study how they use literary devices besides POV's to write their stories and give them some dynamic
Date: 23 Mar 2014 11:09 PM Title: Chapter 39
love this story thank you for it
[Report This]Date: 23 Mar 2014 8:29 PM Title: Chapter 5
Your story is interesting but your grammar and spelling makes it too had to read , maybe run it through spell check and a beta reader?
Author's Response:
Yeah I agree about the grammer. It is fine from chapter 11 though. The story would be better with a beta reader. I try to up date daily and some times twice and I'm struggling to do so. But If I bother to write a second, I won't make that mistake again. Thanks anyway.
Date: 23 Mar 2014 4:22 PM Title: Chapter 38
Forgive me but this is a mess.
Author's Response:
In what way?
Date: 23 Mar 2014 2:00 PM Title: Chapter 38
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 23 Mar 2014 3:06 AM Title: Chapter 37
Looking forwards to the next chapter
Date: 23 Mar 2014 1:31 AM Title: Chapter 37
more please!!!
[Report This]Date: 22 Mar 2014 3:59 PM Title: Chapter 36
yes edward got in his own punch. It is nice carlise hung him self out to dry.
Date: 22 Mar 2014 12:51 AM Title: Chapter 36
looking forward to more
Author's Response:
Thankyou, first fic so great to read nice reviews
Date: 21 Mar 2014 11:39 PM Title: Chapter 36
This is really good, can not wait to see what happens next
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing, glad your enjoying it. Loving writing it, especially when I get nice reviews.
[Report This]Date: 21 Mar 2014 9:40 PM Title: Chapter 35
Love your story... Love that you update a few chapter a day. Carlisle is crazy and Tayna.
Date: 21 Mar 2014 5:18 PM Title: Chapter 35
you go as mes throw him out of the house for all his b******* liesI also hope Edward kicks his ass for hurting Bella
[Report This]Date: 21 Mar 2014 4:02 PM Title: Chapter 35
ooooo fight... come on
Date: 21 Mar 2014 3:25 PM Title: Chapter 35
looking forward to more
Date: 20 Mar 2014 9:31 PM Title: Chapter 34
I hope she calls Edward and not Rose
Date: 20 Mar 2014 9:26 PM Title: Chapter 34
Looking forwards to the next chapter
Date: 19 Mar 2014 11:34 PM Title: Chapter 33
Carlisle is really lose in the head, he is going to hurt bella or the baby and Edward will be pissed
Date: 19 Mar 2014 2:33 PM Title: Chapter 32
Rose needs to inform Bella about the brewing storm. Bella needs to stop being selfish and let Edward be the father he wants to be. She knows deep down that he loves her. She needs to stop her childhood fears control her life. The baby is not just hers.
[Report This]Date: 18 Mar 2014 11:36 PM Title: Chapter 32
Great story. But what a crazy family all, except For Swan family.
Date: 18 Mar 2014 10:58 PM Title: Chapter 32
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 18 Mar 2014 6:48 PM Title: Chapter 31
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 18 Mar 2014 6:01 PM Title: Chapter 31
I still don't agree with Bella about keeping the baby a secret from Edward..
Date: 17 Mar 2014 4:40 PM Title: Chapter 30
I had a hunch about Carlisle and Victoria. He was too persistant about Tanya. There is a serious mental health issue in this family.
Date: 16 Mar 2014 11:11 PM Title: Chapter 30
I just knew Carlisle was messing with one of the ladies
Date: 16 Mar 2014 10:46 PM Title: Chapter 30
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 16 Mar 2014 3:36 AM Title: Chapter 29
THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATES. READ YOU SOON!
Date: 16 Mar 2014 2:32 AM Title: Chapter 29
What is up with Carlisle, are he and Victoria getting it on..or Tanya
Date: 15 Mar 2014 11:57 AM Title: Chapter 28
Looking forward to the next chapter
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2014 10:22 PM Title: Chapter 27
Love your story. Tanya is crazy. Update soon.
Date: 14 Mar 2014 6:09 PM Title: Chapter 27
She is a sick woman
Date: 14 Mar 2014 5:20 PM Title: Chapter 27
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 12 Mar 2014 9:17 PM Title: Chapter 26
Looking forward to the next chapter
Author's Response:
Thankyou for your review.
Date: 10 Mar 2014 11:24 PM Title: Chapter 24
I knew it, she is going kidnap Bellas baby and pass off as her own.
[Report This]Date: 10 Mar 2014 11:24 PM Title: Chapter 24
Love your story. So Tanya is not pregnant. Edward doesn't deserve to find out about Bella's baby. Can't wait for more update.
Date: 10 Mar 2014 11:23 PM Title: Chapter 24
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 10 Mar 2014 7:08 PM Title: Chapter 23
How could Edward be so stupid? He lost the best thing in his life. Tanya needs taken down and now. He knows that she is a lying bitch.Edward needs to find Bella, while she is pregnant. I don't want years to go by before they find each other again.
[Report This]Date: 10 Mar 2014 4:51 PM Title: Chapter 23
The pov helped me be clear on who is talking thanks
Date: 10 Mar 2014 3:21 PM Title: Chapter 23
So tanya is trapping edward. I wonder if marcus knows.
Date: 10 Mar 2014 1:56 PM Title: Chapter 23
Looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 10 Mar 2014 4:17 AM Title: Chapter 22
MORE PLEASE!!!!!!
[Report This]Date: 10 Mar 2014 2:32 AM Title: Chapter 22
could you please put in Points of view notes as I'm struggling to figure out who is talking or thinking from one sentence to the next. I find it hard to follow the story. But I do like the plot and the suspense.
[Report This]Date: 10 Mar 2014 2:26 AM Title: Chapter 22
Hope Tanya is not pregnant with Edwards baby. Please update soon.
Date: 10 Mar 2014 1:18 AM Title: Chapter 22
Tanya knows Bella is pregnant, and she will go away and find Bella and take hers.
Date: 09 Mar 2014 11:45 PM Title: Chapter 22
Love this story! Can't wait for more! Are you updating more today?
Date: 09 Mar 2014 11:37 PM Title: Chapter 22
looking forward to more
[Report This]Date: 09 Mar 2014 9:31 PM Title: Chapter 21
Love your story. Can't wait for more update.
Date: 09 Mar 2014 8:54 PM Title: Chapter 21
Oh shit, she is pregnant too...but if Tanyas baby is not Edwards wont he feel real stupid....and Bella you knew going into this relationship.
Date: 09 Mar 2014 6:36 PM Title: Chapter 11
MMMMMMMMM!!!! I WANT MORE THAN A TASTE!!
Author's Response:
Glad you like the story so far.
Date: 09 Mar 2014 6:32 PM Title: Chapter 10
KISSING???? I WANT A KISS TOO!
Date: 09 Mar 2014 6:24 PM Title: Chapter 9
A DATE HUH!!!!!