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Reviewer: Curlykate Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 27 Jul 2011 11:16 AM Title: Chapter 33 - The Aftermath

Such a fantastic story- thank you. 

Reviewer: Curlykate Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 27 Jul 2011 2:37 AM Title: Chapter 10 - Hope lost

Your story is so moving I have literally wept through the last few chapters.

Thank you for sharing it.

Reviewer: Marybeth Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Jan 2011 6:29 AM Title: Chapter 25 - The trials and tribulations of a newborn vampire

interesting

Reviewer: silverdoe Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 Aug 2010 7:25 PM Title: Chapter 33 - The Aftermath

That was an wonderous story thank you for sharing

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 11:18 PM Title: Chapter 15 - Reactions

:0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 11:16 PM Title: Chapter 14 - The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

ok maaybe all the sad stuff is out now? :0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 10:58 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Nightmares and Sleepwalking

:0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 9:49 PM Title: Chapter 12 - The Prophecy

:0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 8:44 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Hot lips

:0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 6:27 AM Title: Chapter 10 - Hope lost

ok this is seriously depressing and there's still more stuff that Bella hasn't told them? What more could there possibly be? Would it be possible for her to be changed into a vamp then she'd stop aging at least and not be breakable any more. Hope she's able to find some happiness soon.

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 5:54 AM Title: Chapter 9 - The friendly neighborhood vampires

Loved the "Hypothetically" :0) That's pretty freaky about Bella.

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 5:14 AM Title: Chapter 8 - Scared to trust you again

Too bad Garrett has to leave at least he brought the Cullen's back to Bella's life. Now I need to hurry to read the next chapter to find out whose at Bella's. :0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 4:41 AM Title: Chapter 7 - My life has gone to the wolves

looking forward to seeing what happens next. :0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 4:12 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Movie Night

I'm so tempted to say it again.... "Poor Bella" I'm glad the vamps are back in her life. They won't let her go this time. :0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 1:01 AM Title: Chapter 5 - Catching up with more tragedy

Yay she's staying a few days with them. Hope she opens up to them more. Does she really not know what clawed up her back? I also want to find out the parts she's not telling them. :0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 12:25 AM Title: Chapter 4 - I want to be sedated

Love how Bella is opening up to Jasper. I want to know more of what has happened to her. :0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Aug 2010 12:18 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Reunion (JPOV)

I really enjoyed hearing from Jasper. I had wondered what happened with Alice and Edward. Now I know.

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Aug 2010 9:01 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Reunion (BPOV)

Wonder what prophecy she was talking about.  Wonder if Jasper really went home. :0)

Reviewer: culleniwish Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Aug 2010 7:14 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Numb

Really love Jasper / Bella stories and thought I'd give this one a try. Poor Bella seems misserable. :0)

Reviewer: Ashley Peterkin Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Jul 2010 7:11 PM Title: Chapter 33 - The Aftermath

Wow...

I'm not even sure what else to say. That was just... amazing!

You have an absolutely brilliant mind. I can't believe you came up with all of this. I sincerely apologize for not reviewing before, but I was so enthralled in the chapters, I just couldn't look away. I honestly tried to read as slow as possible, really not wanting it to end. But, a full day of reading, and it's finished. *Sigh*

This is one of my favorite Bella and Jasper stories to date. That's really saying something, because I've read some fascinating ones.

Your plot, your storyline, your characters, everything... it was completely perfect to a tee. During the war, I kept waiting for Bella to freak out and have her shield come into play. Lol, it just happens in a lot of fanfics. You, my dear, went a completely different direction. I know I don't know you, but I am so proud of what you’ve accomplished with this story. I realize you have a heck of a lot more reviews at other sites, but to have a much smaller site such as this, and 97 reviews... well 98 now, that's just amazing.

I could definitely feel your own emotions while you were pouring out each chapter.

Okay, I'm done with the sappy stuff. I thoroughly enjoyed every fucking minute of this story. I look forward to see what's coming from you in the future.

Hope you liked my review. LMAO

<3 XOXO

P.S. I’ll post this over at FF too, strictly because I am a review whore, and I want everyone to know how awesome you are.

OH! One more thing. Lol. Sorry, I don’t normally talk this much. But, there is a story, a lot like yours that I think you would like. It’s called Sassafrass Junction. She’s working on a sequel now, where the government is ruled by someone else after the whole takedown. Not telling you who it is. Lol

http:// www. fanfiction. net/s/5578241/1/Sassafrass_Junction

Just move the spaces, and it should work.

Hope all is well, Sweetheart.

*Sigh* I'm going to miss this story.

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16 Jul 2010 6:08 AM Title: Chapter 33 - The Aftermath

Great idea for the new government having all the species involved.

I got a kick out of Jacob being the one to call the five vampires to drain the creepizoids (abusive husband and friends).

Aww, I'm glad that Jasper and Bella got married with all their new and old supernatural friends of all species in attendance.

This was a beautifully written story with its drama, angst, exciting action, reunion of friends and family, the making of new friends, discovery of love, and pulse racing passion.

Well done!

:D

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16 Jul 2010 5:22 AM Title: Chapter 32 - It all comes tumbling down

This was an exciting and beautifully emotional chapter.

I thought that it was fantastic when Bella healed both Marcus and herself, then turned around to use their darkness to punish Aro and Caius for the atrocities that they have commited against their brother, and a multitude of various other species, vampires included.  She was awesome; like a vengeful goddess of righteousness and mother/protector/guardian of all living things (an earth goddess?).

Bella's impassioned speech at the end was beautifully worded.

Well done--keep up the good work!

:D

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16 Jul 2010 4:48 AM Title: Chapter 31 - Brothers in Arms

It was good of Demetri to have given everybody a run down and very detailed description of the appearance and abilities of the various, most dangerous Volturi guards.

.-.-.-.
I'm glad that Bella told Jacob of the he££ that she went through (with her "normal" human boyfriend and child-bearing/motherhood experience) after her time with Jacob (to give him a better understanding of how she is more comfortable and accepting of being vampire, and associating with them).

Aww, Bella is a true friend/sister to have healed both Jacob and Paul.  It was both freaky and cool how she was able to not just feel, but also view, some of the anguish that Paul lived through during his childhood; at least now the hugh chip on his shoulder has been knocked off, hey?  LOL

I wonder how much of Bella's being affected by Paul's drained darkness had to do with the depth of his/quantity of his sorrowful/painful past, and how much from being thrown and possibly too distracted to have disposed of it (the darkness) like she did when healing Jacob.

.-.-.-.
I find the following to be brilliant and cool.  :D 

'... I could see who was worth saving and who was lost to the darkness. I could feel who could be healed and who lived for the darkness inside of them. I could sense many things, and the most surprising to me was Marcus. I yearned to help him, but I wasn't sure how to go about that.'

[Sorry about my having used BOLD in the above and previous reviews.  I have done so because for some odd reason the UNDERLINEing (I know, I'm suppose to drop the "e" when adding "ing".  UGH!  LOL) option won't work for me... go figure.]

.-.-.-.
Great chapter, very exciting and emotional too--well done.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16 Jul 2010 3:44 AM Title: Chapter 30 - Hungry Like the Wolf

I think that it is so cool how the tribal medicine woman told Jacob almost exactly the same thing that Beth told Bella and Jasper.

I loved how confused Jacob was when he and his back-up were presented with breakfast from Bella and company--too funny.

It was great of Henry to inform the Washington wolves of the coming battle, to stand up for Bella and warn them to keep their nasty comments about her to themselves.

Woo-Hoo!  WTG Bella for getting Jacob to see reason and drop his defensiveness and ask her to tell him more of the crap coming their way.

Great chapter and story--keep up the good work!

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16 Jul 2010 2:50 AM Title: Chapter 29 - Cinnamon and Caramel Rolls

Beth is a trip.  LOL  I love the advice/words of wisdom that she gives to Jasper and Bella about the wolves and their coming confrontation with "the evil ones".

Bella's true werewolf "friend" took the news of her being a vampire well; the meeting/news update of the Volturi threat didn't go so badly either.
;-) 

Aww man, just as one's heartrate picks up due to Jasper and Bella starting to get it on to join the Mile High Club, they (of course) get interrupted.  Phooey!
;p 

YA-HOO!  The true werewolves are going help out in the fight against the Volturi, AND they brought friends!  Holy Cow--32 true werewolves... how cool is that?!
=D 

Great chapter; the ending, with the 32 werewolves showing up made for an exciting close.  Keep up the good work!

:D 

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16 Jul 2010 2:13 AM Title: Chapter 28 - It's Time

OoOoo, this is a very exciting chapter with the news that the wolves will be playing a part in the upcoming battle--I'm stoked.
=D 

Aww, those poor guys in New York with their furry little problem (can you tell that I read Harry Potter fanfiction?  LOL) don't deserve to have the Italian Vampire Mafia, aka the Volturi (LOL), coming to slaughter them.  You know?

I'm looking forward to the drama that will occur when they inform the Washington wolves of the §hit storm that is headed their way.

Great story.

=)

.-.-.-.
F.Y.I.--error found:

'"... Aro's precious guard has come here to say he has deflected ["deflected" should be "defected"]. I mean no disrespect," ...'

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 11:15 PM Title: Chapter 27 - The Training

I love how Bella and Jasper get turned on and jump each others bones after, and occasionally during combat training.
;~D

Hmm, Bella can use her ability as a weapon--interesting.

Well done.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 9:28 PM Title: Chapter 26 - Warnings

Bummer about Aro being a paranoid moron and deciding to come after the Cullen family.

Good chapter.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 9:04 PM Title: Chapter 25 - The trials and tribulations of a newborn vampire

F.Y.I.--I found an error (at least I think that it is one) that needs to be corrected:

'It was like my gift allowed Jasper more control of us [I believe that "us" ought to be "his".], and his gift gave me more range of mine.'

.-.-.-.
I love how passionate they are especially after hunting.
;~D 

OoOoo, they sometimes project the lust they feel for each other while in the throes of passion causing the others to also jump their mates bones... where can I sign up?  LOL
;~D 

Well, Jasper's cleansing/healing went a lot smoother than Rose's--thank the gods.
:D 

It was so sweet of Rose and Emmett to have gotten an animal for Bella to feed upon due to her weakness from healing Jasper.

Well done.

=) 

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 7:54 PM Title: Chapter 24 - A rude awakening

Hmm, it is like Bella was experiencing a night-terror when she woke from the change.

I wonder if Bella is some sort of psychic/emotional vampire that feeds off of negative memories/emotions that taint one's soul/aura thus cleansing the person/vampire that she got them from.  Now all she has to do is figure out how to expell the pain associated from what she siphons off of the person/vampire.

Well done.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 7:26 PM Title: Chapter 23 - Don't play with your food

I cackled when Bella was insulting Aro and made referrences to the likelyhood of his penis being small--too funny.
:P 

Bummer that Jasper was forced to change Bella right then and there due to Aro demanding it.

Wow, I like the description of Bella's new bod due to the change.

Good chapter.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 6:41 PM Title: Chapter 22 - Leaving on a jet plane

I loved the following bit:

'"I would offer to join the mile high club with you, which I would really, really, really like to do, but I think that Carlisle might dismember me if we had sex in his brand new airplane before he's even had a chance to fly it himself," he said smiling. I burst out laughing.

...

"Emmett and Rose made that mistake once in the front seat of Carlisle's Mercedes. He separated them for a month and they were not allowed to touch each other. I was so miserable being bombarded by their emotions so Alice and I ended up leaving for a trip to Europe just to escape. When we got back I paid them back by making them sad or fatigued every time they were in the mood." We were both laughing pretty hard picturing that.

"Poor Emmett," I said.

"Poor Emmett? Try poor Rosalie. She was miserable, like a cat in heat. If she doesn't get her daily dose of Emmett, she is a cranky b!tch ...'

.-.-.-.
HA!  The need for more soundproofing to be installed in their renovated bedroom--I love it!
;~D 

Ugh!  Tall, dark and creepy Aro has arrived to... check up on the Cullens?  Investigate the probabilities of Bella's potential to maybe become a member of his guard or a threat to the Voltari (spelling?)?

How is it that he knew where to find the Cullens?

Good chapter.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 5:52 PM Title: Chapter 21 - Saying goodbye to Forks

Yikes!  I got the willies when I read the bit about Mike Newton.

Wow, Alice always knew that Jasper and Bella were meant to be together--neat.

Bella was a sweetheart to have had the wolf sculpture made for the gravesite of the boys (wolves) that died trying to keep Bella safe from Victoria.

Jacob is a marjor jerk.  I understand his being upset about the death of his pack members, but the crap that he said to Bella about her relationship with Jasper, and learning of her being not quite human was terrible, you know?

Good chapter.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 3:02 PM Title: Chapter 20 - Remembering

Aww, poor Twinkles.

I love how passionate they are together.
;~D

Silly Jasper, Bella is crying happy tears--sheesh, guys just don't get it, hey?  LOL

VERY well done.

:D

 

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 7:39 AM Title: Chapter 19 - The Denali Clan

This was a fun chapter.  I liked the teasing with Emmett, and later Tanya.

The shower sex was good, not very detailed, but it wasn't necessary because it would have slowed down the pace of the chapter.

Well done.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 6:59 AM Title: Chapter 18 - Mates

*::fanning face while breathing rapidly::*
Mmm-Mmm-Good!

I'm so stoked that they have finally consummated their love for each other, and in such delicious detail--freaking lucky girl!
;~D 

VERY well done--keep up the good work!

:D

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2010 6:24 AM Title: Chapter 17 - The end or the beginning

Mmmm, that sure is a yummy way to start the day by participating in some hot and heavy frottage with Jasper--freaking lucky girl!
;~D 

I found it to be highly sexy when Bella asked Jasper to be the one to bite/change her.

Holy §hit!  Bella died instantaneously right before Jasper's eyes.  It's no wonder that he freaked out; especially as it made him realize that he is in love with her.

Hmm, what is the deal with the wolf coming to Bella's side to mourn her death--cool, but creepy and strange at the same time, you know?

Wow, it is cool that somehow or other Jasper was able to produce tears whether it was due to his having felt grief or happiness when Bella came back from having died momentarily.
o.O

*SQUEE*
YaHoo--They love each other!

.-.-.-.
'As Carlisle started the truck up, I heard Rose say smugly to Emmett, "I win. No video games for a week."'

*::chuckling::*
Sheesh, they had a bet going as to whether or not Jasper and Bella would realize that they were in love--too funny.

.-.-.-.
Great chapter; I loved the limes at the beginning, and the discovery of love between Jasper and Bella.

Well done.

:D

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 10:55 PM Title: Chapter 16 - Sitting 'round the campfire

Jasper and Bella had a good talk.  I'm sure that it will help them to both heal and lead to their moving onto a new relationship.

Well done.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 10:22 PM Title: Chapter 15 - Reactions

It is great how everyone is becoming closer and expressing their need to have Bella as a part of the family.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 10:02 PM Title: Chapter 14 - The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

Dang, Bella's life has most definitely been crappily tragic, and in general suck big time--poor girl.
:C 

Well done.

=) 

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 9:29 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Nightmares and Sleepwalking

I think that it is cool that the bakery shop lady is distantly related to Alice.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 6:23 PM Title: Chapter 12 - The Prophecy

Wow, this was a very informative chapter; it explains so much.

=) 

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 6:01 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Hot lips

*SQUEE*
Yummy, Yummy, Yummy--I loved it when Jasper and Bella were making out--very sexy.
;~D 

Great chapter and story--keep up the good work!

:D

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 5:20 PM Title: Chapter 10 - Hope lost

*::tears in eyes::*
Oh man, poor little baby girl, and poor Bella too... I feel so sad for her at the end of the chapter because of her words that she spoke to Jasper as she was drifting off to sleep.

I can see where the healing part of the prophecy is coming in play with Bella's talk with Jasper.

Good chapter.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 6:46 AM Title: Chapter 9 - The friendly neighborhood vampires

Yikes, Bella can sure take a lick'n and keep on tick'n, hey?  LOL

Wow, to think that she bleed out, and still came back to life.

This was an intense chapter--well done.

:D

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 6:14 AM Title: Chapter 8 - Scared to trust you again

Bella's ex, Dave, sounds like a real piece of work, hey?

.-.-.-.
Bummer about how Bella's immortality works, ...

'As much as I want to, I can't die. I get to be immortal but I'm still breakable. I still hurt and I still suffer. I still age. I don't get to be extra beautiful like a vampire. I don't get extra strength or speed or ability. Basically, I get to be immortal but without all the good parts.'

.-.-.-.
I got a kick how of how Bella used the Cullens as an excuse to avoid the men hitting on her--very funny.
=D 

Garrett is a good apple, and a good friend to Bella too.

Hmm, I wonder if the heavy footsteps belong to Dave the dumba§§.

Good chapter.

:D

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 5:35 AM Title: Chapter 7 - My life has gone to the wolves

Interesting prophecy there; Bella now has been marked by three creatures of the night, now we need to see if it is true that she will never die.  I wonder what this next part from the prophecy means, that Bella 'would bring healing to thousands of souls'.

I got a chuckle out of everyone's reaction to Bella's comments in this chapter about the various creatures that she is acquainted.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 4:50 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Movie Night

This was a very tense and emotional chapter; bummer about Bella's belief that she needs to do the various drugs to cope.

Keep up the good work!

:D

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 4:27 AM Title: Chapter 5 - Catching up with more tragedy

Wow, Bella really has had a §hit time overall what with her dating, becoming engaged and then losing Jake due to his imprinting onto someone else; losing both of her parents on Christmas; her abusive boyfriend; depression and drug use to help cope with it all--UGH!

Good chapter.

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 3:37 AM Title: Chapter 4 - I want to be sedated

It was sweet of Jasper to have shown up at Bella's to check up on her.

.-.-.-.
'"Jasper, you are my savior," I said. I took a big bite and moaned. Jasper looked uncomfortable suddenly. "Sorry," I mumbled.'

Hmm, I'm wondering if Bella's moan had turned Jasper on.
;~D 

.-.-.-.
What the heck?!  It sounds like Bella's scars on her back were due to werewolf claws.  If so, why the heck did it happen?

Good chapter--keep up the good work!

=)

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 3:03 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Reunion (JPOV)

From chapter two:
'"Not for lack of trying and I wouldn't call it a miracle. I would call it a curse. That's what the carnival psychic said anyway when she was talking about that god damned prophecy. I don't know if she was for real or not but she at least knew of the supernatural world since she knew what Jake was, but that's neither here nor there," ...'

Regarding the above quote, this chapter repeats it all except for the bit underlined that mentions a prophecy.

.-.-.-.
I love all the additional information given to us in this chapter.  It is neat to read of all the comments shared by the others that Bella was not privy to.

OoOoo, so Jasper thinks that Bella is gorgeous--excellent.

What a bummer that Alice lost her life when she attempted to save Edward.

Hmm, the various scars to be seen on Bella are kind of scary to think about the harmful things she had, or may have, done to herself to receive them.

I like how all four vampires actually care about Bella and her well-being.

Well done.

:D

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 2:13 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Reunion (BPOV)

What a bummer that both Charlie and Renee are dead.  Talk about having a run of tragic events plaguing ones life.  I'd be depressed too.

Wow, I love how Bella got out of being fired by blackmailing Jimmy with the threat of telling the cops Jimmy's desk drawer contents--WTG Bella.
;-D  

Wow, that was intense when Bella tased the creep in the nards.  LOL

Curse, huh?  I'm curious about the prophecy given to Bella by the carnival psychic.

Good chapter.

:D 

Reviewer: TheMoreSmutTheBetter Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Jul 2010 1:15 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Numb

Bella sounds like she has a major case of "I just don't give a §hit"s--Bummer.
:C 

Reviewer: darkest-terror Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 7:05 AM Title: Chapter 25 - The trials and tribulations of a newborn vampire

As long as he has pants (for everyone else's sake), does it really matter if Jasper has shirts?

Reviewer: darkest-terror Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 3:57 AM Title: Chapter 17 - The end or the beginning

If Jas had asked me if I wanted to go for a ride, I wouldn't have been able to resist: "I'd love to, saddle up cowboy"

Reviewer: darkest-terror Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 3:13 AM Title: Chapter 13 - Nightmares and Sleepwalking

Ambien can cause severe hallucinations, as well as minor short-term memory loss. Read the label on the side if you ever happen across a bottle. I had an allergic reaction, it caused severe visual and audio hallucinations, they were frightening.

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 2:04 AM Title: Chapter 15 - Reactions

There were so many different emotions in this chapter, and I love how you portrayed all of them equally.

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 2:01 AM Title: Chapter 14 - The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

omg poor Bellla! She's really had a hard life, I'm glad she told the Cullens now though, she can start to get better and move on with her destiny

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 1:57 AM Title: Chapter 13 - Nightmares and Sleepwalking

Go Bella! Getting ready to tell the Cullens!

I  love the idea the Beth is related to ALice

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 1:52 AM Title: Chapter 12 - The Prophecy

Wow, this story is awesome! I love the prophecy around Bella ... I've never seen a story like this before ...

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 1:45 AM Title: Chapter 11 - Hot lips

I love the way their relationship is growing.

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 1:34 AM Title: Chapter 10 - Hope lost

I want to be cuddled up to that big, strong, sexy vampire!

 

OMG! You're Jasper os so incredibly hot!

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 1:21 AM Title: Chapter 9 - The friendly neighborhood vampires

Poor Bella, that's horrible! I'm glad she was able to stand up for herself and kill him without the Cullens help though.

I have to admit, I laughed a little bit when Bella said she had a tire print on her face ... not being mean or anything - The image of it just made me giggle ...

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 1:10 AM Title: Chapter 8 - Scared to trust you again

I love this new fun Bella!

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 1:02 AM Title: Chapter 7 - My life has gone to the wolves

Oh, Bella! Why doesn't she believe that the Cullens want her? I always hate that about her, she needs to hurry up and see that they all love her ... especially Jazz! lol

 

Rant over - onto the next chapter ... I think I can feel an obsession coming on!

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 12:53 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Movie Night

Awww, Bella and Esme! I love Esme!

 

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 12:46 AM Title: Chapter 5 - Catching up with more tragedy

I love this chapter and Bella remeeting all of the Cullens ... so sweet! And there is deffo something between Jazz and Bella!

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 12:36 AM Title: Chapter 4 - I want to be sedated

Was Bella mauled by Jake?

I can'r believe all the things that have happened to her .. and I have a feeling she hasn't shown all of her scars yet ...

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 12:23 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Reunion (JPOV)

What happened to Bellas' arms? Was she cutting herself or did somethign happen to her?

 

I wonder what happened to make Bella hide her emotions so much that Jasper can hardly even read them...

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 12:17 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Reunion (BPOV)

Jasper on a bike ... I'm well on my way to becoming a pile of goo on the floor!

 

So, they thought Bella wa dead for five years? And, has Edward moved on in that time? I hope so.

I'm loving this new stronger, bitchier Bella!

Reviewer: Bellavista Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2010 12:03 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Numb

I was just told about this story .. about how hot your Jasper is, so I couldn't pass it up.

 

The beginning is really intriguing; I'm worried where Edward is ... or was when Bella got attacked ... and why Jazz is hanging out with Garrett - I can't wait to find these things out ....

Reviewer: bingohappy29 Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jun 2010 11:01 PM Title: Chapter 33 - The Aftermath

that was really good iliked it and i like how it was   and the way that jasper and bella is together      i like the happy ending

 

Reviewer: TillITryIllNeverKnow Signed [Report This]
Date: 14 Jun 2010 3:13 AM Title: Chapter 33 - The Aftermath

While I'm sorry to see this story ending, you did an amazing job on it - an a spectacular job tying all the pieces together. I'm especially happy about Marcus and Siobhan!!  Bella's insights of Alice and Edward's deaths was especially well done here.

Reviewer: TillITryIllNeverKnow Signed [Report This]
Date: 14 Jun 2010 12:16 AM Title: Chapter 32 - It all comes tumbling down

Bella and Jasper...the perfect emotional couple!  A powerful chapter!  I loved it!

Reviewer: Andromida1964 Signed [Report This]
Date: 13 Jun 2010 10:50 PM Title: Chapter 33 - The Aftermath

I really enjoyed your story....took me awhile to read all these chapters though...lol.

Reviewer: HopelessRomantic Signed [Report This]
Date: 12 Jun 2010 1:23 PM Title: Chapter 33 - The Aftermath

Thanks for sharing your talent

Reviewer: sweetmel21 Signed [Report This]
Date: 11 Jun 2010 11:30 PM Title: Chapter 33 - The Aftermath

It was a beautiful story and I really enjoyed it.

Reviewer: theladykt Signed [Report This]
Date: 11 Jun 2010 10:48 PM Title: Chapter 33 - The Aftermath

woo hoo  they got married finally

Reviewer: jessabellew Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 May 2010 3:03 AM Title: Chapter 32 - It all comes tumbling down

Oh ya torture the other two and make them pay.  Very good chapter.  Thank God Jasper saved Bella and thankfully Emmett saved Rose.  i hope not to many people got hurt.  Thanks for the update and I look forward to reading what is going to happen next.

Reviewer: theladykt Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2010 4:51 AM Title: Chapter 32 - It all comes tumbling down

go bella

Reviewer: sweetmel21 Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2010 4:41 AM Title: Chapter 32 - It all comes tumbling down

Wow.

Reviewer: dkpatton Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2010 2:37 AM Title: Chapter 32 - It all comes tumbling down

Love it!  Can't wait to see what's next!

Reviewer: jessabellew Signed [Report This]
Date: 21 May 2010 5:59 AM Title: Chapter 31 - Brothers in Arms

No those dirty rotten S.O.B.s.   I hope they get whats coming to them and more.  thnaks for the update.  Paul's healing was truely great.  I can't wait to read more. 

Reviewer: sweetmel21 Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 May 2010 2:10 PM Title: Chapter 31 - Brothers in Arms

I'm definitely nervous about this fight.

Reviewer: theladykt Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 May 2010 9:23 PM Title: Chapter 31 - Brothers in Arms

go bella the Light Warrior.

Reviewer: TillITryIllNeverKnow Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 May 2010 4:22 AM Title: Chapter 31 - Brothers in Arms

Great chapter with a little bit of everything.  Jake being a pain in the !&%, Bella healing Paul's soul, the beginning of an epic battle, and of course the trust and devotion of Bella and Jasper.  What more could we possibly ask for?!

Reviewer: jessabellew Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 May 2010 8:57 AM Title: Chapter 30 - Hungry Like the Wolf

I sat down yesterday evening (well friday night since it is sunday now) and started reading this story.  I have a tendency to get really involved in good stories.  I finished catching up just know and I have to say that you have caught my attention in the best way.  I am a huge Jasper/Bella fan.  At first I was so heart broken over the losses that these two had went through and how Bella had been cursed then it all started falling into place and I am so ready for more.  I love your spin on the whole story.  I love the extra characters that fit right in with the old ones and the new ideas that you haave incorporated with everything else.  What a great story.  I look so forward to more.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you like it so much.  Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: jrichar6 Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 May 2010 8:40 PM Title: Chapter 30 - Hungry Like the Wolf

I LOVE it. I love it a lot, like tons. Please please please update again soon?? Thank you so much.



Author's Response:

I'm so glad to hear that you like it so much. I'm sorry this update took so long.  I try but real life keeps interfering.  Take care and thanks for reading!

Reviewer: vicki219 Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 9:11 PM Title: Chapter 30 - Hungry Like the Wolf

I really can't believe they are so hateful, after all all it wasn't her fault. Looking forward to the next chapter!



Author's Response:

I may have exagerated it, but I have always felt like Jake has a lot of anger inside.  It will all work out though.  Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 7:25 PM Title: Chapter 30 - Hungry Like the Wolf

good chapter.  Can't wait for more. :)



Author's Response:

Glad you liked it!  I'm really slow, but i just posted the next chapter!  Happy reading!

Reviewer: theladykt Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Apr 2010 4:37 AM Title: Chapter 30 - Hungry Like the Wolf

go bella. and the were's

Author's Response:

Don't worry, they'll kick some Volturi butt!  Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: theladykt Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 Apr 2010 2:00 AM Title: Chapter 29 - Cinnamon and Caramel Rolls

wow....whole bunch of real were's



Author's Response:

They aren't as closeknit a group as the LaPush wolves, but there are a lot of them.  They try to stay low-key. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: tuckerjnp1 Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Apr 2010 8:53 PM Title: Chapter 29 - Cinnamon and Caramel Rolls

Great story.  I just found your story Friday night and have been reading it all weekend.  I can't wait to see what happens next.



Author's Response:

I'm glad you like it.  Thank you for reading my story!

Reviewer: lmb Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Apr 2010 4:37 PM Title: Chapter 29 - Cinnamon and Caramel Rolls

I just found your story and read the whole thing straight through...I love it and now just have to hope you are a quick updater as we are almost at the climax!



Author's Response:

I'm so glad that you like the story so far and the best is yet to come.  I will try to update as quickly as real life will allow.  Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24 Apr 2010 2:52 PM Title: Chapter 29 - Cinnamon and Caramel Rolls

Well, at least Bella has found some helpers.  :)  Update soon. 



Author's Response:

They were hesitant but they came through. Just wait for the La Push wolves...

Reviewer: vicki219 Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Apr 2010 1:32 AM Title: Chapter 27 - The Training

Hehe Emmett crying like a little girl lol, love it!! I am so looking forward to the next chapter. It will be really interesting to see what Bella does with her gift in regards to the Volturi. Lmao imagine if she made Are bust out crying lol.



Author's Response:

LOL.  I think it would be good for Aro to shed a few tears.  I think everyone will like what I have planned.  It's not long now.  Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: DestanyRose Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 22 Mar 2010 10:16 PM Title: Chapter 26 - Warnings

I wondered when Aro would come back.  It is sad they have to prepare for war but I have a feeling Aro will stop at nothing to down size the Cullens.  I hope Bella will have a better handle on her gift and I have a feeling she will be healing a lot of people here in the near future.  Great job.



Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing!  I have lots planned and the confrontation will be soon.  Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Newbie12 Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Mar 2010 5:33 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Numb

Hi,

This is my first time reviewing fiction/fanfiction.  I just wanted to say that I thought the writing was very clear and strong. If you end up publishing this story you may want to condense some parts of the courtship between Jasper and Bella. But I just want to say that even the long parts were compelling. I think what I like best about your approach is that you have captured the essense of both main characters barely hinted at in Stephenie Meyer's original work.

There's a wonderful symmetry in your story. Alice and Edward had a very strong and intimate bond in life, although they were not sexual partners in life, but they end up dying together for each other (very much in the medieval romantic chivalric tradition). Their surviving partners find solace in each other in a very  earth centered carnal, but nontheless fulfilling way that is contemporary and modern. Personally, I think I prefer your story over Stephenie Meyer's(notwithstanding how much I love Edwardnwarts and all). Your take on the characters is much more truthful and genuine. This is a Bella I can finally respect and understand. At last, we have a vampire who is a man and mercifully acts like man.

I must say that your story is a much more satisfying. Normally, I am a very squeamish audience, but I think you handled the sexual intimacy with the right amount of balance without going overboard with the titillation. 

About Bella's language is her crudeness transitory? I understand she went through a lot, but personally, I can't stand the stream of profanity coming out of her mouth. Even Emmett doesn't talk that way. There are times when her bawdiness and crudeness are pitch perfect (her dismissal of Aro, the way she can make Emmett almost blush), but even with Jasper she uses the f word and I don't know, sometimes  I long for the polite non-crude Bella.

Anyway, I think what draws me to your story is the respect for psychic pain in the tradition of the great Greek tragedies. Bella's pain is expiatory and redeeming in a spiritual way, and I absolutely love that Bella's gift is to heal the soul. I think Stephenie Meyer for all her talk in the novel about the importance of the soul was all talk and no action. And how wonderful that for the first time we have a possible direction for Bella's "life's work" -- architecture. In the Stephenie Meyer's books I always wondered what she was going to do with herself. That always rattled me.

If I may offer a few humble suggestions for I am not a writer nor a professional critic I would like to see Jasper defend Edward. Jasper through his powers would have known how much Edward loved Bella. Edward was very flawed and his weaknesses cost  him his love and his life -- but that bit in the story where Bella says Edward was stuck at 17 or that he may have been too young when he was changed comes across as a cheap shot. If Jasper has to deal with Alice's overbearing and controlling nature through his grieving process, then Bella needs to deal with Edward's idealized notion of love. She concedes this in a way to Rose, but I think as part of her growth, she needs to really accept that Edward loved her -- and Jasper should be the one to reassure her.

I personally would want to see Bella propose marriage to Japser. In this story she is battered and broken and emotionally withdrawn when Jasper finds her. One of the most beautiful parts of this story is when she goes back to Forks with Jasper to visit her loved ones's graves. She does this as a final "human" act before committing to her new life as a vampire. Why not take that last exchange in Eclipse when Bella tells Edward that her final human act would be to tie herself to her true love. Bella proposing marriage to Jasper might be a metaphor for the human Bella to show that she is emotionally capable of committing herself. The marriage would be for her, not for Jasper -- he doesn't need it.

Moreover, it would be great to see Bella's version of a wedding -- barefoot, in jeans with a white woven cotton top and a wreath of flowers in her hair surrounded by a small group of friends and family. Maybe Garret can symbolically walk her down the aisle, and Carlisle can perform the rites.  Also it would be great if they could get married right before Aro shows up. Then Jasper's lament that he would have planned to change Bella differently and in a more intimate way would have more pathos.

About the yoga -- is that a metaphor for religion? Anyway, I like that you use yoga as a way for Bella to center herself. Jasper makes a very interesting comment to Bella that she needs to find happiness within herself. Perhaps there's a way to have her find peace through yoga during one of his hunting trips away from Jasper -- she hates being away for even 2 minutes. Just like Jasper learns to desensitize himself from blood, maybe Bella learns to develop some kind of workable balance.  Also, yoga has a very powerful erotic component that it might be interesting to explore. What I am getting at is it would be wonderful to experiment with some tantric yoga positions -- where the lovers twist themselves in unconventional ways for reasons other than feeling "hot."

About Bella's sexual awakening or lack of it, I am ambivalent its treatment in your stroy. The premise of your story is that she ended up with Jake by default because Edward never returned. She didn't get to make a choice like she does in Eclipse. In New Moon, we know before Alice shows up that Bella was ready to give in to Jake. He was second best-- even Jakes knows this. In your story the relationship progresses and they plan to marry, but it doesn't work out. Then she gets involved with a monster, David. When Bella and Jasper become lovers in your story, Bella seems unbelievably sexually liberated from the start. Personally, I don't buy it. She has been rejected over and over again. While it is credible that Bella would immediately be aroused by a very vibrant Jasper and fall in love with him, I don't see how Bella could truly be sexually aware and adventurous without a little bit more time and prodding and reassurance from Jasper. I think Jasper needs to teach (not remind) Bella what is means to be  sexually assertive and intimate. So I think there needs to be a conversation about her prior experiences. When Bella screams out Jasper's name, it is a big deal. It's a big deal because she is opening herself up, she is making herself vulnerable and she is letting herself feel (something Jake alludes to in New Moon when he kisses her in the clearing). In your story, there's a cute intimate scene with Bella screaming -- but is comes off as horny adult Bella, and not, this huge awakening. (Okay, I probably am overthinking this).


Is it possible for Jasper to take Bella to Texas to show her where it all began with him. (How interesting that Bella and Jasper are both from the Southwest starting out from relatively humble beginnings relative to Edward and Alice).

Anyway, I love your story. It is so intimate, so carefully and lovingly crafted. It's so mercifully mature and tackles some pretty interesting and worthwhile topics. Stephenie Meyer tapped into an intriguing archetype when she wrote the Twilight saga. I congratulate you on your brilliant rendering of that mystery and magic in your writing. I wish you much continued success as you complete your work.



Author's Response:

Thank you for your review and I'm sorry I'm so late in responding.  I also really appreciate the details of what you liked and didn't.  It's so helpful as an author.

I wanted to answer a couple of your questions. I'll start with Bella's language.  Is it really necessary? Probably not, but that's how I envisioned her after all she'd been through (and I have a bit of a potty mouth myself).  It is mostly transitionatory, but it comes out more when she's angry or aggitated.  I do understand that it may bother some readers.

I wanted to bring in and address some of the issues of their relationships that bothered me in the books and I thought Jasper and Bella being able to do that with each other could help them heal.  I don't mean for it to come across as focussing on the bad parts, although I can see where it may come across as such.  They both know that their former mates loved them, but I think it's also important to deal with the not so good.  Did I make it a little one-sided in a negative way? Maybe.  Bella's angry, so if some of it is harsh that is why, but she did also know that he loved her. It's hard to get that balance, but I tried.

I like the idea of Bella proposing to Jasper.  I wasn't really going to get into a marriage in this story, but I may yet do that.

The yoga wasn't really a metaphore for religion, although it could be taken that way.  I used it more for a way for Bella to meditate and center herself.  And yes, its a way for Bella to find happiness with herself. Her beginning of her sexual relationship with Jasper may have been a little rushed, but they'd gotten to be close friends before getting into a sexual relationship and when they finally declared themselves, I was trying to show that she was ready to trust again and willing to give herself over to someone.  Probably not perfect, but again, I tried.

Hopefully I answered most of your questions.  I really apprecitate hearing your thoughts.  Getting detailed critique really helps me go back and look and see what I can do better the next time and figure out what works and what doesn't so thank you for your time and thoughtfulness.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20 Mar 2010 3:33 AM Title: Chapter 26 - Warnings

I loved the touching conversation between Bella and Jasper and her and Garrett.  But stupid Aro! Arg!  Update soon babe.  You know that I love you.  :)



Author's Response:

Aro always seems to be able to mess things up. I can't wait to get to the confrontation.  We're almost there.  Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: HopelessRomantic Signed [Report This]
Date: 10 Mar 2010 2:13 AM Title: Chapter 25 - The trials and tribulations of a newborn vampire

Interessting gift, but so draining for Bella. Hope she manages to learn to use it without effecting so much.



Author's Response:

She'll have practice coming up. It'll be worth it.  Thanks for reading!

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