Date: 12 Jul 2017 12:45 AM Title: Chapter 108
Ok seriously I hope you are making Alice this unlikeable so when she is killed or cheats on Jasper or goes to jail all the readers cheer!! What a BITCH!! I Forgot about their mom dying during childbirth but who says that shit about the baby dying? She is such a horrible person but not in an evil way, in like "I am the most self centered person" kind of way. I wanted Edward to throw her out the window
Date: 11 Jul 2017 11:27 PM Title: Chapter 107
Man I'm with Edward (but you know that) Alice playing both sides, Alice causing drama...Riley could have killed Jasper because of her big trap!! This girl NEEDS to have a downfall!! Everything bad that has happened can usually be tied back to Alice. I can't believe that Edward has to kill Riley because he used to screw Alice!! I am bitterly disappointed! I liked Riley and he was a loyal hard worker. Just seems really fucked Up
Date: 09 Jul 2017 7:37 AM Title: Chapter 96
I think Edward is dead wrong in his assessment. They need to start fresh and not go backwards. They really have no foundation. Childhood friends who reconnect a decade later, spent 1 night of passion, caught up with each other and then was dealing with crisis after crisis. They have no clue who and what they are and Bella has no clue who she is without a man to prop her up. Edward is just as lost and clueless. He's jumped from being a hired gun for the marines to a hired gun for the mob. He has never had a girlfriend but is too selfish in wanting power, respect, etc. The 2 of them probably need to be alone and do the dating thing instead of playing house with a stranger
Date: 09 Jul 2017 7:09 AM Title: Chapter 94
You just wrote the perfect example of why people don't like Bella. She throws a temper tantrum, cries and has Edward running around like the nutless wonder. If she says "sorry" it's insincere and here she should be apologizing but she's crying in the bathroom. She doesn't work, go to school or anything and she "knows" what's up growing up on the block but she is clueless. Why not ask the question "why are you working so much?" Or "why haven't we been having sex". Edward is not Dr. Phil and I would have slapped her stupid ass like a 3 year old and out her in a time out...that's her level of maturity. But, once again, Edward feels like shit and she will run to idiot from the block Alice for advice which will be "he's an ass hole" and nothing will change. Will this girl ever get professional help? On the flip side, Bella just wanted to go to the court house to get married and they need to do that ASAP. I do think she deserves to be married when the baby comes to alleviate some of her insecurities
Date: 08 Jul 2017 1:05 PM Title: Chapter 92
If that wasn't the biggest Fuck You to Jasper I have ever seen!! God, give the guy a set of balls!! And why wouldn't they have arrested Emmett? If it's DEA as Bella pointed out then even if he was cut out when Jake gave up the goods, they would still have a case against him...I hope your not saving people because they were main Twilight characters. And your right Mobward stories are a dime a dozen but you are a super Mob writer and that's why I keep reading ðŸ“–
Date: 08 Jul 2017 12:43 PM Title: Chapter 90
I don't think Edward's anger was misplaced. As fragile as Bella is, he has to get real with her...I get her calling when the cops started swarming but her non-stop calling saying she was worried is a line of crap. This needs to be step 1 in her getting some thicker skin...Edward can't be doing a hit and have her calling because she's afraid he will be upset that's she making hamburgers instead of spaghetti. I'm hoping the next few chapters are Edward/mob related so we can get a break from her
Date: 08 Jul 2017 11:21 AM Title: Chapter 89
I had to come back to this chapter and say 1 thing...is Edward even going to be able to WORK? Jesus, he was gone an hour and she called twice? Right after she says she lived on the block and knows what's up? He wasn't meeting a nobody. Bella needs to get her head out of her ass!
OK, and one other thing...Jasper never left the block, had a huge chip on his shoulder about the whole thing and now (actually since they went to the club) Carlisle and CJ are full of trust for him and are fine with him knowing stuff yet they never involved him till Edward came back? He and Bella struggled and struggled and they just watched? That doesn't make any sense. Just because Alice is boning him I don't think that would open doors right away for him...maybe eventually but for Carlisle to trust him with his daughters life? A guy who doesn't even have a gun? If you can't tell, I REALLY want Alice out of the picture. Her periphery presence is soiling the story.
Date: 08 Jul 2017 10:15 AM Title: Chapter 86
Man, talk about some high maintenance issues to deal with in a new relationship! Edward is being overly optimistic and although he has good intentions, no man is going to want to be with a "woman" who can't even decide if she should watch TV. The professional help seems to be placed on the back burner where I think it needs to happen NOW!! She feels somewhat secure so it's now or never!! Also, she needs new friends!! CJ knowing she was pregnant was the final straw for a situation that was going to be terminated. Alice is a total POS...who talks to a dudes sister about her brother not going down? She is just a self centered little bitch!!!
Date: 04 Jul 2017 11:01 AM Title: Chapter 69
I'm glad they are having honest communication it's about time!!! I think Edward was just trying to do the right thing I mean he was dealing with a rape victim so if he started playing grab ass? It probably would have back fired. I'm glad she told him that Jake raped her all the time. The only question plaguing me now is why Alice told Jasper since she had already loaned Bella the money. Maybe Bella needs to tell Jasper about Riley or maybe she should tell CJ what's up since she likes to screw all his low men? I am so damn mad about that and Alice needs a taste of her own medicine
Date: 03 Jul 2017 5:09 PM Title: Chapter 67
Is this the final straw with Alice on both accounts? (1) she stole those keys from CJ (WRONG), (2) Bella finally gets the nerve to talk to E and she picks that time to "gossip" to Jasper about Bella being pregnant (WRONG...bad friend & shit starting girlfriend), (3) tries to fight Bella knowing she's pregnant AND that she is the catalyst for EVERYTHING that happened? Who needs that in their lives on all fronts!!! They all have enough to deal with & Jasper loves Bella too much to let this slide. She was a good friend this past month but the min she could make it all about her, she totally went for it!! She is the definition of a cooz!!!
Date: 03 Jul 2017 10:10 AM Title: Chapter 63
Edward is on point...considering he has no clue she is pregnant this conversation makes perfect sense. Plus she was acting weird before she found out because she won't get counseling and Alice and Rose don't count because In General their advice sucks and Bella hasn't been honest with ANYONE so how can she move forward. It's actually really sad because she is looking for something to fix her and she needs to fix herself
Date: 03 Jul 2017 12:56 AM Title: Chapter 58
Oh my WOW...I thought she was acting idiotic but this takes the cake...she tells him there's another guy??? Is she going for the jealousy card? I am totally baffled and Bella the victim? Again? Is it so hard to say "I have a problem that I'm trying to work on and I can't talk about it right now"...I'm trying to figure out if she just chose her words poorly or what exactly came out of her mouth. If she is that terrified, I know with her love of children she could not get an abortion but Jake IS DEAD so if she doesn't want to tell Edward then say it's Jake's kid and be a single parent...shit IDK but I don't think Edward has done anything but treat her like a princess until this moment and has been 100% loyal to that family so what she is doing is such a slap in the face to who Edward's character has proven himself to be...she doesn't deserve him
Date: 03 Jul 2017 12:42 AM Title: Chapter 57
She is a grade A moron!!! Cries when Rose interrupts, then acts all weird when he makes a move? I can see Edward being physically attracted to her but a connection? Whatever thin reason he has been holding a torch over has to have just flown out the door. Just the fact that she refuses professional help and thinks Jasper or Edward can be her salvation for being raped is a lot to put on anyone. I know she's pregnant which like all FF is always a reason to be insane which I have never gotten. Anyway, still like the story and was starting to like Bella but this one and the Bella POV chapters have slid her backwards. I would love a Jasper POV chapter because Jasper and Alice are NOT right for each other and she is a stalker which is pathetic...using Bella to entrap Jasper!!
Date: 01 Jul 2017 11:15 AM Title: Chapter 49
I know this comment is A little late but is Emmett a moron? Why would he take Jake's side at Colloni'a house? Seems very foolish in this line of work. Also, still not feeling Alice & Jasper...she's pulling the 'ole ill use my friend to get to her brother and Rose half ass stood up for Bella but since Emmett became her man, it was pretty weak. No wonder Bella kept her mouth shut...with friends like them, who needs enemies
Date: 28 Jun 2017 10:16 AM Title: Chapter 35
That was incredible sad and I partially understand Bella and the feeling of being taken advantage of or being with someone and not wanting to but doing it because it's your duty. I have a whole new view of her...I was 17 going on 18...boyfriend 26, drug dealer...ugh bad memories
Date: 26 Jun 2017 9:51 PM Title: Chapter 29
Hey I appreciate your intro and you made a really good point about Nella being a typical immature 18 year old...no need to push the J&A connection though. Every time you see her name...her telling Bella "were the type of girl you marry" then it turns out she's been screwing married men? I will say that Jasper seems like he has standards and I don't think A - he would get involved with her simply because of her family and B - he is to proud to date someone seriously who has cruised the block like Alice...just fitting the pieces of your character puzzle ðŸ˜Š
Date: 23 Jun 2017 7:22 AM Title: Chapter 22
Edward should just leave Christ on a cracker, he lives with the girl and she's with Alice? Sorry, but this is just too much of a push and Edward is sitting next to Jasper who is the only reason he is not taking the bait so why would anyone chose to stay?
Date: 23 Jun 2017 7:16 AM Title: Chapter 21
Oh come on...let Edward hit Christy or whoever she is...also, CJ would not be letting 18 year old girls in his club so the cops get called? This Bella is no BeBella...she's an idiot!! I hope she grows a brain because Edward is pretty worldly and I just can't see him with a whiny baby.
Date: 22 Jun 2017 5:48 AM Title: Chapter 20
Hey, I'm actually totally fine with Edward hitting someone else and these die hards need to step off...Bella is technically off limits and he needs to get it in...Bella HAS a boyfriend so she is providing her services to her man. It's more realistic what's going on. Ya, he's thinking about her but he is also confused about his feelings little sister, temptress, idiot? He's not sure what she is or how he feels so let Edward play the field...he will figure it out.
Date: 21 Jun 2017 8:46 AM Title: Chapter 16
Sorry, Jasper is a douchbag!! He lets Edward buy him a new wardrobe and accepts $200 but he scoffs at him getting something for himself and Bella and then being the selfish ass he is, says "oh, buy a new car so I can be yo wing man bro"...whatever!! I think Edward has repaid him in spades!!! Now let's sit back and talk watch Judgy Jasper get bent out of shape when someone else rises in said car
Date: 18 Jun 2017 12:43 PM Title: Chapter 15
What? Because Edward crashes at his place for a few days Jasper's now his business partner? I didn't even understand why he sat down when CJ left the restaurant. I think a man like Carlisle would have given Edward that information in private and Jasper was just rude!! Especially after he has done nothing but bad mouth the family since Edward arrived. What, he afraid Edward was gonna turn dope slinger in a single "nice to see you again"? I am a little put off by him and Bella but I hope Bella will grow on me.
Date: 20 Apr 2017 9:38 PM Title: Chapter 123
Wow. this is amazing, but i just hate Carlisle so much. its sad to know the position Elizabeth is in, but i hope that - if Edward does find out - he keeps his composure until he's within touching distance of replacing Carlisle, and then take him out. E didnt like it when Bella was in that position wth Jake so Im sure he'll be distraught hearing that Carlisle was the reason his mother was/is they way she is.
anyway, I haven't found a good modward fic in a loongg time, i'm still working my way through the 'Quiet Storm' stories which are fucking awesome, and i read Bold Gestures ages ago which was also bloody amazing!
I hope you get the inspiration to update this story, you are an awesome writer! thank you for sharing this story with us xx