Date: 22 Dec 2013 7:15 PM Title: Chapter 18
This time we got to see her school life and personal life coming together. I hope that they are going to be okay. I am getting nervous about the future, and he is still struggling with either jealousy or insecurity. That will grow tiresome quickly,
The lemon was so hot, but the rest stop was scary! It reminded me of the time when he took her back to the restaurant and had the same waitress. I think that she is finding the downside to her exhibitionism.
I really liked her idea about learning how to top so that she can understand him better. She is always so thoughtful and apparently good at being in control. The things that she said during the last lemon were just...wow!
To take a line from Ember, "where did you go"? I caught up to you on this story but saw that you haven't updated since the summer. Are you coming back to it? I hope so, because I really like the couple and want to see how they will handle the distance.
Thank you so much for reviewing as you read! You have no idea how much I needed some positive feedback and actual insight to what people are reading. I will finish it but right now I am just a bit stuck. I know how I want it to end but am having trouble getting there. I'm also writing a story for a fandom gives back copilation. So it may be after Feb 12 before I can update this! Thanks again for all the awesome reviews.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 7:03 PM Title: Chapter 17
Black Friday at Wal-Mart. I have been there, so I could relate. Her dad was hilarious, like a kid almost. I liked that they ran into one of Levi's co-workers. It was nice to have his professional life and his personal life meet up to see how he would handle it.
The Skype session was hot and a good practice run for later. I am glad that it went well and that she told him that she needed her Master. It is good that she recognized it and voiced it. He probably needed that encouragement.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 6:55 PM Title: Chapter 16
I cannot believe her parents! I guess we know where Ember's wild side comes from. So her parents have a D/s relationship!!! I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, but the "did she just say, Sir" part was so funny!
I am glad that they are talking about their future. The Skype idea was brilliant.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 6:44 PM Title: Chapter 15 - Meet the Parents
How did her parents go from arriving after ten to arriving at eight-thirty? They got so busted. Her parents are awesome. I can't believe her dad was so laidback about it. She is the baby of the family after all.
I liked the scene with them cooking together. He is so capable all the time so the apple cutting was hilarious! I loved the line about fairy tales and him saying that he needs her like a drug. I love the way he refers to her body opening up to him like a flower. He seems almost in awe of her sometimes, and it's sweet.
The lemon was hot. That girl is so mischievous little thing!
Date: 22 Dec 2013 6:33 PM Title: Chapter 14- Starting Over
I just love Ember. She is adorable. It was so cute that she recreated their first date with the outfit and the meal. They had the conversation on the couch that they probably should have had on their first date too. He should feel like a jackass that he didn't know about her childhood and her family. Haven't they been together for a few months by now? I kinda see her point about him not thinking about it due to his situation, but that could only be an excuse for so long.
I am glad that they are really talking now and still being playful. It would be tough to get back together if it seemed like a chore.
So after a lot of soul-searching on both of their parts, they are back together. You did such a good job with the lemon. That first time needed to be loving and sweet and it really was. I am happy for them.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 6:21 PM Title: Chapter 13
Great chapter. They really communicated and cleared the air on a few things. He is correct on the way he handled the love side of the relationship. She said that she has never been in love. Has he? My guess would be that he hasn't.
The final scene in the coffee ship when she pressed their foreheads together and closed her eyes was so moving. It shows that she still loves him and that there is still hope for them.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 6:13 PM Title: Bonus Chapter for my faithful reviewers
Ember really is an amazing person. With all that she is going through, she felt the need to comfort him both that night and then night when she saw him passed out and even made sure that he would be taken care of. It seems like she is hurting more from the mixed messages and miscommunication than from the event itself. She recalled the event and explained her feelings so well. Where do they go from here?
Date: 22 Dec 2013 6:02 PM Title: Chapter 12
It is interesting that it all came back to him in his dreams. I agree with part of what he said about it being a beating and think that each stroke after nine, when she safe worded, up to twenty-three were a beating. Plus the original 10 for wearing the panties seems like too much, based on previous punishments (esp with a cane). He just lost control. It makes you wonder if this happens more frequently given the turn of events.
I am really disappointed in how he is handling the aftermath. Getting so drunk that he isn't going to work for a week and a half! Really!?! This is a very immature reaction to a very grown up problem. I hope that he doesn't lose his job on top of losing his girl.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 5:50 PM Title: Outtake For Christmas!
Can we say double standard boys and girls? So he can put his mouth on another woman and get sucked off by another woman but freaked out that she leaned on Reese?!? I assume that this scene happened before the incident at the party, so that only makes his reaction that much worse. I don't understand him!
This was just an outtake. Really it was a future take, not a part of the story. I'm sorry that it was confusing.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 5:43 PM Title: Chapter 11
This was a tough chapter. I don't really understand such a strong reaction to her being touched esp since it wasn't in a sexual way. Is there some kind of problem in his past with being cheated on or with Reese specifically?
I suppose many couples in this type of relationship hit a bump or two along the way esp with one being new to the lifestyle. I am surprised it was the experienced one that messed up so badly. Hopefully Olivia will be able to help her as I doubt Levi will be a comfort to her now.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 5:26 PM Title: Chapter 10
Ropes and dildoes and cameras, oh my! That was hot!
He was sweet to let her sleep by cleaning up for her and staying in the playroom. It is interesting that even though he is older, it is he who is having the horizons broadened.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 5:14 PM Title: Chapter 9
Ember is so fun, even pushing her limits with dinner. Her outfit is so cute and sexy at the same time. I am glad that she was able to go to the party and get exposure to some different types of BDSM.
I loved her response to their time in the playroom. She is really embracing her role and so disappointed to upset him. I must agree with her response to him calling her like a dog though. I have never liked the degradation aspect.
I am getting concerned about Reese. He is a little too interested in Ember for Levi's taste.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 4:51 PM Title: Chapter 7 – Just say it!
I loved that he had good news and was so anxious to share it with her. The dancing date was fun. Has she been a dancer in the past?
He finally told her (even if he didn't mean to). She has been so patient with him and is really mature for her age! The lemon was sweet.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 4:43 PM Title: Chapter 6 - Thanks for watching.
Ember is such a wild little thing coming from a plug and paddle. The drive in activity was right up her alley. He is really stepping out of his comfort zone for her and finding it to be so much fun. She is really good for him. Now if we could just get him to admit it...
Date: 22 Dec 2013 4:39 PM Title: Chapter 5: Something to talk about.
This chapter was so great for relationship development. I loved when he was watching her studying outside from the window. He is falling for her so hard. I can't believe that they did that outside, but she is into that sort of thing. They made love for the first time, and she loves him. So sweet.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 4:30 PM Title: Chapter 4: There's a first time for everything.
This chapter was action packed..sexting, phone sex, couch sex, and a trip to the playroom. Wow! I love the way he is slowly teaching her to be a submissive. He gave her a great introduction in the playroom. Also, liked that he was given an opportunity with another girl and turned it down. It let your readers know where his head is about their relationship.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 4:20 PM Title: Chapter 3: Can I keep you?
Yay, they made it to the playroom, and she didn't freak out. Things are working out so well. Great lemon. I love the way that he pays such close attention to her reactions and knows just what to do. Yum!
Date: 22 Dec 2013 4:14 PM Title: Chapter 2: Where have you been all my life?
So..that was fast, but they are so attracted to each other that I guess they couldn't help themselves. He planned such a sweet, romantic date. It must have shown her that he is really interested in her. I love his inner monologue.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 4:05 PM Title: Chapter 1; Nice to Meet You!
I haven't ever read an original story on fanfiction but gave this one a try, because I liked your two Emmett/Bella stories. I am so glad that I did. This is great.
They really have sparks flying and such playful banter. I love the cute outfit she put together for their date. I can't believe what they did at the restaurant! It looks like a good story so far.
Date: 27 Jun 2013 7:36 PM Title: Chapter 13
I noticed this story yesterday and have read the first 16 chapters, but RLbeckons and I have to wait to finish the rest. It's a good read, I like the characters especially Levi. More police story would be interesting but you may be writing for a specific audience. You write well. I am betting that if your characters were named Bella and Edward you would have 10 times the readers, it's just the nature of the ff beast. I like D/s and the word 'master' caught my attention so i clicked. Sorry to go on so long, I am marking this as a favorite even though i never get TWCS update notices, can't figure out how to make that work, not for want of trying. I'm a fan and will keep checking for more Levi and Ember. I don't trust Reese much but all stories need a villain :) Thanks.
Thanks for reading! I love the longer review! I'm sure you are right about it not being Fanfiction. Thanks for taking time out of RL for Levi and Ember, I promise they will be worth it.
Date: 03 Jun 2013 3:23 AM Title: Chapter 16
My ex's dad once told me after me and my ex had only been dating week or two. My ex and I were talking about taning and I had mentioned that I hated tan lines. At that time my ex's father said. "It's the white parts that are then fun parts." I turned sooo red. Thank goodness my father in law has never said anything like that. Though at a sex toy party my sis in law hosted my mother in law kept coming over and standing and looking over my shoulder at the magazine and could not understand why I was weired out by this. Those are my odd stories :)
My husband's family has no problem talking about sex. At first I thought it was strange. Now I'm just as bad as they are!
Date: 09 May 2013 2:54 PM Title: Chapter 13
Uggggh I know what he did was wrong but earlier she wanted to love him....she is all over the board! More pleeease :-)
She still wants to love him. She is just finally seeing the problems in their relationship. They won't stay apart too long.
Date: 03 May 2013 12:02 AM Title: Chapter 13
I hope they figure it out... It's so hard to see them apart!
I am a firm believer in Happily Ever After! They do need time though to get their feelings sorted and make up for time lost being sex addicts!
Date: 02 May 2013 11:55 PM Title: Chapter 13
So glad you are back to this story and hope these two work it out
I had a rough few months back in the fall and then writer's block so now I'm on a roll and hope to have it finished by the end of May. Thinking of publishing it!
Date: 30 Apr 2013 11:46 AM Title: Bonus Chapter for my faithful reviewers
I know that Levi is really beat up about it, but he still broke her... please don't let them make up easily and the letter did express her feelings right? I think he should still read them cause it will also help them both to make their relationship better, without him knowing it feels like they can't move forward....
Furthermore I'm really interested in what kind of role reese is going to play (my thoughts going from "does he like her in some way??? and "Nooo Olivia is amazing", just really looking forward to next chap)
I really like the emotional depth you're now trying to give the story. Would also really like to know what Reese POV and Olivia's POV is!
Pleasekeep it up!
Yes the letter was her feelings. She is still kind of all over the place but she's seeing things a little more clearly now.
I won't be writing from any other POV's (at least I don't plan to). I'm not a fan of stories that switch pov all the time.
Date: 28 Apr 2013 3:20 PM Title: Chapter 2: Where have you been all my life?
It has to be amazing when you're able to connect with someone so easly and quickly, to feel so comfortable and free.
He's been letting her ake the lead innmany things and ways he isn't used to and doesn't allow,mbut as he said, he wants and needs to know her, ASAP.
Ever had a relationship that took off that easily? It's an overwhelming feeling!
Date: 28 Apr 2013 5:05 AM Title: Chapter 1; Nice to Meet You!
It was coincidence that got them to meet each other, they took the opportunity and Levi seems more than willing to explore what there might be. Good for them he's an "all the way" guy.
Thanks for reading! I really appreciate the review too!!!!
Date: 24 Apr 2013 12:41 AM Title: Chapter 10
Ah yeah. I'm just gonna go see what my husband is doing :-)
You crack me up! This story has been a major player in my marriage! Nothing like writing out some fantasies for the Hubs to get a clue!
Date: 23 Apr 2013 10:19 PM Title: Chapter 12
Good so far I feel bad for him but still he abused her trust and kinda deserves it
Yeah that's how I feel too!
I can't send private messages so to get Ember's pov you'll have to go to my Facebook page and join the group Frogie48's Extras.
Thanks for the review!
Date: 22 Apr 2013 6:49 AM Title: Chapter 12
I think Levi got what he deserved here. He should have never went off in his own mind giving a punishment that was his fault for being unattentive. Can't wait to read the letter.
I can't wait to write the letter and get inside Ember's head.
Date: 22 Apr 2013 5:45 AM Title: Chapter 8: Making an impression.
Well I wont get totally caught up was you have been posting a good bit. :-)
Yeah, I finally got on a roll. I'm hoping to have it finished by Mid-May. Thanks so much for your support!
Date: 21 Apr 2013 3:32 PM Title: Chapter 12
Love, love, love the angst!!!! How ever will Levi get himself out of this mess! Ember needs to give him hell!
Thanks, I hate writing angst so there probably won't be much of it. I'll send out Ember's story by the end of the week.
Date: 21 Apr 2013 2:27 AM Title: Chapter 12
I just want to say I was so excited to see a new chapter posted. I hope they are able to work it out!
Thanks, I should have sent it to my Beta but I just got too impatient. I think they'll get there but they have a long road ahead.
Thanks for reading.
Date: 20 Apr 2013 3:57 AM Title: Chapter 12
So up until now I have been reading this on my phone at work... and somehow completely missed chapter 11! yes so I got a shock of my life when I started reading this chapter tonight! Please stick with a kinky HEA for these two... though it will be a long road back to it, it seems! Great story though!
I def plan to stick to the HEA but now I have my work cut out for me getting there!
Thanks for reading.
Date: 20 Apr 2013 1:20 AM Title: Chapter 11
Good grief. Don't know where you got that picture but that looks really really painful. I just hope it is makeup and not real. Can't believe anyone would do that to someone they care about.
It's real. I can't remember where I actually got it from but it was the only one that didn't make my eyes water when I looked at it. The crazy thing is there are more people out there that get off on that kind of pain. Fortunately Ember is not one of them, I couldn't write that kind of BDSM relationship.
Date: 11 Apr 2013 10:54 AM Title: Chapter 10
Great chapter! I like that it was him that had to step out of his comfort zone.
Thanks for the review! I really wanted to push him further because he is the one having the hardest time adjusting to the relationship side of the D/s relationship. I favorited your story so I can start reading! Great summary, by the way!
Date: 22 Dec 2012 5:16 PM Title: Outtake For Christmas!
Amazing! Love your story and characters. I understand the writer's block problem it is a very frustrating experience. However this outtake is wonderful, hopefully you don't have a block any more!
It has been a real challenge. I think I have my groove back though. Thanks for sticking with me! I hope you've read chapters 9 and 10.
Date: 27 Nov 2012 1:37 AM Title: Chapter 7 – Just say it!
It was okay! I like how it shocked them both. Lol!
Thanks for the review! My husband said this chapter sucked but he's a guy and doesn't do Lovey dovey stuff! I am batteling a bit of writer's block so hopefully I can get my groove back and make the next chapter better!
Date: 24 Oct 2012 1:57 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Thanks for watching.
I've always wanted to do that at a drive in. Not have someone watch though. I dont think I'm that brave. Levi needs to get over his fear and tell her!
I hear ya! I am a closet exhibitionist! LOL! He'll get there!
Date: 08 Sep 2012 3:43 AM Title: Chapter 5: Something to talk about.
What it Levi broke a scene to tell her he loves her. You'd never think the Dom would be so overcome he breaks his own scene.
That's a good idea because Levi has been struggling with his need to protect her and to give her what she wants and needs.
Date: 02 Aug 2012 12:08 PM Title: Chapter 4: There's a first time for everything.
good first scene for her, and she did amazing.
I thought it was more important to show her learn than to jump in head first. More realistic anyway.
Thanks for reading!
Date: 30 Jul 2012 3:14 AM Title: Chapter 4: There's a first time for everything.
I love this story, you definately have my attention with this one. I'm so glad you are going to continue :)
Thanks! I kind of love these characters so I am hoping to have a 15 to 20 chapter story when it's finished.
Date: 25 Jul 2012 9:25 PM Title: Chapter 4: There's a first time for everything.
Good Story. You definatly have my interest peeked and I am looking forward to new chapters. :)
Thanks! I am hoping to post a chapter a week for a while til I get my Twilight Fan-fiction Falling complete on Fanfiction.net.
Date: 25 Jul 2012 8:56 PM Title: Chapter 4: There's a first time for everything.
im sorry to hear that your entry didnt make it i think this is an awesome story and i cant wait to read more
Thanks, but it is only my second fiction and my first original fiction. I have a lot to learn! Maybe the next one!
Date: 24 Jul 2012 7:55 PM Title: Chapter 1; Nice to Meet You!
I like the strong connection between Levi and Ember, but I agree, I think the pacing can be slowed down a lot.
There's a lot of telling going on, rather than showing. For example, Levi tells us "Ember was so funny," but we don't get to experience Ember's humor with him. We kinda just have to take his word for it. He also says she made him feel relaxed and like he could be himself, but so far we don't really know who that is.
I'd like to see more character development, so the reader can care about and invest in them, individually. I'd also like to see more description of feeling and emotion, rather than the physical acts.
Thank you for reviewing. This is only my second story and the first non-fanfiction. I am working on developing the characters and making the necessary changes to my upcoming chapters.
Date: 23 Jul 2012 2:57 AM Title: Chapter 3: Can I keep you?
Hello there F48,
Well you just jumped right in there and took off running. I think the only real suggestion that I can give you at this point of the game is this:
Slow down! *smacks hand with ruler*
You have the potential of a really good story. You jumped in so fast that it was hard for me to get a feel for the characters, so if you make it into the final 12, I'd love to see ya slow down, really show us that he is a true Dom, has some experience and convince us how he knows she is the "one" so soon. I would really like to read the next chapter and see where you go with them,
Good Luck in the Contest.
Thank you for reviewing. I took your suggestions and made some changes to chapter 4. I am new to developing a character from scratch. I know what I don't want them to be and spent too much time avoiding that not really developing what I did want them to be.
Thank you for good feedback!
Date: 20 Jul 2012 8:25 PM Title: Chapter 3: Can I keep you?
Great chapter... I love the ease and her comfidence in speaking with him... she doesn't seem that much younger than him at this point anyway.... Great work!!!
Thanks, I really like her character. She's the girl I wish I had the confidence to be.