Date: 19 Mar 2010 1:46 PM Title: Inside the Mind of a Monster
oh wow... this is getting good.. (I just realised I had to wait 15 minutes for a download.. LOL)
Author's Response:
oh kwl hehe, i get more of your lovely viewing hehe :) xx
Date: 19 Mar 2010 1:40 PM Title: Hopeless
hmm that is a delightful bed time story! that was the last chapter I can read tonight as it is 12:40am here in Australia.. so going to sleep and will continue this at some point tomorrow.....
Hope you have a great day and I am really enjoying this story! thanks for writing it!
xxx
Author's Response:
hehe i write it for you guys :) thank you so much for reading it :) and wow austrailia, my boyfriend is over there at the moment :) im glad your enjoying it.
and yh i wouldn't recommend that chapter for a fairy tale haha xx
Date: 19 Mar 2010 1:19 PM Title: New Surroundings
god that is evil.. well I guess that will teach bella that he is a monster no? LOL
I am reading your story slowly I am not supposed to be reading so SHHHH! LOL I am sniggering as I type this..
the girls will kill me I am supposed to be writing..
Author's Response:
hehe dont worry i shall keep it on the down low haha. Well i must thank you very much then, it means a lot that you have chosen my story to sneak to hehe. so thank you very much :) xx
Date: 19 Mar 2010 12:48 PM Title: Monster
omg poor bella!!!
Author's Response:
hehe i knw, but it can only get better right, thank you very much for reviewing, i am a huge fan of your stories :) xx
Date: 19 Mar 2010 4:07 AM Title: Beautiful Stranger
I am stunned into a realm with no words. Hehe, t was great, it left me wanting t read more and more and then some heeh.
Author's Response:
hehe im glad its got you hooked, and thanks for the review alot of ppl dosnt review so earli on, but it makes me very happy :) xx
Date: 19 Mar 2010 3:02 AM Title: Manipulations
hi .
wow thank u for up dating so soon , no mistake really it was very nice. okay i recomand for slow burns you read this chapter its so good
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5390119/26/The_University_of_Edward_Masen
and also if you more emmm master of universe you could search in twilighted.com without sensor and fanfiction with sensor you will love their slow burns
Author's Response:
thank you very much for the recomendation, i will look into it thank you :) xx
Date: 18 Mar 2010 10:45 PM Title: Manipulations
I love it, I love it, I love it. I m really anoxious for next chapter!!!!
Author's Response:
its on its way, and thank you, i'm glad your enjoying it :) xx
[Report This]Date: 18 Mar 2010 6:59 PM Title: Manipulations
Ahhh...Edward is such a tease!! Granted, I think subconsciously I love it like that because it creates so much sexual tension! Guys like that drive me up the wall...strangely in a good way. This reminds me so much of my relationship with my ex Jason. I'll have to give you that whole story in my email. But I totally can emphasize with Bella's frustrations to say the least!
Oh and PS...I got all giddy when I saw my name at the top of your author notes! Yay! Mucho cool points go to you! ;-)
Question. When Rose was talking to Carlisle, was she trying to hint for some of his assistance in turning Emmett? I assumed that's why she was stuttering, but I wanted to make sure we were on the same page.
Also I'm loving the bit of interaction b/t Jasper & Bella.(Even if he still had to act kinda like a jerk...) At least it's a step up from him acting like he'd rather her dead. I'm hoping we get to know more about Jasper's character. (Hint, hint!) I'm also hoping he and Bella soften up a bit towards each other eventually. (Cough..hint! Cough) Ahem...excuse me! Stupid cold...;-)
This chapter was *awesome* Seriously...this story gets better with every chapter. So update lady! :-) :-) xoxo!!
Author's Response:
hehe i do love your reviews :)
And i am trying to create sexual frustration, but at the same time i am scared to write a sex scene, firsty because some of my family read this and second because im scared it ul b crap and smutty :s
And ofc i mentioned you, your my little helper :)
and no, she wasn't hinting at changing him, she was just worried he would hate her, because they get along well and he is like her father, so she felt like she let him down.
And they may get closer, bt i dno lol maybee
And thank you very much for the lovely mugs and saying it was awesome :) xxx
Date: 18 Mar 2010 6:09 PM Title: Manipulations
If Alice is going to be a vamp someday I'm just wondering why haven't they changed her already? Jasper's ability to change Bella's feelings about him so completely does make you question if Alice's feeling for him are her own. I want to believe they are but, he is able to make her feel that way. I'm so happy that Edward said "not today" meaning that they will someday. I just hope it's before Jake gets a hold of her. Every time she's left alone for a moment I keep waiting for him to make his move. :0)
Author's Response:
Its all to do with her own feelings, it will become apparent soon :) And yes jasper is very good at manipulating, but do you really think he would do that to Alice? Yeah your right he probably would hehe bt you shall have to wait and see :)
And yes it will happen someday, and jake will pop up eventually bt not now :) xx
Date: 18 Mar 2010 5:58 PM Title: Manipulations
Love the chapter. Jasper is setting Bella up. When will Jake make his apperence.... keep it up
[Report This]Date: 18 Mar 2010 5:40 PM Title: Manipulations
Can't wait for more!
Date: 18 Mar 2010 5:34 PM Title: Manipulations
Interesting chapter, so Rose has Emmett.
Date: 18 Mar 2010 5:04 PM Title: Manipulations
Nice gift our Jasper's got! You describe it so well!! Her mind being unlocked...I lover that! As far as a sex scene goes, read your favorite writers here and learn from them. Then decide what you want: romantic? That's easy, sensual,slow and very, very gentle. Passionate? That's impulsive and a bit rough and steamy. Nothing is fast enough. Choreograph it in your mind and then write it. If it changes directions and takes off in a way you hadn't planned on, I say follow that instinct. You'll be great, don't worry!
Author's Response:
thank you so much, you have really helped, and thank you for the confidence :) it means alot xx
[Report This]Date: 18 Mar 2010 4:38 PM Title: Manipulations
Very good! Ummm......if you need help with the.....Umm..you know,sex scene...I would just read other stories to get an idea of what to do.I know one story thatshould help you mabey. It's called Waking Up.
Author's Response:
hehe thank you :) and thanks fir the mugs. I have read like a million stories so i shal just try my hardest, i just hope ppl like it :) xx
Date: 18 Mar 2010 6:27 AM Title: Ultimatum
wow that is really scary..
Date: 18 Mar 2010 6:20 AM Title: Trapped
poor Bella that is really scary.......
Date: 18 Mar 2010 6:12 AM Title: Beautiful Stranger
hmmm got to keep reading.. interesting first chapter.....
Author's Response:
thank you very much :) xx
[Report This]Date: 17 Mar 2010 11:50 AM Title: Peeping Tom
here comes emmett cab't wait to see what happens next thanks....
Author's Response:
hehe yup. and thank you very much for the mugs :) x
Date: 16 Mar 2010 11:06 PM Title: Peeping Tom
Wow I never guessed Jasper was still for Bella. Love the story. Keep updating as long as u can. WE love you for it.
Date: 16 Mar 2010 10:11 PM Title: Peeping Tom
And so the plot thickens. I was surprised about Rosalie being the spy. Great twist. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
hehe well i'm glad you liked it, and there will be more on its way very soon :) xx
Date: 16 Mar 2010 9:43 PM Title: Peeping Tom
Very evil that Jacob is.
Date: 16 Mar 2010 9:07 PM Title: Peeping Tom
Damm, stopping where is was starting to get good just so the dog can speak, yuck. Great chapter. I hope Edward keeps gaining some humanity. Excited to read the next chapter.
Author's Response:
hehe well i've got to keep you all wanting more :) xxx thanks for the review, next chapter is on its way xx
Date: 16 Mar 2010 8:11 PM Title: Beautiful Stranger
Haha if you thought that was a huge rant...get ready for the review I sent you for your last chapter. I'm sick with mono and bored out of my mind. Ha...Abi, don't judge a sick girl. I just realized how long the post was that I just sent you. Oops! We're gonna blame it on cold meds, sound good? ;-) Oh dear. Ha.
Author's Response:
hehe we shall blame the cold meds lol thats what there for haha And you do realise you have sent this as a review lol not that i'm complaining it boosts them hehe
and i dont think i could ever judge you :) especially not while you have mono. it sounds horrible, i just hope my story can keep you entertained :) xx
Date: 16 Mar 2010 8:07 PM Title: Peeping Tom
oh shit, damn jacob and his sneakiness. i hope edward tortures jacob in front of bella waaaaahhhhhhaaaaa.
Author's Response:
hehe, so do all of us :) but like jacob said, he has little pawns :) xx
[Report This]Date: 16 Mar 2010 8:07 PM Title: Peeping Tom
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Questions, questions! So there's a MOLE in the house.(PS...have you seen Austin Powers 3? The Goldmember one? If so, then you know why I just found the word "mole" WAY too humorous.
"It's very nice to mole you! Uh, I mean, meet you. Meet your mole. Oh dear God".)
Classic.
On a more mature note...loving it even more with the insider. Very "24" ;-)
(Yeah...Jack Bauer is my hero. Next to my Edward obsession of course. Sigh. Where was I? I digress...)
So I have an idea over who this mole could be. :-) My guess is...Rosalie.
She hates humans, has all the access she needs to know everything she could want to know about them, certainly willing (considering she about killed Bella herself when Bella met her the first time), and she's said to be stunningly beautiful. (Granted, most people would disagree that Rosalie "pales in comparison to Bella"...but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, correct?)
I only have three problems with my guess.
One: If the mole IS Rose, why would Jacob refer to her as "the Blonde
Barbie"...a demeaning term for someone he was an accomplice with. (Granted, the Jacob in this story isn't known for his tendency to respect women. So maybe that's a non-issue.)
Two: Why would the "human-hating mole" be seen carrying a human into the house? So unless Rosalie "the mole" Hale had sudden change of heart concerning her distaste for humans...maybe she isn't our mole. (Although, Jacob did ask himself, "What is she doing?", showing that he has reasons to be interested in her actions. Hmmm.)
So, so far, even with my doubts I've mentioned...I'm still good with thinking our mole is Rose...until my third problem.
Three: If Rose is the mole, how has she gotten away with it since Edward can hear her thoughts? Even if she began to block his thoughts...wouldn't that make him suspicious towards her? That part stumps me. :-)
So I’m slightly torn. Is there another woman living in the house that we don’t know about? I’d normally totally assume it’s Carlisle from the beginning…but I really don’t see Jake calling Carlisle “beautiful” and then saying his beauty paled to Bella’s. Because that’s just plain disturbing.
Eeep! Can you tell I get way into mysteries?? I love trying to solve this stuff. This story is too entertaining. :-)
Believe it or not, this review turned into becoming two pages long, single spaced. So I had to make myself cut a bit. I realized most of what I was writing should probably be in the email I'm still trying to write back to you! :-) My poor, sad, seriously sick computer. The email’s coming!
Even with the part I took out, I'm still writing wayyy too much for a review! (I'm home sick AGAIN…ends up the flu I thought I had was mono. Yuck!) So I’m bored out of my mind. S bored Bree = Abi receiving the longest review on the planet! Uh...so I'm going to stop tying. Really. XOXO!
Author's Response:
well that put a hugeeee ass smile on my face hehe, that is the most amazingly epic review ever!! haha I couldn't believe it was so long haha its hugggeeeee! And I'm very sorry but the Identity of our "mole" will remain a little mystery hehe :)
And yes i most certainly have seen goldmember, and it rocks :) i love the whole rambling awkward mole convo haha
I shall be waiting for your epic and longgg email hehe
and i'm very sorry that your sick, and thanks for the mugs i love you girl :) xx
[Report This]Date: 16 Mar 2010 7:42 PM Title: Peeping Tom
I think Jake suffers from delusional thinking
Author's Response:
well you hit the nail on the head :) he is absolutly possitively delusional :) haha and thank you very much for the mugs :) xx
Date: 16 Mar 2010 5:32 PM Title: Peeping Tom
Looks like danger is still out there. Bella may end up a vampire yet. Has Rose found Emmett? :0)
Author's Response:
Yup danger never seems to leave her alone :( and she might :) and yes that is Emmett :) xx
[Report This]Date: 16 Mar 2010 5:25 PM Title: Bitter Heart
Understanding Carlisle a bit more. I don't hate him. I just feel very sad for him. No wonder he hates humans so much...since he's categorized them all as hateful, cruel, malious beings. I hope he gets to know Bella and maybe in turn is able to gain a wider perspective on humans as Bella has been able to do with vampires. Hmmm. Loving it :-) Off to read :-) :-)
Author's Response:
:) I'm glad you don't hate him, he isn't all bad, just very bitter and angry :( Im very glad you are enjoying it, thank you so very much for the mugs, and i've missed you hehe im glad your back :) xx
Date: 16 Mar 2010 5:13 PM Title: Peeping Tom
Rosalie is the traitor? Nice ;3
Author's Response:
Maybe, maybe not ;) xx
[Report This]Date: 16 Mar 2010 5:13 PM Title: Kitchen Confessions
Awe...that was such a sweet and needed chapter! (Sorry this review is coming so late! My computer is trying to slowly die on me. Today, it's acting like it might work. It's just trying to humor itself...you know. Through getting my hopes up by acting like it might want to work. Soon enough...it'll be heading towards death's door. Damn computer ;-) But that's my reason for my crazy late reviews!!) PS...Carlisle is a...pompous, holier-than-thou, jerk. Or another really creative mean word that I can't think of. :-) Ugh...he's so mean! I've got more to read so I'm shutting up! Xoxo!
Author's Response:
hehe well that was a huge rant haha, u shud tell the computer off haha, mine never seems to work lol
and Carlisle is all of the above haha bt with good reason :) and thank you for the mugs :) xx
Date: 16 Mar 2010 5:09 PM Title: Bitter Heart
Seems like the wolves are back...
Date: 16 Mar 2010 3:36 PM Title: Bitter Heart
i dont get it . in authour note you mentioned that you will write chapter 18 but this is chapter 14 i search your story in google i find out the only place you write is in this website so why you are saying you have more than 4000 review and you update until chapter 18 emmm i really confused im egaer to ur update
Date: 16 Mar 2010 1:45 PM Title: Mr Nice Guy
i think u have 4000 review in fanfiction in here, not much peoplecaming but they will come becuase fanfiction delete some stories and people come here
Date: 16 Mar 2010 11:37 AM Title: Hopeless
shivver, god, its scary how well you wrote that, ha. My skin is crawling.
Date: 16 Mar 2010 11:30 AM Title: New Surroundings
Holy crap, that dream freaked me out and now more kidnapped people???? Ugh, I hate it when all the 'Cullens' are psycho....who's going to save her now?! Sorry for my stupidity about the banners.....I forgot you probably wrote that months ago plus idiot me was drawn to this story because of your banner. DUH, how embarassing. Sorry, I just woke up and I want to go back to bed but this story won't let me go...........
Author's Response:
hehe your reviews have made me chuckle :) thank you and its fine about the whole banner thing, its nice to know people like pay attention to what i say :) and well i hope you still enjoy the story even though they are crazy haha xx
Date: 16 Mar 2010 11:20 AM Title: Ultimatum
sorry, it's 'mybannermaker.com'.....good luck
Date: 16 Mar 2010 11:19 AM Title: Ultimatum
Phew, at least Charlie's not dead (yet). Aw, so sad, poor Bella. Well, hurry up and fall in love with him so you'll feel better.
Um, I can tell you, you do it thru 'photobucket.com'.....I'd make you one, but I make them and then have a hard time posting them on here. I've also seen people use 'mybanner.com'...maybe that site is easier to navigate thru....good luck, I'd help if I could but they're too frustrating.
Date: 16 Mar 2010 11:18 AM Title: Ultimatum
Phew, at least Charlie's not dead (yet). Aw, so sad, poor Bella. Well, hurry up and fall in love with him so you'll feel better.
Um, I can tell you, you do it thru 'photobucket.com'.....I'd make you one, but I make them and then have a hard time posting them on here. I've also seen people use 'mybanner.com'...maybe that site is easier to navigate thru....good luck, I'd help if I could but they're too frustrating.
Date: 16 Mar 2010 11:08 AM Title: Trapped
'Chin'? Whack him on the head, idiot. Oh well, doesn't matter anyway-won't work. Love it so far, hope there's some dialogue in future chapters. Ha, guess it's not time for chatting yet, haha. Yes, he's a vampire, but can he read her mind this time? He seems to be laughing about the rock in her hand? Hmmmmm
Date: 16 Mar 2010 11:00 AM Title: Beautiful Stranger
Holy crap, he knocked her out. Poor Bella, the worst is ahead. Ha, what did he do?...stand IN FRONT of his precious volvo so she'd hit HIM, just so he could get her to stop? Very intriguing.
Author's Response:
hehe yes yes he did stand in front of the car, but it isn't his :) lol xx
Date: 16 Mar 2010 6:14 AM Title: Magic Eight Ball
this chapter blew me away. it was even better than i imagined it would be. can't wait for the next one
Date: 16 Mar 2010 5:46 AM Title: Inside the Mind of a Monster
That was wonderful! You're writing is beautiful, as always
Date: 16 Mar 2010 5:18 AM Title: Hopeless
Another powerful chapter! Poor Bella! But so glad the truth is finally out
Date: 16 Mar 2010 4:56 AM Title: New Surroundings
it's amazing. and acctually i don't have anything to say, it's all said already before.
your story is so different from all others at and i love it. you made it so good that i think that it's impossible not to love it after few chapters
Date: 16 Mar 2010 4:43 AM Title: Monster
it's amazing. and acctually i don't have anything to say, it's all said already before.
your story is so different from all others at and i love it. you made it so good that i think that it's impossible not to love it after few chapters
Date: 16 Mar 2010 4:29 AM Title: Ultimatum
I'm new to your story and love it. I added it to my favorites a while ago, but just started reading it. I could not stop. Thank you for a wonderful story and I look forward to future updates
Date: 16 Mar 2010 2:08 AM Title: Bitter Heart
Carlisle's story is so sad. I understand his feelings toward humans but, he also should realize that not all humans are so judgemental... Esme wasn't and Bella and Alice don't seem to be either. Maybe being around them he'll remember a little? or not :0) Really enjoying this story.
Date: 16 Mar 2010 2:06 AM Title: Bitter Heart
I think he should turn her instead of leaving her helpless.
Date: 16 Mar 2010 12:55 AM Title: Bitter Heart
Great chapter! Im going to guess your in the UK? I'm at uni in the Uk, good luck with it :)
Author's Response:
oh wow yh thanks alot :) xx
[Report This]Date: 16 Mar 2010 12:04 AM Title: Bitter Heart
Was Jake at the window?
Author's Response:
You shall find out very soon :) xx
Date: 14 Mar 2010 8:50 PM Title: Kitchen Confessions
AH! Such silly, lovely intentions! Bella needs to learn to value herself more. Wonderfully emotional update.
Author's Response:
hehe thats Bella :) and im glad you liked the emotions :) thank you for reviewing xx
Date: 14 Mar 2010 2:02 PM Title: Kitchen Confessions
Good Chapter. I enjoy this side of Edward, he is very sexy.
Author's Response:
hehe i thort he was nicer however scary but if tht does it for you, then im glad you like him :) xx
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2010 4:49 AM Title: Kitchen Confessions
Daddy c needs to get laid. So does Rose. Lol. Can't wait to see where you take us. Meg
Author's Response:
haha well, u may be getting somewhere with that little comment hehe :) and thank you sooo much for the mugs :) xx
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2010 4:31 AM Title: Taking Control
Yum the lemon drop was good. I'm a huge dog hater so seeing the mutts loose will be great. Meg
Author's Response:
hehe im glad you like it, i get nervous writing them hehe its a little bit like being scrutinised haha bt im glad you liked it. thanks for the mugs :) xx
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2010 4:08 AM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
Hum a little sexual tension. Good for them. Meg
Author's Response:
yup jus a tad hehe and thank you for the mugs :) xx
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2010 3:35 AM Title: Leaping into the Rabbit Hole
Ok. You gave me just enough hope. Great exchange between e&b. Meg
Author's Response:
well thats what i wanted :) and thank you for the mugs :) xx
Date: 14 Mar 2010 2:12 AM Title: Inside the Mind of a Monster
Great Epov. What a twisted mind.
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2010 2:03 AM Title: Hopeless
Hard to read hard to imagine any good coming from Edward. Not sure I can read this one. I'll try for a few chapters. It is really well writen. Meg
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2010 2:03 AM Title: Hopeless
Hard to read hard to imagine any good coming from Edward. Not sure I can read this one. I'll try for a few chapters. It is really well writen. Meg
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2010 1:31 AM Title: Monster
Oh no
don't kill
the parents. Edward don't.
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2010 1:24 AM Title: Ultimatum
How did the poll trun out? I have mixed feelings. Meg
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2010 1:15 AM Title: Trapped
Oh silly Bella, Edward may be beauififul but he has a dark side. Keep going. Meg
[Report This]Date: 14 Mar 2010 1:10 AM Title: Beautiful Stranger
Hum interesting start. Great words. Meg
Date: 14 Mar 2010 12:27 AM Title: Kitchen Confessions
Angry Edward is hot. Carlisle is just plain mean. Hmm, the other girlfriend, that is interesting. I don't think it was Rosalie, even OOC, I can't picture them as a couple. Maybe Tanya? Can't wait to find out!
Date: 14 Mar 2010 12:17 AM Title: Kitchen Confessions
I'm sad that she pushed Edward away, but I'm glad that Alice snapped her out of it and she's not going to do it anymore. :0) I wish she would have stood up to Carlisle though. :0) I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
Date: 13 Mar 2010 7:28 PM Title: Kitchen Confessions
No.. i didn't like it...... I LOVED IT... Poor Bella...she always tries to make the right choices but she messes up every time...
SO GOOD
Date: 13 Mar 2010 7:27 PM Title: Kitchen Confessions
When is she going to tell him that if he turns her he won't have to worry as much?
Date: 13 Mar 2010 6:51 PM Title: Kitchen Confessions
great stuff.
[Report This]Date: 13 Mar 2010 6:15 PM Title: Kitchen Confessions
Loved it but I am worried about bella she so weak i hope she can make it through update when you can thanks....
Date: 13 Mar 2010 12:45 AM Title: Taking Control
Your Edward is yummy!
Date: 12 Mar 2010 1:48 PM Title: Taking Control
Wow, unexpected. :o)))) I like it a lot!!!!
Date: 11 Mar 2010 11:53 PM Title: Taking Control
You did his body justice :) so don't panick...just give us some more hehe
Date: 11 Mar 2010 11:05 PM Title: Taking Control
YEah.. Hey.. I love that Edward came in. But if Alice and Bella want to keep secrets- shouldn't they be 'writing'- and wouldn't that make the guys mad?
Date: 11 Mar 2010 10:20 PM Title: Taking Control
i luv it!
cant wait for da nex chap!
Date: 11 Mar 2010 6:14 PM Title: Taking Control
Nice! The tension is getting to the girl. Poor Bella, she's so afraid of everyone else getting hurt she doesn't care about herself. Wondefull chapter!
[Report This]Date: 11 Mar 2010 4:54 PM Title: Taking Control
Yes, you did do his body justice. Exellent!
Date: 11 Mar 2010 5:53 AM Title: Taking Control
I have enjoyed the ride so much. I love Edward in this fic. He will forever be "MY MONSTER"! Can't wait for more from these two. I am wondering, who is the mysterious other voice Edward heard?, The one that made him panick. What is up with Roselie? Will we see Emmett? So many questions. Must have more.. lol
ek
Author's Response:
*claps excitedly* well done, your the first person to notice the other voice hehe however u shall not find that out until later im afraid, but well done :) and rosalie is just jealous of Bella because she is human thats all. and you shall get more i promise :) xxx
Date: 11 Mar 2010 5:51 AM Title: Taking Control
Did Jasper knock her out?
Author's Response:
yes, Edward told him to because Bella was in a catatonic stait :) thanks for the review xx
Date: 11 Mar 2010 3:28 AM Title: Taking Control
mmm I like shirtless Edward a lot! :0) I'm worried about what Jacob is up to. Why does it hurt Alice when she touches Bella? Is it just the vision she had?
Author's Response:
well yeah sort of, she just gets a really bad feeling, like the bad pains she talks about, thts why jasper and edward are so tense :)
i hope that helped
and i love shirtless edward too :) xx
Date: 11 Mar 2010 2:38 AM Title: Trapped
I liked watching her thought processes throughout this chapter. The flow of her thoughts was very fluid and natural... very realistic. Great job on that! You didn't make her silly nor is she overly brash and aggressive. Bella's 'every girl' way of behaving was what made her character so appealing and accessible in the original stories; it's nice to see you maintaining that important trait. You mentioned wanting to know if we caught anything to improve upon or needing correction so I thought I'd mention just one little thing that caught my eye. Near the end of the chapter when Bella is contemplating whether her captor is distracted enough to allow her a chance at escape, there is a sentence that reads: "And he defiantly didn't look stupid." You may want to go back in and change the word 'defiantly' to 'definitely', which is the word I believe you intended here. Defiantly would mean with a rebellious attitude whereas definitely means with certainty. I hope you don't mind my mentioning this.
I am really enjoying the story so far and think you are doing an excellent job!
[Report This]Date: 11 Mar 2010 1:42 AM Title: Taking Control
Um...wow. No, really. Abi! That about got me all hot and bothered reading about our half naked Edward! Whew! Like I said...you're a total ROCKSTAR ;-) And I love her nickname for him! "My monster"...awe! How appropriate! :-) Also loving the girl time with Alice at the end. Alice is my girl. I think this is my favorite chapter yet! Update woman! Xoxo!
Author's Response:
hehe thank you, I'm so lucky to have amazing readers.
And your still wrong you know, your the ROCKSTAR hehe :)
And I know tell me about it, I think I need a cold shower haha :) It almost killed me writing it lol
thank you so much for the cups, i love you woman :)
[Report This]Date: 11 Mar 2010 1:10 AM Title: Taking Control
you did fine but i want more please update when you can thanks.....
Date: 10 Mar 2010 9:43 PM Title: Beautiful Stranger
How did you make that banner, anyway?
Date: 10 Mar 2010 5:40 PM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
Really, really awesome. I really love the story!
Date: 10 Mar 2010 5:32 PM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
The end of this chapter is sooo cute! :) Can't wait for the next update!
[Report This]Date: 10 Mar 2010 5:25 PM Title: Mr Nice Guy
I really like your banners right now, but your're the writer, so I guess I don't know what I talking about. Anyway, very cool story, please keep up the good work.
Author's Response:
aww no, i love opinions. and thank you very much, im very glad your enjoying it :) and thank you sooo much for the cups xx
Date: 10 Mar 2010 2:35 PM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
Another great chapter! Can't wait to read the next one! They're falling in love and they don't know it yet...*sigh*
Date: 10 Mar 2010 2:01 PM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
Good story. Can't wait to find out what happens with Jacob.
Date: 10 Mar 2010 6:30 AM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
good chapter
Date: 10 Mar 2010 3:17 AM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
Rose is a bitch!!
Edward is seeming less and less like a monster
Date: 10 Mar 2010 2:56 AM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
Now its Bella's turn to play monster and give him a good case of blue balls!
Author's Response:
hehe wudnt tht be great hehe, its just a shame they're hard as rocks haha xx
Date: 10 Mar 2010 1:20 AM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
I really liked this chapter except for Rose making Bella feel worthless. Loved the kiss! I like seeing them grow closer together. :0)
Date: 10 Mar 2010 12:48 AM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
Really enjoyed this chapter and thanx again for updating so fast :)
Date: 10 Mar 2010 12:14 AM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
I love his playful side. Aha, it was Rosalie! She's such a bitch, got to love her.
Date: 09 Mar 2010 11:36 PM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
i luv it!
Date: 09 Mar 2010 11:09 PM Title: Cruelty & Kindness
Jerk! Edward really is a moody prick sometimes. How did Edward not hear what Rosalie had said? WHy hasn't Bella talked to Alice all week?
Author's Response:
he was too wrapped up in himself, as usual. and because shes too afraid tht Alice will be in pain again, and jasper is being protective. thanks for reviewing xx and yes edward is a jerk xx
Date: 08 Mar 2010 9:00 PM Title: Mr Nice Guy
very goog :D update! :)