Date: 04 Jun 2018 5:19 AM Title: Last chapter
While the story was good, it took an unrealistic turn. She needs medical attention, because she woulf bruised from head to toe at the very least, her head looked at plus food. And tell her friends to fuck off.
Oh you would have to unload both barrells of a shotgun, at point blank range, on an animal that size. Typical shotgun shells have birdshot which would have just pissed out a mountain lion.
Date: 22 Sep 2014 1:23 PM Title: Fourth chapter
First I forgot to say in the chapter it was very funny about Rosalie having pepper spray in case they had any poblems with bears. What Edward did in he kitchen was dirty. But I'm almost 100% sure her mouth was on Edward not mike.
We will learn more in the following chapters...
Date: 31 May 2013 7:55 PM Title: Last chapter
So bella forgave edward...least he shld of done was tell her he ate her out not mike. I recomend bella though not trust edward with a blind fold again
There's a sequel to this story and Bella gets her revenge ^^
Date: 31 Aug 2012 1:20 AM Title: Fourth chapter
I swear...I really hate *stupid reasoning* Bella!! Urg!
I guess that's the sign of a talented writer...makes the audiance hate the lead role screaming @ her to make a better choice only to have them come out loving them in the end!!
Lol, that was the very first M rated story I wrote on the fandom and I had the time of my life writing it, and I was really happy to see people liked it and asked for a sequel, which I will translate eventually :0)
Date: 27 Jun 2011 1:04 AM Title: Last chapter
Laughing my ASS off. The ending was hilarious. LOVED LOVED LOVED it!!!!!!!
GREAT GREAT GREAT JOB!!!! CAN NOT wait to read the next chapter. Want to know how Bella reacts. She may never lose her blush from that one. LOL!!!!!
Date: 26 Jun 2011 4:01 PM Title: Last chapter
Well I absolutely loved the lemons. I was hoping for more dialog from Edward during the lemon. I mean it was his first time inside her so I thought he would have been talking a lot about how good she felt. Also if this IS the last chapter, then I am extremely dissapointed. I do not read short stories because I feel like I always want more and with a short story I feel like I didn't get enough. I love you as a writer and I hope you know that but I was really dissapointed that this is the last chapter. Well hopefully you will have more time to give us more updates on TSTWO.
Yes, I will have more time to work on Slave and I will continue to send you the drafts. i'm sorry this story seemed too short for you but for me it was like a warm up writing, if you will. See you soon on my other story.
Date: 26 Jun 2011 1:47 PM Title: Last chapter
wow, i laugh out loud the last sentence it was very cute,...her first orgasmic.....lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllo
kidoo , you did very well, love it and thank to you and your dear beta just4ale,...you did well , in this story i think i am the only reader , who put review for each 7 chapters of your story , good job , you deserve it .
Thank you so much for taking the time to review all the chapters. To answer your question how I came up with the idea, it is very simple: my husband suggested that I write my own smut after my offer to translate taratsueme's The Training was turned down. At first I thought I could do a one shot with the story that came to my mind, but then after I wrote the first 20 pages, i realized that it would have to be a multiple chapters story, but still I wanted to keep it a short story, hence the 7 chapters only (it is about 90 pages long on my PC).
Date: 26 Jun 2011 1:17 PM Title: Last chapter
Great story!! Wished it would have last a little while longer. It had the potential. Thank you for writing it.
After I finished this story (it took me only 16 days to publish all the chapters in French), i started another one and it took me more than a year to complete it. It is called The slave who wouldn't obey and in French it's 27 chapters long. In English it will have over 45 chapters when it's complete. Somehow, I know about long stories, lol.
Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Date: 26 Jun 2011 12:59 PM Title: Last chapter
Rose is such a bitch. I hope the truth comes out in the next chapter... Make them all look stupid...
There won't be a next chapter since this one was the last.
But thank you for reading and reviewing.
Date: 26 Jun 2011 11:30 AM Title: First chapter
im just cruise how did you come up with this story idea, is different and interessting i am happy to read it all ,... to see how dark is it , my story hate you ,...is really dark than i think other story in this web is.... good job dear
Date: 01 Jun 2011 3:35 AM Title: Sixth chapter
I love this erotic tale. sexy and now sweet. I'm just curious now that the ily have been proclaimed what could happen to them next? cuz ya know its not all roses and happy endings at least I hope not. more darling, more.....
I don't write angst, so, unfortunately, the next chapter will mostly be sex non stop for E&B :0(
However, I'm writing a sequel in French, so it's only a matter of time before it's translated in English...
Date: 31 May 2011 10:28 PM Title: Sixth chapter
out of excuses?? ou please he let her give a blow job in Mike!!! I think she is ease with him!!! and you will finish it so soon??? no please so much can come this!!!Edward have to prove yourself not in bed but like a men!!!lol keep going!!!!
Date: 31 May 2011 9:49 AM Title: Sixth chapter
At least they are on the same page now. Sometimes a little time-out apart from everything can be really helpfull.
I just hope, that Bella will also be truthfull to her friends about what happened.
Great chapter and story so far.
Date: 18 May 2011 4:38 PM Title: Fifth chapter
hello I love your story so please write the next chapter to see what will happen to Bella and Edward please I really really want to know
Don't worry, I'm not the kind of author who doesn't finish what she starts... My next chapter is in the hands of my beta right now, and the next chapter I will translate is the conclusion :0)
ps: I hope the English readers will be interested in the sequel I'm writing right now in French...
Date: 14 May 2011 1:14 PM Title: Third chapter
Awww, to be fairer, they should have been told to write down their totals so no one whould have known what the other's answers were.
That's for sure, but they still could have cheated all the same.
By the way, I'm sorry that my updates are so few and far between...
Date: 02 May 2011 12:08 AM Title: Fifth chapter
Yes, I think he deserves to be forgiven!!!! Like I said before, I DONT CARE how upset or emotionally strained a person is, why would u go out into the woods by urself, but its all in good fun for the story!!! I adore all of the drama and angst ur writtin to keep us entertained lol!!! Can't wait for more!!
Ah, you made my day here. My goal is to entertain you, and if I did that at the end of the day, I go to bed a very happy girl :0)
Date: 01 May 2011 11:19 PM Title: Fifth chapter
There were lots of revelations in that chapter. I must say for Edward being so enamored that he set this whole thing up; he really didn't act like it when he got her in the same room! I don't blame Bella and I am not impressed by Esme, Alice and Rose at this point. IF she forgives him, I hope she makes him earn it.
Ha Ha, with friends ike that, maybe Bella really needs a break and should try her luck at Forks High School, lol. But I'm afraid Edward has got her under a spell like in the song and that she will be ready to forgive him way too easlily.
Date: 01 May 2011 9:43 PM Title: Fifth chapter
Ugh!! Edward is exasperating!! I can't decide about forgiving for what he did to Bella. Usually, I'm not such a hard ass but Geez, that was just soo wrong on soo many levels.
Can't wait till next time. Hope it's not too long.
I wouldn't go easy on Edward if I were in Bella's shoes, but the girl is kind of blinded by love (or lust). She admitted herself last time that what he did, no matter how humiliating it was, just added fuel to the fire of her desire for him. And she also said that what she felt for him was more than just desire, so she might be very lenient toward him when they have a chance to have a serious talk. Now, I'm supposed to spend the next 3 weeks writing the sequel to this story in French, but I will try my best to also translate the next chapter in English.
Date: 19 Apr 2011 3:47 AM Title: Fourth chapter
Oh that was just gross. I cant believe Edward did that. to let Mike take his place and let Bella do that to Mike. YUKKKK.
Yes, I know, that was gross indeed. I don't know if there is still hope for Edward after what he did. I can't believe Bella doesn't want to kill him. She must be completely under his spell, because, jeez, what a trick he played on her. He deserves to never have a (good) fuck for the rest of his life.
Date: 19 Apr 2011 3:22 AM Title: Third chapter
OMG I cant believe she lied about her orgasams. Poor Edward. And I definitely dont think she should be treated like trash.
My allusion to Bella being treated like a piece of trash was just a joke because I've heard of a story called Fold your Wings that is a hit, got loads of reviews on FF and it's about a Bella being treated like shit by Edward, so apparently people on FF (and maybe here too) like to read that kind of story. I would rather say that kind of shit (although it's welll written), but it's just me and I respect the readers who like to see Bella repeatedly mistreated and abused. I just won't lose my time reading it myself. But here's the catch: Bella wiil be a little mistreated in the next chapter, so watch out...
Date: 19 Apr 2011 2:57 AM Title: Second chapter
Wow I have counted 5 so far. Damn I think Edward really knows what he is doing. LOL. This is a really good smuty story. Geeshhh I wish it was longer. I am surprised he hasn't kissed her mouth.
I think he would not kiss Bella unless she gives him permission, and right now she doesn't know him well enough to be intimate in that way, even if they were doing things together way more intimate (but then again to me a kiss is a very intimate act)
Date: 19 Apr 2011 2:38 AM Title: First chapter
so far I am really loving this story. I cant wait to see how many orgasams Bella gets. LOL. I only wish this was not only 7 chapters as I dont usually read short stories but since its you, I wanted to see what you did.
This story was my first attempt at smut. It was supposed to be a one shot, but I wasn't able to make the plot fit in only one chapter, plus the readers wanted at least a few chapters when they had a taste of the first, lol.
Date: 09 Apr 2011 10:53 AM Title: Fourth chapter
Edward has a lot of making up to do down the line. He has humiliated Bella, threatened her and is not treating her respectfully. Is it because he does not think much of her?
Actually, he's madly in love with her. But we'll learn that only in the next chapter.
Date: 08 Apr 2011 7:32 PM Title: Fourth chapter
I think edward was an ass to Bella. That was just mean and cruel. I know she lied but she did not let someone else do something to his naked bady. THAT WAS JUST WROMG OF HIM. I hope he learns his lesson. I hope something happense to him that makes him feel like Bella did.
Date: 08 Apr 2011 7:59 AM Title: Fourth chapter
OMG!!! I can't believe him!! That was just playing dirty and down right wrong....on all accounts. I'd leave too if I was her. Poor thing. I hope she gets away.
Great chapter and I am thoroughly enjoying this story. Hope to see another chapter soon!!
Date: 07 Apr 2011 10:28 PM Title: Fourth chapter
Bella is always so silly, who the HELL would travel out in the middle of the night into an unknown wilderness surrounded by 100 miles of NOBODY and possible dangerous animals?? Anywayz can't wait for the next update!!
Date: 07 Apr 2011 10:10 PM Title: Fourth chapter
she don´t need the permission, but he need right??? in the first time in 4 chapter I hate Edward!!! and if I was Bella I probable would leave. my heart not are so strong lol I hate more Mike, this is the person in Twilight I hate more lol hope you can come back soon!!!
Date: 07 Apr 2011 9:35 PM Title: Fourth chapter
Edward is falling in love with Bella. He must have spent quite some time working out what to do with her.
I am looking forward to your next ....12 chapters. If Bella walks back 100miles to civilization it will take a while and you can just fill the chapters with lemons. Dark Edward was wonderful by the way!;O)
I'm afraid we're already right in the middle of this little smut festival. It will only take three more chapters to wrap it... but I'm writing a sequel in French right now, so it may add up in English sometimes too.
Date: 07 Apr 2011 8:46 PM Title: Fourth chapter
The whole thing with Mike? Ugh, no wonder why Edward has to learn respect for women. He just humiliated the woman e is supposed to be doing his best to respect. I think he needs to get over his own vanity and pride before he can have a decent relationship!
He humiliated Bella because he felt she had humiliated him by lying about the outcome of the race. He thought sleeping with Bella was a sure thing and now he might have lost his opportunity for good, acting like he did.
Date: 07 Apr 2011 8:31 PM Title: Fourth chapter
Holy Hell .... I can't believe he was able to to do that to Bella... Dickhead
Author's Response: Yeah, me neither... We will have his point of view next time so maybe we'll get to know whether he's a lost cause or he has a chance to redeem himself.
Date: 22 Mar 2011 8:49 PM Title: Third chapter
Ugh!! You are doing just fine with how Bella's being treated and the whole story is wonderful!! DON'T change a thing. Just keep right on your merry little way and I'll be chompin at the bit for more. Can't wait to see what Edward has to say.
Can't wait either, but I think Bella's in a lot of trouble... (and no, she will not be treated like trash, at least I don't think so)
Date: 22 Mar 2011 4:24 PM Title: Third chapter
I can not believe that Bella lied. Does she not think that the boys are telling each other how many times they made the girls cum???? Can not wait to see the boys reaction.
I don't know what she was thinking. She should imagine the conversation between the boys in the dining room. Now she's in a lot of trouble :-)
Date: 22 Mar 2011 1:30 PM Title: Third chapter
Well alrighty then. so hot. amazingly hot. He is gonna be a pissed off. How lucky for hershe had 12. I think more vebal play between them would be fun but I think you are doing a great job with your story. I read this in like 15 minutes and I inhaled it like a quikle. great job again bb, I'll be following to see where you go. Now my rabbit and i are gonna spend time together to see if I can compete with 12.* wink.
Good luck with that :-)
This story is in serious need of pimping, so if you know of a few more ladies who might be interested in reading it, spread the word :-)
Date: 21 Mar 2011 8:55 PM Title: Third chapter
So she lied! Because of ….? Never mind. Well, I guess Edward does not want to lose. The next challenge is waiting – he should make her come even more often….. Serves her right.
My characters have a will of their own. I sincerely have no idea why she decided to lie at the last minute. But yes, there will be consequences...
Date: 21 Mar 2011 11:51 AM Title: Third chapter
i guess your right, but just because they have sex doesn't mean the story has to end : )
Oh, but one of my French readers was so angry they didn't have sex right after this chapter she stopped reading my story, lol.
Date: 21 Mar 2011 3:57 AM Title: Third chapter
I like the way this story is going so far. I personally get tired of stories like this that have one person or the other being treated like dirt. I hope you don't go in that direction.
I was just kidding. My story is not about a mistreated Bella at all and it's already complete in French. There is no changing direction and it will stay fluffy and smutty.
Date: 21 Mar 2011 3:49 AM Title: Third chapter
i hate the ones where she is treated like trash or a child. Please dot change the story just to be popular.
I will change my author's end note. I was just being sarcastic. My story already exists in French so there's no way I can change it to something it was never intended to be :-)
Date: 21 Mar 2011 2:19 AM Title: Third chapter
why would you get more readers if you treat bella like a piece of trash
I really like the story so far.
please dont turn this into an abuse story its really good so far
Don't worry I was just being sarcastic. I was alluding to this story by Jadalulu where Bella is treated like a piece of trash by a piece of shit of Edward and it's getting loads of reviews on FF (it's called Fold your wings).
My story is already complete in French and it's got nothing to do with abuse or anything like that. It's only a smut fantasy :-)
Date: 21 Mar 2011 1:58 AM Title: Third chapter
Even though I don't want the story over.. She should have the truth... Edward is going to lose he shit...
It's not looking very good for Bella, is it? But I swear I didn't decide for her to lie. She did that all by herself. That was the first time ever I was sidetracked by my characters. So yes, I think Edward will be tempted to treat her a little harsher...
Date: 26 Feb 2011 4:42 PM Title: Second chapter
Where IS this story going?
I'll have to read on to find out...........
You shouldn't ask that kind of question about this story. It's just a little fantasy of mine that I wanted to share with my readers. But it will actually go somewhere. Just wait for the next chapters...
Date: 25 Feb 2011 8:41 PM Title: Second chapter
I may have to look into getting me some of those balls. They sound like fun. Great job. Hope to hear from you soon.
Hope to publish the next chapter soon, as it's already in the hands of my beta and I've already translated chapter 4.
Date: 23 Feb 2011 8:03 PM Title: Second chapter
Love this story!
I am a guilty for loving smut. I am a smut whore. This is very good smut so far. Please keep up the good work.
So, is Edward being honest about supporting/watching his freinds, or does he really want to get to know Isabella? I wonder if he knows her nickname, and he has decided not to use it yet? So many questions....
Can't wait for next update! I also have read and love Tara Sue Me's Triology as well!!!! If you like smut, you must check out The Training School Saga by TheSpoiltOne!!! It is fantastically yummy!
Thank you for your comment. I like reading and writing about anything, but it so happens that I discovered people here like to read smut, so I give them what they like :-)
I have read The Training School Saga (I have read a lot of smut since last year, lol) and loved it.
To answer your questions, yes, much more smut is yet to come in this little fantasy of mine. Edward is being honest with Bella about everything he told her so far. As this story is centered on E&B, we won't really get to know if Edward's pals are the jerks he told Bella they were. I suspect they are not as bad as he described them, otherwise Bella's friends woudn't be interested in sleeping with them, would they?
Date: 15 Feb 2011 10:29 PM Title: First chapter
i admire you for wrting and outting yoru work out there but the premise of the story seems kinda stupid.
You shouldn't read this story if you're looking for something serious and plausible. We're on surreal territory here, dear.
Date: 15 Feb 2011 9:34 PM Title: Second chapter
Wow, I think you take the award for most unique storyline. I am a bit surprised there was not more fall-out from the ladies even after they found out they were kidnapped to teach these executives how to treat ladies [sounds ironic as I type it out]. The girls are all cool, you stragers get to give me orgasms for the next 2 hours, let's go...I think I would put up a bit more fight, but that is why it's fiction :)
Edwards Admission was interesting and I hope sincere, maybe he is not the pigs his friends are, but he wanted to meet Bella...that is kinda sweet in a way.
Now I am off to do some more research on these Ben Wa balls. They sound very interesting!
This story is mostly told from Bella's perspective and she spends a lot of time with Edward, meaning we don't get to learn much about Edward's pals except that they are supposed to act like jerks with women, but is it really the case? How well does Edward know his friends and their bad manners? And obviously if this was a realistic story, Bella and her friends would have tried to escape the minute they woke up in the rustic bedroom, instead of going for a shower, lol.
Date: 15 Feb 2011 8:15 PM Title: Second chapter
The circumstances are a bid weird. How they came to the place and why, but the story is very well written and fun to read! I am looking forward to what the others have to say about their men.
This fiction is utterly surrealistic, so I'd say the circumstances are more than just a bit weird...:-)