Date: 14 Jun 2012 6:30 AM Title: Change for the Better
This story starts out real well, and I enjoyed reading about young Charlie Swan, and his early days in Forks. It looks like you haven't updated for quite a while. Do you plan on finishing this? I hope so, I would really like to see where it goes.
Author's Response:
It's nice to see you found your way to this from Honeymoon in Vegas. I do want to finish this story. As soon as real life slows down this is at th etop of my list of things to do.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)
[Report This]Date: 30 Sep 2010 1:08 PM Title: Change for the Better
It's so funny to see Charlie as a rookie cop! I thought for sure the call down at the high school was going to be Renee!
Worried about Charlie's Mom, though...
Author's Response:
I'm having so much fun writing rookie Charlie. We aren't quite ready for Renee to fully pop into the story.
The thing I hate about writing this canon is that Charlie does not have a happy story for most of it. I love his character and hate having to write all of his tragedies but I want to keep the story true to the Twilight universe.
Thanks so much for taking the time to check this first chapter out and review :)
Date: 20 Sep 2010 11:49 PM Title: Change for the Better
Well, you've seen most of these comments already, but I just love this story so much that I wanted to put them out there for everyone to see *claps excitedly*
Charlie’s in the same HS graduating class as me *smiles* Suddenly I don’t feel so old anymore *giggles*
I liked that Charlie wasn’t always so straight-laced. It shows he was a good kid for the most part, yet not perfect - totally ‘real’ and believable.
I don’t know if it was intentional, but I like that you chose Crowley for Charlie to want to hit since it was (I'm assuming his son) Tyler Crowley that hit Bella’s truck – it explains his strong reaction that was in the movie.
And it’s interesting that he didn’t go into law enforcement because he necessarily wanted to…it was a job by default. That’s interesting since he grew to love it so much.
It's nice to see that he, as did Bella, take school seriously. She must have gotten her studiousness from Charlie...I doubt it was from Renee *chuckles*
I thought it was interesting how he called his dad 'Geoffrey' - at least I assumed that was Charlie's dad...reminded me of Bella and how that could have been where she got it from – calling her parents by their first names when she referred to them in her own head. Makes sense.
And then there's Joshua Uley...never did like him...well, we didn't really know about him, but I always thought he was sort of a loser so this just confirms everything in my mind. And you created a back story for Sam's dad that totally fit in with SM's story, so that's really cool.
Oh, and I didn't mention before...I like Detective Bailey – that was my maiden name *smiles*
Oh, I like how you incorporated Charlie's parents being quiet at the dinner table which also helps explain why he was that way...it's how he was raised.
It's nice to see him with his parents. It's not something we got from SM's story. I am very concerned about his mother...I feel my heart breaking for him already...
And now Billy and Harry meet Charlie - that's great. I'm happy that they're still going to be friends! And Charlie's love of fishing is such a part of him – I'm glad you incorporated it into this story ;-)
I also liked how you gave Charlie an opportunity to go back to the school so the teachers and principal can see how much Charlie has grown up and become the fine man that they probably envisioned.
Brad Mallory *laughs* I'm guessing that will be Lauren's dad *snickers*? Pain in the neck just like his daughter will be *snorts*
And I'm guessing that the beautiful girl is Renee...I didn't realize Renee was that much younger than Charlie, but now that I think about it, I guess that sounds right.
And I'm back to being worried about Charlie's mom...my heart already hurts for him... *frowns*
Okay...fantastic, wonderful, amazing!!!!!! You make Charlie great! Love your Charlie!!!
Author's Response:
I loved the idea of Charlie being a bad boy in high school. I could totally see a younger Billy Burke raising hell at high school ;) I think it also gives Charlie a bit more perspective for his job and when Bella comes back to live with him in Twilight,
Choosing Crowley as Charlie's punching bag in school was totally intentional. I kept thinking about his reaction to Tyler in the ER and couldn't resist.
When I decided to make Charlie a bad boy it only seemed logical to make law enforcement his last resort. Most of the blue collar workers in that area would end up at the mill and I just could never see Charlie doing that. I liked making him go through everything and settle on being a cop and actually loving it.
It only seemed logical to show all of the traits Bella has that could never have come from Renee in Charlie. I love how much she is like him even though she only spent a few weeks a year with him.
I thought Uley needed to be a truly disgusting person since he was a bad father to Sam and possibly fathered Embry. I don't want to think any of the other guys cheated on their women.
I loved writing this first chapter and can't wait to get further in the story. Thanks so much for being so supportive and loving my Charlie :)
~Jenn
Date: 20 Sep 2010 8:25 PM Title: Change for the Better
I love this story can't wait to read more.
Author's Response:
I'm glad you liked this first chapter of Charlie's story. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :) ~Jenn
Date: 20 Sep 2010 6:12 PM Title: Change for the Better
Intrigued....can't wait to see how this develops!
BTW - nice to know the apples don't fall far from the tree, if you know what I mean!
Author's Response:
I'm glad you are intrigued. I hope you like what I have planned for Charlie and Renee.
I tried to show some similarities between Bella and Charlie. I thought it was important since Renee is so opposite to Bella that we see how she is like Charlie :)
Thanks so muich for reading and reviewing!
~Jenn