Date: 11 Jul 2012 1:21 PM Title: Drunken Cowboys
oh my god,i am nearly crying with laughter!the visual of Edward in the kitchen,naked as a jaybird,tipping his hat politely to Bella...
btw,are all other birds clothed?why is it that only the jaybird is called out on it?;)
Date: 24 Aug 2010 7:17 PM Title: Drunken Cowboys
a279;I absolutely LOVE it! That was awesome! I don’t know which part I laughed at the hardest between Carmen throwing the boys outside, Jasper having a heart to heart with the goat or Naked Edward and the cow incident. That was just great, it made everything fall in place, from Bella witnessing what she
thought was the boys making fun of her to Edward running around naked. You are beyond awesome and amazing!!!!
Date: 24 Aug 2010 2:40 AM Title: Drunken Cowboys
Fun outtake! Thanks for writing this.
One correction: all verbs in a sentence (and in the same paragraph) should be the same tense. Mixing verb tenses can cause what I like to call "mental stumbles" for your reader, as the shift in tense makes them pause in their reading to try to figure out what is happening.
Example from this chapter: "she sure is pretty and she had great breasts" should be "she sure is pretty and she has great breasts"
I've seen this a few times in your chapters, so you might want to be on the lookout for this. Also, in a verb phrase the helping verb determines the tense. Hope this helps.