Date: 09 Jul 2010 11:28 AM Title: Chapter 27
great chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
[Report This]Date: 09 Jul 2010 6:48 AM Title: Chapter 27
You did a great job on the courtroom scene. If I was on the jury, I would have Jacob committed. He has nothing & is only making himself look stupid. Can't wait to hear his defense!
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 09 Jul 2010 6:06 AM Title: Chapter 27
he has no chance good chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 09 Jul 2010 4:53 AM Title: Chapter 27
Well I guess that this nightmare is hopefully almost over for them because he hasn't made a case in his favor has he??
Author's Response:
Thank you. Hopefully;)
[Report This]Date: 09 Jul 2010 4:27 AM Title: Chapter 27
Wow, I need to take a deep breath now.
Damn that was intense!!
Bravo!
(loved having it in Em's pov, btw. ;) )
Author's Response:
Thank you:) I thought it would be nice to tell it from a different POV
Date: 09 Jul 2010 4:14 AM Title: Chapter 27
I liked that chapter and Jacob is so funny just throwing out questions. Were you drinking? Are you and Rosalie gay? lol that was too funny and Bella's response to sleeping with Edward was awesome. keep up the great work. thanks again bye
Author's Response:
lol, Thanks:)
[Report This]Date: 09 Jul 2010 3:20 AM Title: Chapter 27
If I was on that jury I would give Jacob the chair that crazy fucker and I don't trust Billy either. I hope he doesn't do anything to Bella.
Author's Response: Thank you:)
[Report This]Date: 09 Jul 2010 2:21 AM Title: Chapter 27
Jacob has done nothign but prove he is a sane nutjob! Hope he gets the full punishment and Bella and Edward can move on swiftly.
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 08 Jul 2010 9:38 PM Title: Chapter 26
Well I am thinking that Jacob is just cementing the fact that he doesn't know what he is doing. It was rather funny for him to try to say that the girls were all in love with each other and that is why they didn't like him.
Date: 08 Jul 2010 7:53 PM Title: Chapter 26
doing good so far just give the basterd the chair great chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you for this and all the reviews:)
Date: 08 Jul 2010 7:51 PM Title: Chapter 26
well for winging it you are doing an awesome job. :) I like it so far. I'm sad there's no more lemons but completely understandable. keep up the great work. thanks again bye
Author's Response:
Thank you:) The lemons will be coming(hehe) back soon, I promise.
Date: 08 Jul 2010 7:32 PM Title: Chapter 24
so cute love the gifts great chapter
Date: 08 Jul 2010 6:55 PM Title: Chapter 20
love that the t-birds funny favorite show growing up great chapter
Date: 08 Jul 2010 6:22 PM Title: Chapter 17
that was beautiful great chapter
Date: 08 Jul 2010 6:12 PM Title: Chapter 15
finally one of them is awake great chapter
Date: 08 Jul 2010 5:39 PM Title: Chapter 12
so sweet great chapter
Date: 08 Jul 2010 5:12 PM Title: Chapter 9
he insane great chapter even if he so disturbing
Date: 08 Jul 2010 5:06 PM Title: Chapter 8
wow that was extremely intense
Date: 08 Jul 2010 4:24 PM Title: Chapter 7
sweet chapter love his pov
Date: 08 Jul 2010 3:23 PM Title: Chapter 5
beautiful chapter Jake a Physco
Date: 08 Jul 2010 2:27 PM Title: Chapter 2
Edward makes every bad day better .... what a joy for him to be at the hospital too!
Date: 08 Jul 2010 2:24 PM Title: Chapter 1
Loving the reunion!!! Great story!
Date: 08 Jul 2010 11:43 AM Title: Chapter 26
Jacob sure is a crazy loon that is definite. Wonder what tomorrow will bring.
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 08 Jul 2010 11:40 AM Title: Chapter 26
great chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 08 Jul 2010 11:39 AM Title: Chapter 26
I can't believe Jacob was trying to pull the lesbian card. He is desperate.
Author's Response:
He's crazy!
Date: 08 Jul 2010 5:56 AM Title: Chapter 26
You're doing fine in the courtroom. Don't understand why Billy is so mad. Doesn't he realize Jacob is sick? Bella & company are doing Billy a favor. Jacob has to be stopped!
BTW - couldn't respond to your Breadcrumbs question but the reason I think it's Jacob is because of what Charlie told Bella in her dream! I'm guessing of course but that's what's so fun about giving immediate feedback to the authors & making guesses!
Great stories!
Author's Response:
Thank you:) Billy is just pissed! Period!
As for breadcrumbs, I will tell you this I love twists and this one had quite a few ;)
[Report This]Date: 08 Jul 2010 5:44 AM Title: Chapter 26
Great job I think with no courtroom experience. :)
And I do LOVE that sexy banner by mkystich!! Kellan looks mighty fine!!
Author's Response:
Doesn't he? Nothing sexier than a man dressed like that!
Date: 08 Jul 2010 4:55 AM Title: Chapter 26
OMG what the hell how do you have a realtionship when you've NEVER had a relationship. Why didn't Jacob ask Emmett or Jasper any questions? I love the banner.
Author's Response:
Thank you for both reviews. Yes, it's good that Bella is talking and, even though it was hard on Em, she needs to get it out.
As for Jacob....He's crazy.
Date: 08 Jul 2010 4:39 AM Title: Chapter 25
This was very emotional chapter. I love Em but sometimes. I happy Bella is talking and getting everything off her chest.
Date: 07 Jul 2010 12:35 PM Title: Chapter 25
great chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 07 Jul 2010 9:32 AM Title: Chapter 11
Shouldn't have Alice had Edwards blood on her scrubs?
Author's Response:
excellant point:)
Date: 07 Jul 2010 7:53 AM Title: Chapter 25
poor emmit ..god i love his big heart
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
[Report This]Date: 07 Jul 2010 4:32 AM Title: Chapter 25
Awww...
Emmett would never have acted like that on purpose, particularly if the behavior reminded Bella of Jacob. Emmett should have had more tact. I know he loves to have fun, but he took it too far this time. :(
I was kinda hoping that Edward would've proposed to Bella since it was New Year's Eve...too cliche I guess. LOL
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 07 Jul 2010 4:31 AM Title: Chapter 25
I kinna feel sorry for Em there but she did tell him to leave her alone and stop bothering her and he didn't. I hope that this year goes better for them than the last one did.
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 07 Jul 2010 4:08 AM Title: Chapter 25
poor Bella. that girl is miserable. and poor Emmett for getting snapped at like that but she warned him. :) keep up the great work. thanks again bye
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 07 Jul 2010 3:41 AM Title: Chapter 25
Bella's reactions & feelings are perfectly normal. I love that you're not sugar coating the PTSD.
Good work!
Author's Response: Thank you:)
Date: 04 Jul 2010 5:12 AM Title: Chapter 24
Aww.... That was sweet!! They got a bunch of toys for christmas I wish that I could get cool things like that for christmas!
Author's Response:
Me too! To be a kid again....
[Report This]Date: 04 Jul 2010 5:03 AM Title: Chapter 24
aweeeee so sweet..nice fluffy chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 04 Jul 2010 5:00 AM Title: Chapter 23
I think that Bella is just thinking that Edward is going to leave her again and I really don't think that she understands that he can't live without her anymore.
Author's Response:
You're right, she doesn't.
[Report This]Date: 04 Jul 2010 4:40 AM Title: Chapter 24
You know what was the best part? Nothing extravagant was exchanged for Christmas. They just tried to recapture all that they remembered & missed. Good job!
Author's Response:
Thank you:) When I started on this chapter, I wanted something that would remind them of what they used to have. Pluse they wouldn't have had much time to shop ;)
Date: 04 Jul 2010 3:57 AM Title: Chapter 24
aww they are all too sweet. I love it. thanks again bye
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 04 Jul 2010 3:08 AM Title: Chapter 24
I never had a cabbage patch kid they always freaked me out but yeah I actually got an email telling me about this chapter...woo who!!
Author's Response:
lol, I had a couple of them but never realized how creepy they were. Glad you got the email ;)
[Report This]Date: 03 Jul 2010 10:43 PM Title: Chapter 23
At least group went well and hopefully it will help them.
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
[Report This]Date: 03 Jul 2010 10:32 PM Title: Chapter 22
I'm till not getting my email updates but I knew something wasn't right with that Mattew's guy when they mentioned him. Jacob has a fool for a client.
Author's Response:
Hmm, I wonder why you are not getting the updates.
Date: 03 Jul 2010 6:18 PM Title: Chapter 23
great chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
[Report This]Date: 03 Jul 2010 4:39 AM Title: Chapter 23
Another great job! Have a great weekend!
Author's Response:
Thank you:) I hope you have a nice weekend, too:)
Date: 03 Jul 2010 3:45 AM Title: Chapter 23
I feel the worst for Edward because he had to sit and watch what was happening to Bella and not do anything about it. that's bound to drive someone crazy. that poor guy. I can't wait for more. thanks again bye
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 02 Jul 2010 12:15 PM Title: Chapter 22
It is almost a shame his father didn't die. Then he couldn't drop the charges against his son.
Author's Response: I know, right?
[Report This]Date: 02 Jul 2010 5:05 AM Title: Chapter 22
Isn't there a saying about a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client? Can't see how jacob's defense is going to hold up!
Good work!
Author's Response:
I do believe that is the saying. I happen to agree with it. Jacob is just batshit crazy :) Thank you:)
Date: 02 Jul 2010 3:58 AM Title: Chapter 9
As much as this Jacob scares me and is really sick, I have to say that I am a total E&B shipper so I'm just glad Jacob has no redeeming qualities in this story! I just hope that Bella and Edward survive!
Author's Response: Thank you:)
Date: 02 Jul 2010 3:52 AM Title: Chapter 8
OH MY GOD! I know you wouldn't kill either of them - right?! This is really serious, will they be able to overcome all of the violence?
Author's Response:
Would I kill Edward and Bella when I just brought them back together? Ok, maybe, but did I? You will have to keep reading to find out ;)
Date: 02 Jul 2010 3:37 AM Title: Chapter 7
Well that gave me a little more background about what I wanted to know. Thanks for that!
Author's Response:
lol, You're welcome:) I do want I can ;)
Date: 02 Jul 2010 3:19 AM Title: Chapter 5
So, I just have to say that I think you have all of the plot points layed out here, but I feel like we're missing some critical details and things have moved a bit too fast to make it believeable. Bella jumps right into "love" with Edward after one dinner conversation? Where is the talk about the last 13 years? Where is the discussion of the hurt feelings when he lost contact with her? Where is the question that you would probably ask - whether or not you're married or currently dating someone?
I get that they never resolved a lot of their feelings and they are probably soul mates, but I would have liked to see more discussion of how they each tried to date other people, or had relationships that didn't work out because they realized that it wasn't as perfect as their first love...etc. I would have also liked to see some more thought put into the intimate scene in Bella's bedroom. The last time they were together was when they were 15! A lot has changed for both of them - where are her comments about how much of a man Edward has become? Or his thoughts on how her body had truly turned into a woman's not a girl's?
Please don't be upset by this, because I really want to see this story succeed, but I also think it would be so much better if you varied your sentenc structure more and really tried to combine and simplfy things that are redundant. Case in point - the scene in the last chapter when everyone is greeting each other at Esme's front door. You might have been able to convey your point with fewer words, but by using them in a different way. The same could be said for the sex scene - it was a little clinical and mechanical (..."first he did this, then he did that, the he did something else"). I think you might want to consider getting a better to help you out a little. It's hard to catch it all yourself and i think it would make it easier on you if you had someone to pre-read and catch things that might make it all flow so much better.
Again, I am not trying to be anything other than constructive here so please don't be mad. I will keep reading (this is ony chapter 5 so maybe these comments are unwarranted) and letting you know my thoughts. Of course you can totally ignore me and I'll read anyway - that's fine too. ;-)
Author's Response:
First of all, I never mind suggestions, help, or opinions, good or bad, on anythingI have written. As for a few of your suggestions, Bella didn't just fall in love with Edward, she's always been in love with Edward, and he her. The whole point of this story, was that they never gave up hope of one day finding each other again. Unbelievable perhaps, but that's one of those great things about stories, they don't have to be 100% believable.
I agree with your point on sentence structure, using my words better, and I think that is something that I did much better on as the story conitues. As for the sex scenes, I think they too get better. This story is already complete so there isn't really anything I can do about content but I will try to catch the mistakes and fix them before I put up the next chapter. Anyway, please keep the reviews coming because I really do value your opinion and any pointers, suggestions, and tips that will make me a better writer on future stories.
Date: 02 Jul 2010 3:05 AM Title: Chapter 22
That sucks because only people that are crazy try to defend themselves in cases like that so that they can get off on a technicallity. I hope that Jacob goes to jail where he needs to be and that Bella gets the help that she needs right now to deal with all of this stress.
Author's Response: Thank you:)
Date: 02 Jul 2010 2:17 AM Title: Chapter 22
aww as long as you have family, that's all you need. :) I love how Jake is a big douche and is saying that he's not guilty even though they have 6 or 7 witnesses saying he did. too funny. keep up the great work. thanks again bye
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 02 Jul 2010 1:54 AM Title: Chapter 22
great chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
[Report This]Date: 02 Jul 2010 1:48 AM Title: Chapter 1
Wow, very intriguing concept and I can't wait to read more. Not sure if you realized there are some typos here (believe me, not complaining but just thought I'd mention them in case you're not using a beta).
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 01 Jul 2010 4:58 PM Title: Chapter 21
It was good that they had that conversation because things might not be so hard for them now.
Author's Response:
Thank you for all the reviews:)
Date: 01 Jul 2010 3:42 PM Title: Chapter 21
I am so glad that they talked. Edward would always want and love Bella. She will heal
Author's Response: Thank you:)
Date: 01 Jul 2010 12:29 PM Title: Chapter 21
Great chapter! :) I'm glad they finally talked about it. It is so Edward and Bella to blame themselves. lol. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 01 Jul 2010 8:31 AM Title: Chapter 20
Finally they are getting some normalacy back into their lives. That is alway the best thing after something like a hospital visit to get things back to normal.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 8:19 AM Title: Chapter 19
Well lets hope that now they are going to get better soon.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 8:12 AM Title: Chapter 18
Now they should be ok because they are in the same room and can be next to each other.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 8:04 AM Title: Chapter 17
Oh thank God that Bella finally woke up all it took was getting to spend time with Edward.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 7:57 AM Title: Chapter 16
That is terrible that he is now having dreams about not being able to save her.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 7:50 AM Title: Chapter 15
Thank goodness that Edward is awake but I think he is going to freak out if he doesn't get to see that Bella is going to be ok for himself.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 7:43 AM Title: Chapter 14
That was cute seeing how they were growing up!!
Date: 01 Jul 2010 7:31 AM Title: Chapter 12
That is so sad that it broke Carlisle's heart to do that to his family. While it was the best thing for him to do at the time it is sad that they had to be apart for 13 years.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 7:27 AM Title: Chapter 21
great chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you:)
Date: 01 Jul 2010 7:20 AM Title: Chapter 10
Well at least they made it through the night and that is good. I hope that they are going to be ok and that Jacob gets what he has coming to him.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 7:07 AM Title: Chapter 9
I hope that he is wrong and that they can be helped and it isn't too late for them.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 7:02 AM Title: Chapter 8
Oh man I am glad that Rose and Em came in when they did. I hope that they are both going to be ok.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 6:53 AM Title: Chapter 7
That is sad that he spent all that time looking for her only to get goated into working for his father and finding her.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 6:46 AM Title: Chapter 6
That is scary that Jacob just disapeared but I am sure that he didn't leave without telling his father the commisioner where he was going so that he could help him.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 6:33 AM Title: Chapter 5
How cute is it that all the guys want to protect them?
Date: 01 Jul 2010 6:22 AM Title: Chapter 4
What did Jacob do? I hope that he doesn't get a chance to get to Bella!
Date: 01 Jul 2010 6:13 AM Title: Chapter 3
It amazes me that they just seemed to pick up where they left off all of those years ago. I am happy that they did though.
Date: 01 Jul 2010 6:00 AM Title: Chapter 2
So now it is time for Rose and Alice to grill Bella for more information on "Her Boys."
Date: 01 Jul 2010 5:50 AM Title: Chapter 1
That is amazing that after all of these years they have found each other again!
Date: 01 Jul 2010 5:12 AM Title: Chapter 21
This was a chapter worth crying over.
Author's Response:
Thank you for this, and all the other reviews:)
Date: 01 Jul 2010 4:57 AM Title: Chapter 20
I love the fun and laughter
Date: 01 Jul 2010 4:43 AM Title: Chapter 19
A little laughing thanks!
Date: 01 Jul 2010 4:30 AM Title: Chapter 18
OMG!!!!
Date: 01 Jul 2010 4:20 AM Title: Chapter 17
Well I guess Nessie isn't marrying Jacob.
Author's Response:
Nope:)