Date: 23 Jan 2015 11:55 AM Title: Chapter 3
You had a really neat idea going here and I really enjoyed it! Too bad you never took this any further.
Date: 18 Jul 2014 1:08 AM Title: Chapter 1
Would love to see this as a story
Date: 02 Feb 2013 7:42 PM Title: Chapter 1
loved it wow
hope you decide to extend this fict
Date: 20 Jul 2012 2:08 PM Title: Chapter 1
I love it keep doing your thing girl
Date: 24 Sep 2010 1:36 PM Title: Chapter 3
I can't find the poll! I like it!
Date: 11 May 2010 9:10 PM Title: Chapter 3
yes, yes, yes, i want to be with my edward forever tooooooooooo. i can't find the poll. i vote surprise, or no nightmares at alll!!!!!!!1
Date: 11 May 2010 8:52 PM Title: Chapter 2
so perfect, can't wait to read each and every chapter!!!!!!!!!
Date: 11 May 2010 8:40 PM Title: Chapter 1
whew!!! i need a cold drink or somethin after that. yowza!!
Date: 24 Apr 2010 4:44 AM Title: Chapter 3
ok well....I will just tell you what I think....(isn't that what reviews are for???)
Anyways.......I don't care what you do...a series or whatever. BUT you SHOULD continue it.
The only thing I have to say...and I am speaking not as a reader right now but as a beta.
I don't know how serious or intense you want your story to be. Having said that, I think it would be good if you wrote how everyone around them in their lives whether it be at home, school, etc. comes to terms with this sudden and powerful relationship.
If I remember correctly, Bella is the 'new girl' in town. How is everyone else going to think?........................ "the new girl and the untouchable Edward are sooooooo wrapped up into each other it is like they knew each other all along."
How would Charlie deal with it?
If they just start being in a heavy duty relationship how well do they know each other? Are they picking up where they left off? Did they leave off from some where? What caused their dreams?
Does Bella have a dormant, but VERY powerful ability/power as a human that she will develop into when she becomes a vampire?
Are you going to write them getting to know each other...or how they fell in love?
I am afraid that if this story just dives right into being a sex-filled smutacular story.....then you could potentially lose a few of the readers....well, no not lose the readers....but I will be one to think....'well, if I am horny and want to read smut then I am gonna look up your story'
And there is nothing wrong with that AT ALL!.....but if you want a plot line I think you need to add more to it.
NOW...having said all of that.......I want you to keep it going. I really like how you have them crazy in love with each other and everyone is shocked...like what in the hell is happening here...I would love to see how Charlie reacts.....as well as other people. And most importantly, I want to see them being very loving and PDA and all that shit at school no holds bar...which is very much unlike the original books!
And please.....if you bring Tanya, Lauren, or Jessica into this story as a means to cause drama and help develop your plot.....by all means that is fine! But would you write it so that Bella kicks their asses!?!?!?!?!?!? Maybe not Tanya because she is a vamp and Bella isn't at the moment.....but maybe Bella's talent could be that she gets into Tanya's head and causes her to go stupid or something!
It's just, hardly anyone writes Tanya (SLUT WHORE BITCH) getting her ass handed to her by Bella.....or any other bithc for that matter like Lauren or Jessica.....they always get it from Rose or Alice....I want to see Bella stand up for what is hers and hers ALONE!!!!!!!!
Now......how long was this crazy ass note?
Date: 24 Apr 2010 4:22 AM Title: Chapter 2
I loved it! I really liked how Alice and Bella are on the same page! Awesome!
[Report This]Date: 21 Apr 2010 7:40 PM Title: Chapter 3
loved it very much can't wait to see what happens next update soon thanks....nice lemon also
[Report This]Date: 21 Apr 2010 7:23 PM Title: Chapter 3
Awesome! heheheh :)
Date: 21 Apr 2010 7:18 PM Title: Chapter 3
i loved it
Date: 19 Apr 2010 8:11 PM Title: Chapter 2
I LIKE IT SO DIFFERENT FROM OTHER STORIES. BELLA AND ALICE ARE SO FUNNY.
Date: 19 Apr 2010 6:37 PM Title: Chapter 2
So glad you decided to make it a longer story :)
Date: 19 Apr 2010 3:53 PM Title: Chapter 2
Great chapter, thanks for keeping this story going. Cant wait to see the reaction to Alices statement on Bella being Edwards mate. Does Edward already know or is this a surprise. Update again soon.
[Report This]Date: 19 Apr 2010 12:14 PM Title: Chapter 2
loved it very much uodate soon thanks.....
Date: 19 Apr 2010 7:11 AM Title: Chapter 2
YAY im so glad you're expanding this. Cant wait to see how he reacts.
Date: 18 Apr 2010 12:08 PM Title: Chapter 1
Oh, girl you need to to keep the story moving along!
Date: 18 Apr 2010 2:46 AM Title: Chapter 1
I definately think this has a very promising start! I would love to see you take Edward and Bella out to play. SM was way too tame with these two. You seem like you have a dirty enough mind to corupt them. ;)
[Report This]Date: 17 Apr 2010 10:27 PM Title: Chapter 1
omg, that was hottt. you need to continue it and make it a whole story. i know that will be hottt too.
Date: 17 Apr 2010 8:12 PM Title: Chapter 1
I'm absolutely interested if you feel like you want to. No I will kill you if we have sex thing tho right? There will be smexin?
What? I'm looking for some good smex. ;)
Date: 17 Apr 2010 3:39 PM Title: Chapter 1
you should really make this into a full story, i LOVED it [:
Date: 17 Apr 2010 7:47 AM Title: Chapter 1
that was hilarious...and very parallel...to SMs novel anyway...sheesh...the ultimate cockblock!
Date: 17 Apr 2010 4:54 AM Title: Chapter 1
This is so good. Wasnt expecting that twist at all. Please expand it.
[Report This]Date: 17 Apr 2010 1:57 AM Title: Chapter 1
would love to see more
Date: 17 Apr 2010 1:52 AM Title: Chapter 1
Great one shot, but could be very interesting if you keep going with it. I think I would love. Please keep going. Cant wait to see if Edward is waiting for her in forks.
Date: 17 Apr 2010 12:01 AM Title: Chapter 1
yummy!!!!!!! I like it! Great job at hooking us! I think this could definitely carry on as a story.....Bella ends up in Forks still having an "Edward" in the back of her mind.....Alice sees it all coming...Bella kinda taunts Edward who doesn't want to kill her as badly as in the original books and is more sexually amped up.....yes...I could definitely see this continuing!
Date: 16 Apr 2010 11:22 PM Title: Chapter 1
ooh, ooh, i'm first! but i know i won't be the last.
yeah, DEFINITELY make this a multi-chaptered story, please!
i loved it -- esp edward crawling over her! and i LOVED the surprise twist ending. i didn't expect that, but really liked it. makes me think of their first meeting in a whole new way now.
mmm, juicy -- thanks!