Date: 14 Nov 2017 10:53 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Carlisle is a creepy fuck. Bella is a smart women
Date: 14 Nov 2017 10:29 AM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
She is so broken so lost
Date: 14 Nov 2017 10:20 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
OMG Evil Evil Evil my heart is breaking for Bella and Edward.
Date: 14 Nov 2017 7:33 AM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
I read this chapter and felt like I had missed something so I looked back at the rpevious chapters and discovered I hadn't read at least the last 5. Apparently I wasn't getting the update notifications. I'm happy to be all caught up now and patiently waiting to see how they reconcile...or do they?
Date: 13 Nov 2017 9:35 PM Title: Making a Run for It
LMAO! I rarely comment, so there’s no way I’m “well known”. Nice try though. π And like I said, why would I give any personal info to such a hateful person?
Date: 13 Nov 2017 8:51 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
Ok well i was so excited for them to meet but that is not what i was expecting at all. Granted edward calling her a whore was a big no no! He won't make that mistake again!
Date: 13 Nov 2017 8:31 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
nice update and good for her she doesn't need to take his shit.
Date: 13 Nov 2017 8:06 PM Title: Making a Run for It
I would've been more than happy to tell you the names of my books and poetry that have been published, but with the way you've reacted, why would I do that?
I usually leave positive reviews, so I have no clue what you are talking about. What few times I've said anything negative, as you called it, was once again constructive criticism - something you obviously cannot differentiate between. In fact, I love to encourage writers that have potential, which I did with you at first, if you'll recall. Your story just took such a bizarre turn, that I had to tell you that. Trust me, this will be the last time you get a review from me.
Author's Response:
You are well known in the fandom for your "reviews". Think on that for a moment. Maybe your "constructive criticism" is not as constructive as you might think, because I have talked to other authors and they feel the same why I do about them. I also think it is funny that you won't share your "published" work. I thought all published authors loved sharing their work to others.
Date: 13 Nov 2017 7:32 PM Title: Making a Run for It
It's truly a shame that you have such a bad attitude - sarcasm will get you nowhere. I really had high hopes for your story, but I will no longer continue to read it. Part of being a writer is learning how to take criticism and growing as an author. You really need to work on that. Regardless, I wish you luck with your story/writing.
Author's Response:
I requested the name of the book that you published. You made it seem that you knew more than I did and wanted to see your work. I guess it is either of two things: Either you are not a published author or you don't want me to know and pass judgement on your storyline anc characters. I love my story and my characters. I stand up for my work from the likes of you. I went through your reviews of other authors and I see a pattern of negativity. Are you that bitter that the only thing that gives you pleasure is to cut down authors who post stories for you to read for FREE? I am happy you are not going to read my story, one less long review that meant nothing to me other than it increase my review count.
Date: 13 Nov 2017 5:27 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
Loved it can't wait for more π’
Date: 13 Nov 2017 10:11 AM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
That was to short! MORE PLZ, THANK YOU!
Date: 13 Nov 2017 3:48 AM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
No omg please write your next chapter down leave us like that !LOL can't wait to read more hopefully soon thank you for writing a wonderful story love it.
Date: 13 Nov 2017 3:09 AM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
I cannot believe the woman who didn't like a strong independent woman named Bella. I don't know what she expected but obviously it's not a sweet taking Bella. I love her and I feel so bad for Edward, I really do. Clo, I know you write the stories as they come to you and I've read almost all of them. Each story is different and each character's manners are unique. That's what makes a great story. I remember telling you about how much I hated and feared Carlisle. Any word about him from your reviewer? i am starting to feel so much different. I think that once this "strong" Bella hears what Edward says, it will be the team of a lifetime. Can hardly wait.
Date: 13 Nov 2017 12:53 AM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
Well that was too short.. more please. I love a very Strong Bella
Date: 12 Nov 2017 11:42 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
I agree with Edward 100%! Bella HAD a choice - he DIDN'T! She became a whore on her own, despite having all the money and opportunities in the world. She COULD'VE and SHOULD'VE done SO many GOOD things with that money/blessings, and honored Edward and Esme's lives that gave it to her, but instead she CHOSE to be an escort when she DIDN'T have to be! Edward should've just walked away and left her nasty ass there before she had a chance to hit him. I don't believe in hitting women, but she certainly deserves a good smack herself!
She's VERY selfish for thinking that she's the only one hurting. Doesn't she realize who Carlisle is? Surely with her extensive background checks of clients, she KNOWS who he is. She should've put two and two together, and realized that Edward and Esme didn't disappear for nothing, especially with a creep like Carlisle for a father.
*On a side note, I was the first to catch your NY/Chicago mistake, yet you chose to take offense at what I had said and claimed I was wrong until a few others had pointed it out as well. I hope you realize now that I was just trying to help you and your story by giving constructive criticism and helping to point out inconsistencies. I am a published author, so believe me when I say that I am only trying to help. ;)
Author's Response:
Oh please oh please, please tell me the title of your published work, so I gain the insight into the literary prowess of an author such as yourself. I am not trying to be critial, only to learn from someone with such knowledge in the written word.
Date: 12 Nov 2017 11:31 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
Thanks, but was that really smart? She did some real damage that Carlisle will see. A slap seems more appropriate for the name calling. And frankly, that is what she did without any excuse for needing it to make a living.
Date: 12 Nov 2017 10:06 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
LOLLLLLLL ! Way to go Bella, I love it.
Date: 12 Nov 2017 10:06 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
Well, their reuniting did not go as I expected. I can't believe that he called her a whore. Omgosh, I can't wait for the next chapter.
Date: 12 Nov 2017 8:06 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
That's how I pictured it. I hope they will get over shock & talk soon. Good for Esme finding a way to communicate
Date: 12 Nov 2017 8:00 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
:)
Date: 12 Nov 2017 7:43 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
Under the floorboard, flower pot, I can't think of anything else. Hope you have a gory fate in mind for Mike and Carlisle.
Date: 12 Nov 2017 7:08 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
Bella kicking Edward in the groin is not the reunion we had in mind but he did call her a whore.
KEEP WRITING!!!!β€οΈπ’π”₯π‘
Date: 12 Nov 2017 7:06 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
Don’t blame Bella at all. Edward has done all matters of evil stuff for his father. Who is he to condemn her till he finds out her situation.
Date: 12 Nov 2017 7:02 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
Can't wait for the update.
Date: 12 Nov 2017 2:11 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Loving this, want to kill Carlise.
Date: 10 Nov 2017 9:46 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Always a pleasure to follow this fiction. Thx !
Date: 09 Nov 2017 7:50 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Poor Esme. If not for E, she'd probably try to kill herself I bet. Can he die? Soon? Horribly? PLEASE
Date: 09 Nov 2017 7:46 PM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Sounds like Bella is a shrewd business woman herself. Wonder how long till Carlisle figures out who she is?
Date: 09 Nov 2017 7:41 PM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
Wow Bella really needed a change I guess.
Date: 09 Nov 2017 7:38 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
Wow for Bella being taken care of
ok please tell me Carlisle dies soon. Don't think I can take too many of these chapters.
Date: 09 Nov 2017 7:35 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Confessions
ok yea....you can't kill Carlisle soon enough and that slimeball B and anyone else who touches Esme
Date: 09 Nov 2017 8:52 AM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
I wonder how they are going to play off knowing each other. I hope carlisle doesn't have cameras in his bedroom.
Date: 08 Nov 2017 9:19 AM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Update again soon plz. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Date: 08 Nov 2017 9:19 AM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Update again soon plz. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Date: 06 Nov 2017 10:57 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Confessions
At some point in the last chapter and in this one you switched from Chicago as the Mafia home to New York. Not a major big deal but a little confusing. I got to chapter 11 and was really confused when Chi Town appeared..... Nice story though.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for catching my mistake. I guess that is what I get for writing two different Mafia stories at the same time. You are doll to let me know about. Thanks again.
Date: 06 Nov 2017 7:39 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Can't wait for the reunion. I wonder if they will recognize each other physically or will their souls just know.
Date: 06 Nov 2017 1:19 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
good update
Date: 05 Nov 2017 11:04 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Loved it can't wait for more π’
Date: 05 Nov 2017 10:54 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
I hate Carlisle more and more with each chapter. I can’t wait for Edward and Bella to be together. Will they recognize each other when they meet? Will they pretend they don’t because if Carlisle? Can’t wait for the next chapter.
Date: 05 Nov 2017 5:42 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Wow......its a small world and soon their paths will cross.
Date: 05 Nov 2017 4:50 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Great chapter. Can't wait to see their reactions when they meet.
Surprised at Carlisle not that he wanted to watch, but that he would ask permission and honor her decision. He will won't he?
Date: 05 Nov 2017 3:35 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Love your story can't wait to read next chapter hurry!lol
Date: 05 Nov 2017 3:34 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Can't wait for more
Date: 05 Nov 2017 2:45 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
When they meet its going to be crazy. I hope they plot to kill Carlisle. He is such a pig.
Date: 05 Nov 2017 9:37 AM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
This story started out good, & had the potential to be great, but it’s sadly taken many ridiculous turns. Bella getting over $7 million from the deaths of her soulmate & his mother is extremely unrealistic. Do you realize what insurance policies of that size would cost?! Esme wasn’t filthy rich.
And then Bella secretly gets her GED at 18 instead of just graduating by bribing her principle with $5,000, & then buys an Aston Martin - another ridiculous, unnecessary detail, to travel the US and turn into a slut. She hardly seems like she’s grieving for her soulmate. Instead, you’ve basically turned her into a heartless, materialistic whore.
She supposedly plays the stock market too on top of the millions she already has, but opens up an escort service in Chicago. Again, completely unnecessary and very gross.
Edward is supposedly the future Don of NY, and she’s in Chicago. Is that a mistake?
Then having Edward be raped by women repeatedly, especially anally while his father watched & masturbated is just disgusting & completely unnecessary. Was he underage during that? If so, that’s pedophilia!
You've turned E&B pretty much into 2 characters without any redeeming qualities now, when they started out so sweet. What son stands by and allows his mother to be gang raped for years?! Why not try to kill his dad before now or escape?! He’s had plenty of opportunities. Why hasn’t Esme told him about the evidence she stashed back in Forks? Hell, where there’s a will, there’s a way!
And while spineless Edward was forced into sex, Bella just became a whore on her own. If E&B loved each other so much, they would’ve fought harder, held out. Even with her thinking he’s dead, she could’ve waited longer than she did. She literally jumped in bed with a stranger after leaving Forks and lost her virginity. Imho, she doesn’t love Edward - just puppy love that faded rather quickly while she spent his death money whoring around & buying expensive things.
And then Carlisle hires Bella to be Edward’s escort, yet doesn’t know she’s his Bella from Forks? Any mafia Don would know that. Jasper would also know that Alice is an escort too.
I’m not trying to criticize - just trying to point some obvious things out here.
Author's Response:
I wanted to clear up so mistakes in your review. First of all Defiance is in Chicago, while my other story was in New York. Second a 5 million dollar policy on a health 25 year old woman would be only 2,000 per year. Esme took lots of money, but also made money on her art work. Carlisle is very controlling or at least I hoped I wrote him that way. Edward was scared what he might do to Esme at every turn and didn't know what might happen to both Esme and Bella if he went against him. Bella heart is broken beyond repair and doesn't want to every do anything that would cause her to ever love again. She thinks that he is DEAD. He died at the age of 16 and she waited to leave Forks until she was 18 years old, how long was she supposed to wait? As I stated Jasper thought Alice worked at a high end shop, but I guess you missed that part. I did not write at what age when Edward was made to have sex with those women, you just assumed that he was under age, but again we are talking about a cruel evil Carlisle. I'm am not criticizing your review, just wanted to point out some of the mistakes within it.
Date: 05 Nov 2017 7:29 AM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
I really hope Carlisle gets what's coming to him very soon. He is just scum.
Date: 05 Nov 2017 4:53 AM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
I've been dying for an update. Loved it and am looking forward to the next!! You are fabulous. Seriously devouring all your stories as we speak at insane speed it's not healthy XD Can't get enough!
Date: 05 Nov 2017 2:48 AM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Carlisle is just a sick and twisted man. I am glad that Edward has still gotten to see him mother. Can't wait for them to meet.
Date: 04 Nov 2017 9:16 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
Carlisle really is a nasty man.
Date: 04 Nov 2017 8:53 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
We are wondering how Edward will react to Bella having an escort service??? Will he be mad or sad???
KEEP WRITING!!!!!β€οΈπ’π”₯π‘
Date: 29 Oct 2017 11:50 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
:)
Date: 29 Oct 2017 11:50 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
:)
Date: 25 Oct 2017 5:05 PM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
I hope they recognize each other.
Date: 25 Oct 2017 5:05 PM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
I hope they recognize each other.
Date: 04 Oct 2017 2:58 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
wow, this chapter covers a lot , is like forward edward situation by 10 years i feel. anticipation is killing me . is just wierd to see bella choose this career as she is daughter of chief in small town and she was very innocent and now she had vip escourt wierd. and i am sure carlise knows about bella very well that she is the one edward grow up with it
Date: 01 Oct 2017 5:57 PM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Can't wait for the reunion it's going to be great look forward to next update x
Date: 29 Sep 2017 6:37 PM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
thank you for the update....will they remember one another?
Date: 28 Sep 2017 1:45 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
nice update
Date: 27 Sep 2017 10:41 PM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
I am surprised at the type of business that Bella is in. Loving this story. Can't wait for them to meet.
Date: 27 Sep 2017 5:59 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Edward & bella are going to freakout when they see each other! Looks like carlisle had begin to dig his own grave!!
Date: 27 Sep 2017 3:51 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Finally... I'm so happy they'll get together
Date: 27 Sep 2017 3:32 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Great story, but I'm a little confused. Does Carlisle hope he can get Bella to sleep with him or Edward?
Date: 27 Sep 2017 1:58 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Hope Esme is ok....
Finally they get to meet again... How long has it been that they have not seen each other?
Date: 27 Sep 2017 1:47 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Wow
Date: 27 Sep 2017 1:01 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
WHAT OMG!!!! Bella is a escort!!!! WOW!!!
Betting time: Will they recognize each other???
19 say yes
13 say no
Who is going to start my Bridge day on October 21st???
KEEP WRITING!!!!π’β€οΈπ”₯π‘π€
Date: 26 Sep 2017 11:26 PM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Oh this is going to be fabulously good and l just can't wait. I wonder if they will recognise each other? I so feel for Edward, he has no one to confide in and no friend to trust. Am hoping Jasper eventually will be a source of help and an associate in bringing Carlise down.
Date: 26 Sep 2017 10:31 PM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
OMG! Kill fucking Carlisle lol ! Love your story can't wait to read more and see BellaAnd Edward together again ,and I hope Emse is ok .
Date: 26 Sep 2017 10:05 PM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Can't wait to read if they recognize each other!
Date: 18 Sep 2017 7:52 PM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
I can't wait until Edward finds her and they can be happy again.
Date: 15 Sep 2017 6:14 PM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
Loving this story, but so sad for Bella, Edward, her parents and Esme, my heart breaks for them all.
Date: 15 Sep 2017 6:06 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
I hope Carlisle gets everything coming to him for what he's done to them and I hope it's painful
Date: 10 Sep 2017 8:52 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
Carlisle is real evil.
Date: 10 Sep 2017 5:18 AM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
nice update
Date: 10 Sep 2017 2:14 AM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
She ended up in chicago!! I hope edward has killed carlisle or on the verge of killing him! Edward is going to be so shocked to see her. I'm so excited for the next couple of chapters!!
Date: 10 Sep 2017 1:17 AM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
Poor Bella! I wonder where she has ended up and if she'll run into Tony!
Date: 10 Sep 2017 12:01 AM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
Lets its not Chicago
Date: 09 Sep 2017 11:41 PM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
Is she in New York????
KEEP WRITING!!!!!π’β€οΈπ”₯π‘π€
Date: 09 Sep 2017 11:36 PM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
So sad...
Date: 09 Sep 2017 11:07 PM Title: Chapter 10 Wandering Heart
Heartbreaking!
Date: 06 Sep 2017 4:55 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
Poor Edward. Stay strong and eventually kill your sperm donor.
Date: 06 Sep 2017 1:41 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
Poor Edward! I can't wait for him to kill Carlisle and rescue his mom. Carlisle is beyond evil and deserves to be tortured and killed. Maybe Esme will find a way to get to the DVD and save them both. I wonder how long it will be until Edward sees Bella again. Did Esme leave anything behind that would give Charlie a clue to search for them? Looking forward to the next chapter.
Date: 05 Sep 2017 8:41 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
good update
Date: 05 Sep 2017 7:06 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
MORE please!!! I just hope that Bella finds what Esme hid in the treehouse before it's too late!
Date: 05 Sep 2017 5:25 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
So very sad. My heart breaks for both Edward and Bella.
Date: 04 Sep 2017 10:31 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
Carlisle is creating his the man that will take his life.
Date: 04 Sep 2017 8:29 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
I really hope Edward kills Carlisle slowly.
Date: 04 Sep 2017 5:47 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
Poor Edward
Date: 04 Sep 2017 5:39 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
Carlisle is a monster. Wondering why Esme bought the large insurance policy. Something tells me there was a reason.
Date: 04 Sep 2017 5:27 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
I hope that Esme is able to get a message to Charlie soon
Date: 04 Sep 2017 4:28 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
Carlisle is truly evil!
Date: 04 Sep 2017 4:27 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
KEEP WRITING!!!!!β€οΈπ’π”₯π‘π€
Date: 04 Sep 2017 3:21 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Saying Goodbye to Your Heart
Wow please uodate soon
Date: 23 Aug 2017 2:28 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Confessions
Edward needs to start plotting the death of his father.
Date: 22 Aug 2017 1:33 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Confessions
nice story so far.
Date: 13 Aug 2017 9:14 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Confessions
Love your story this chapter I was crying. Can't wait to read more , I hope Bella finds the DVD .
Date: 08 Aug 2017 12:26 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Confessions
OMG! I am so worried for both of them. Carlisle is beyond evil! I can't wait until Edward or someone can take him out!! I hope he's tortured before they end his miserable existence!
Date: 07 Aug 2017 7:42 AM Title: Chapter 8 - Confessions
This is getting good! Thank you!
Date: 07 Aug 2017 3:13 AM Title: Chapter 8 - Confessions
I hate this Carlisle too! Evil!!!
Date: 07 Aug 2017 2:20 AM Title: Chapter 8 - Confessions
no way out but to kill Carlisle.