Date: 12 Jan 2017 8:03 PM Title: The Worn Path to the Sea and Stars
Wilma??? Somebody call Cat Protection because that is a cruel name for a cat. FYI I have a Fluffy little black cat so you had me from there.
This is a nice piece, you describe his turmoil really well and the anguish feels genuine. You also use a lot of the senses which brings reality to the piece such as the spray on his face and the feel of Wilma.
If this is part of a longer piece it needs some purpose or hint as to the key conflict of the story here. Such as he's dreading school but can't tell parents he's being being bullied / flunking because of the situation. If it was the start of a novel I would want to know what was going on. LL
Author's Response:
I'm so sorry for the late response!
Cats are the best, especially fluffy black ones! I don't know what we humans did to deserve cats but I'm grateful we have them.
Thank you so much for your feedback, it's incredibly helpful. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and review, it means a lot.
I'll take your advice into consideration and use it to improve what I'm working on at the moment!
Thanks again!
LSylvaine